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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#1
I'm not sure if this is related to my bipolar, but I'm hoping someone might have some insights into what could be the cause of this, because I've been struggling with it for a long time.
The gist of it is that it's really difficult for me to absorb information verbally. In university I never used to go to lectures, because they are just a huge waste of time for me. Instead I always read books and absorb the material on my own, which I have no problems with. That wasn't really a huge issue, but of course at work meetings aren't optional, so it's much more of a problem in that context. Other people seem able to engage during meetings, they can take in the information and ask insightful questions, but for me it's just one big blur. It's as if my mind just can't function that way, for reasons I don't understand. FWIW I have no problems at all putting my thoughts into words and conveying them to other people. Nor do I have an issue understanding what people say when it's via e-mail or some other written medium. It's just that I can't absorb the spoken word. I try to get written summaries of meetings when I can so that I can go through it later, but it's not always possible. I wish I understood this part of myself better. My main dx is bipolar, but I also have schizoid/avoidant tendencies and I have another dx of depersonalisation/derealization disorder. I wonder if it might be related to that somehow. I've also wondered whether I might be on the autism spectrum (and other people have thought that about me, too) but when my psychiatrist tested me for that the results were negative. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
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#2
Could it be the medication you’re on?
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Anonymous32451
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
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#3
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leomama
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
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#4
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
4 31 hugs
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#5
I don't think that's it, either. I've always been able to learn very well. I have a PhD and never had problems absorbing and processing information in written form. So I have no issues learning. The only thing is that the spoken word just doesn't seem to get through into my mind. |
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leomama
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
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#6
Quote:
Learning disability doesn’t mean you can’t learn. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#7
Okay, that's a bit of a misnomer then. But regardless, the term learning disability doesn't really mean anything. It just says there is an issue, but it says nothing about the reasons for it. So it's basically just rephrasing what we already know. I'm hoping to find out more about why this happens. It feels like something that's quite fundamental to who I am, at least to me. |
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leomama
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
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#8
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The only way to know is to get tested. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
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#9
I’ve found some things that sound possible:
Auditory processing disorder (APD) - NHS http://www.somersetdyslexia.co.uk/wp...aflet-2017.pdf |
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*Beth*
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#10
I'm like that too it's like I can't focus enough to understand, like they're talking another language. It's particularly bad when my anxiety is high. lip reading really helps as well as recording and playing it through headphones and taking notes. It use to stress me very badly. My AP's help I have SzA though. I can respond like I understand but I don't. It's why I gave up on school so many times. I tend to get really quiet when it's bad.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
4 31 hugs
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#11
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leomama
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
4 31 hugs
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#12
Quote:
Thank you, those look interesting! I'll be sure to check them out! |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
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#13
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
4 31 hugs
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#14
Quote:
I'm diagnosed as bipolar and not SzA, but on personality tests I tend to have elevated scores on schizoid and (to a lesser extent) schizotypal, which I've heard some people consider as part of a "schizophrenia spectrum," if there is such a thing. I mainly have a significant number of the "negative symptoms" of schizophrenia, like flat affect, avoiding close relationships, being solitary most of the time, unable to really enjoy things, and so on. I tend to live more "in my head" than in the real world. I wonder if this could be related to that. As to quitting school, I'm really happy that in university the lectures were optional so that I could skip them and learn in my own way. In high school classes were mandatory and it was a disaster. I can't function in any environment where I'm forced to spend large amounts of time in classrooms or interacting with other people. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#15
Quote:
Thanks, that's possible, however I've been away from that university for several years now so I'm not sure they would help me anymore. I could ask my psychiatrist about it, though. |
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leomama
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
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#16
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
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#17
Your OP reminds me of my husband. He's quite articulate, but when it comes to learning by listening he has tremendous difficulty. I'm absolutely sure he has ADHD, he's definitely a highly anxious person, and I have wondered if he has some autism going on.
Do you feel especially anxious when listening to others? __________________ |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#18
I will, for sure. But I appreciate the insights here as well. I find that people who live the experience sometimes have different insights than psychiatrists or therapists who've never had any first-hand experience. |
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*Beth*, leomama
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
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#19
Quote:
I have a non specific learning disability and an aa degree. Usually you have it identified for accommodations. In your case you don’t need classroom accommodations, however it looks like you could benefit from work accommodations. |
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#20
when I was a child, I was known for remembering things told to me- phone numbers, addresses, tv skedules, if you needed to know something, just ask me- my memory was quite good back then.
when I got diagnosed with bipolar, the combo of meds, stress, other thoughts dominating the brain (dark thoughts) it all messed with my memory really hard, and over the years it's gotten worse and worse- I had to quit my education very early on, start using sticky notes everywhere, I'm to the point now where I've even considered the possibility of early onset dimentia- it may be a bit extreme, but I did see a programme about a choir where someone had it (and he was younger than I was!) I'm also the first person to hold my hand up and say I don't take proper care of myself- eat what I should, get enough exercise and sleep, etc etc. I just don't care I have even had a few instances lately- where I have eaten 2 meals because I can't remember if I have eaten or not |
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*Beth*, mssweatypalms
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