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Default Jun 06, 2021 at 05:56 PM
  #41
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Originally Posted by buddha1too View Post
Interesting, @Soupe du jour. My pdoc switched me to Depakote ER (1000mg daily) about two years ago. I blamed multiple pizza weeks and the pandemic for my weight gain, but I now wonder how much the Depakote ER comes into play. I'll research it. Thanks for the thought.
Depakote was my very first bipolar med and I gained 40+ pounds and then gained even more on zyprexa! I'm now on daily Seroquel and I know that's what's keeping me at this current weight. It's still 20 pounds less than what I was and 42 pounds less than my highest.

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Default Jun 06, 2021 at 06:00 PM
  #42
Depakote + Zyprexa was the worst combo I was on in terms of weight gain. It was impossible to lose weight on either, but combined was a nightmare!

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Default Jun 06, 2021 at 09:32 PM
  #43
!0 pound weight loss is fantastic!!!!!!!!
just think about 40 sticks of butter!
1 pound equals 4 sticks of butter.
good for you!
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Default Jun 06, 2021 at 09:35 PM
  #44
I need to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat! I think I'll cut off my head...
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Default Jun 08, 2021 at 05:33 AM
  #45
@buddha1too and @bizi and all:

Thanks for your support!

Buddha1too:

Yes, celebrating the interim goals is important. I phoned my best friend at 7:00am with the news, i was so bursting to tell someone! Another friend i told said, "We should celebrate!!!" right as soon as i told her. We haven't made any specific plans but she's a really special and thoughtful new friend so i think something is brewing!

And whatever you do, DO NOT CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!!!

I worry that your thoughts on weight loss are negative and polarized. Acceptance is the first step on the road to change and the journey is a lot easier if you lose weight out of LOVE for your body, not hatred and not because you think it's ugly.

I bought two mugs which say "PHAT" and then the definition of "Pretty Hot And Thick" to help make myself feel good at my current weight, as i know i cannot lose weigh out of self-hatred. I'm PHAT at the moment -- deal with it!!!

Which is not to say i haven't been where you are. I spent most of my life there thanks to a gymnastics coach i venerated when i was a young gymnast who screwed me over about food and i got anorexia. My parents were failing me so i latched onto this coach for dear life.

Before she got ahold of me i had a healthy indifference to food, even was a picky eater. But that gymnastics coach wanted us all to be skinny and had us do "food reports" each week.

I became competitive about seeing how little i could eat and ended up weighing 85 pounds and i was a serious athlete of 5'3" putting out thousands of calories a week in strenuous exercise.

Thanks, coach.

And her legacy lived on with a lifetime of disordered eating following. For the parents out there, be careful what messages coaches are giving impressionable young daughters because it will be with them for life!

Bizi:

That's a great metaphor, 40 sticks of butter! Just imagine the pile they would make! You're such a doll to support me so colorfully and consistently. I really appreciate your presence here, Bizi!!!

Hugs to all!

Jane.



Last edited by Anonymous41462; Jun 08, 2021 at 06:09 AM..
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Default Jun 08, 2021 at 03:09 PM
  #46
Thanks so much for your thoughts and support, @whatever2013 (Jane). Your insights have helped me out in the past, & the previous post did, too.

I do hate my body in its current state. I was a very competitive athlete until I stopped playing baseball in my late-40s. I also think back to my high school days, when I was a three sport athlete who could wash down five peanut buter & jelly sandwiches with a gallon of whole milk & not gain a pound. I ate with impunity. Somewhere along the line, my metabolism changed. I still shower, but I try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror while undressed now because I'm so sickened!

As you know, I'm doing Weight Watchers again. In June 2019, I was down to 170 pounds! In June 2021 (as of yesterday's weigh in), I weigh 252! I really feel the difference. I felt so much more agile & got less winded at 170 than I do now, and since I turn 60 in a few weeks here, I can't afford to carry this extra weight. Somehow (though I know not how) I lost 3.8 pounds last week. That was without tracking, & making some pretty unhealthy food choices.

Oh, well. I guess change is a process. I'll keep working on it.
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Red face Jun 08, 2021 at 07:55 PM
  #47
hi jane,
I am 7 pounds from my highest weight.
I am 195 right now. UGH!

I must do something about this.
Drinking alcohol is my downfall.

I had less then 2 beers after work at fat pats
and will try to limit it to that. and not
have hubby make me gin and tonics.
I have been having heart burn pretty

bad every night. truly lemonades,

sour beers I just can't drink those any more.

So I am crossing my fingers tonight

and will tell jeff my hubby that that is

what I want to do.
NO GIN AND TONICS!!!!!
Thanks for listening. and for sharing your story,
85 is really tiny.
I was manic about 10 years a go. And got down

to 122, I am 5 ' 7 "
thinking that I was going to try to get to 120.
5 years ago I was 135.
and I looked great bought smaller scrubs

felt great then I crashed after falling down

some brick stairs almost crushed the small

child that I had picked up. I turned to the side to protect her and broke my collar bone when I landed.....
anyway thanks jane for starting this thread.
bizi

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Default Jun 09, 2021 at 05:48 PM
  #48
It's not unpleasant for me, I have diet and weight issues also. I have a terrible metabolism. It seems like I look at food and gain weight

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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 01:13 AM
  #49
@bizi, those gin and tonics are dangerous! They were my choice of hard drink during my alcohol abuse days/years, and the reason for most of my blackouts. In fact, at my worst it truly was the hard stuff that made it extra bad. Vodka and whisky were also included a lot. Not that beer and wine can't become bad enough. I know they can.
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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 01:21 AM
  #50
I have observed here that there are several of us that were highly physically active in our youths. Buddha1too, BethRags, and I are just three I can easily list still around. Beth and I were ballet gals. I wonder if there was some link to bipolar disorder or not, when physical activity becomes intense. I remember dancing more hours per week than I can remember. Constantly. I remember at clubs dancing five or six hours, nonstop, with no fatigue. But then it ended suddenly at points, in between sometimes revving back up again. But it has now been years since my last exercise high spike. Like Buddha wrote, I am now so slowed, physically.
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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 03:38 AM
  #51
@Soupe du jour and all:

Yeah, i was an extremely active youngster as well. I competed in gymnastics and then did aerobics in my twenties. At 33 i was still doing cartwheels!
I also ran 10K races.

I think the meds take the stuffing out of us. I know if i did a cartwheel at this weight (just under 240) i would flatten my head!!!

Aint life grand...

Jane.


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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 05:55 AM
  #52
I have squeeeeeeeeeezed into my size 22 blue jeans for the first time since COVID started! VICTORY!!!!!
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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 06:06 AM
  #53
That's awesome! High five!!!!! Nice feeling, isn't it?

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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 06:36 AM
  #54
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
I have observed here that there are several of us that were highly physically active in our youths. Buddha1too, BethRags, and I are just three I can easily list still around. Beth and I were ballet gals. I wonder if there was some link to bipolar disorder or not, when physical activity becomes intense.
I'd never considered this as a BD factor. In retrospect, however, my schedule, especially when I was in high school, was nuts! I played three sports at a high level, worked 20 hours a week during the school year (60 hour weeks in the summers), & still managed to handle my academic work...plus, I smoked a lot of weed & found time to chase the young women. That's an awful lot to handle! But I still managed to handle it, somehow. That sounds excessive to me. I'm not sure a "normie" could keep up a schedule like that.

@whatever2013...Congrats on the non-scale victory! That's huge...& you're getting less so!
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Default Jun 10, 2021 at 10:31 AM
  #55
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
I have observed here that there are several of us that were highly physically active in our youths. Buddha1too, BethRags, and I are just three I can easily list still around. Beth and I were ballet gals. I wonder if there was some link to bipolar disorder or not, when physical activity becomes intense. I remember dancing more hours per week than I can remember. Constantly. I remember at clubs dancing five or six hours, nonstop, with no fatigue. But then it ended suddenly at points, in between sometimes revving back up again. But it has now been years since my last exercise high spike. Like Buddha wrote, I am now so slowed, physically.

Good point. I used to dance for hours, too - no fatigue. And that was after stretches, then running or cycling for miles. And it wasn't an eating disorder, it was just an IMMENSE and intense amount of tremendous energy. I look back and it seems to me that I was in florid hypomanic or manic states, and I was on only Celexa and Klonopin.

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Default Jun 13, 2021 at 03:54 PM
  #56
I gained 0.1 pounds this week which is unsurprising since i binged yesterday since i felt rejected. I weigh-in every Sunday morning, before breakfast, naked, after my morning bowel movement as @Soupe du jour asked about in another thread.

I binged worse just now, still out of feeling rejected, but i have all week to make up for it and a fridge full of leafy greens, green grapes, radishes, zucchinis, mini-cucumbers, tomatoes, apples, etc. and cupboards full of beans and savory crushed tomatoes and red wine vinegar and a freezer full of frozen veg for when the fresh runs out as i only shop monthly.

I have some vegan faux cheese and vegan faux meats that i ordered online on the way too. You baste the vegan faux meats with BBQ sauce, oil and ROOT BEER -- so unexpected!!!!!

I can't wait to try them!!!!!

Hugs,

Jane.



Last edited by Anonymous41462; Jun 13, 2021 at 06:47 PM..
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Red face Jun 13, 2021 at 10:56 PM
  #57
jane are you vegan? I forgot if you mentioned it before?
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Default Jun 14, 2021 at 03:30 AM
  #58
@bizi and all:

I'm transitioning to vegan. It will probably take me ten years as you have to cook and my cooking skills are very rudimentary. It's a whole lifestyle change, like for example, you do not wear leather or eat marshmallows as they have animal bone marrow in them.

I'm about 80% vegetarian right now and always have been all my life, just my preference. I love cheese tho. It will be hard to give that up. I have some vegan faux cheese on the way. I HOPE I LIKE IT!!!!!

I am a "Flexitarian" right now and will be for a while.

Thanks for your interest, bizi, always happy to hear from you!!!!!

Hugs,

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Red face Jun 14, 2021 at 08:56 PM
  #59
Do you eat fish? salmon in particular is very healthy for you
good luck eating healthy I try to follow a healthy diet. we had organic hot dogs tonight for dinner. they were good with serachi mayo.extra calories, hubby has been dieting and has lost 20 pounds he has been dieting for the past 2 months. He has also started to exercise and fast walk the neighborhood twice a day, in this heat and humidity.
I am happy for him as I sit on this computer on my fat arse.
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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jun 15, 2021 at 02:46 AM
  #60
@bizi and all:

Oh bizi, you make me laugh! How i needed that! And you are not fat, you are lovely! I've adopted the new word "PHAT" which stands for "Pretty Hot And Thick." We can't wait for men to tell us we're pretty, so let's do it for each other!!!!!

Hugs,

Jane.


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