[BeyondtheRainbow]

I was talking to someone last week and realized that thanks to bipolar my relationship with my mother is a thousand times better than it was before. Before I was diagnosed we went a long time not speaking that often and I moved to another state to ensure my space. But when I couldn't manage alone anymore she was there and now our old issues are just gone.

I also had the gift of time when my family member was dying. If I had been working I wouldn't have had a fourth of the time that I had with him at the end and I'm so glad for every time I was able to see him and tell him I loved him, even the times he was being difficult (which was often for a few months when he felt bad but we didn't know how bad it was).

I'm sure there are more. I just am at a place I need to focuse on these things in my life.

Anyone else? It can be really tiny or really big.

[Nammu]

Both my daughter and I are bipolar. It gives us a shared experience and I think a mutual respect for what we’ve been though.

[Scooter9]

More insight into how I think, make decisions, and how I relate to others.

I've also learned how to glean a very large amount of information from very little input. Of course there is a down side to that: people tell me I speak very little making me difficult to read. That's their problem.

[Bipolarchic14]

I get lots of awesome ideas for writing stories. Now I just need to actually write them!

[mssweatypalms]

Before I was diagnosed, I just let myself lash out at people. There were days that I let my anger take control of me. Now, I'm more aware of my emotions and try to distract myself or at least find other ways how to express my feelings in a more controlled manner.

[Victoria'smom]

I got a chance to home school my son and have a close relationship with my immediate family.

[*Beth*]

I love the euphoria of mania, when everything looks beautiful and magical. I'm glad I have had that experience. Unfortunately, mood stabilizers take it away.

[Soupe du jour]

I've benefited from hypomania/mania in the past, in terms of it pushing me beyond (in many ways). But it is also like making a deal with the devil. It eventually comes to get you. Now, I appreciate the stability I have, and being grounded. My worst days with bipolar disorder, and the recovery period, taught me humility and many other positive lessons. I'm a better person because of it all, but of course not perfect. Actually, nowadays I am fine not being perfect.

[MuddyBoots]

Going through the depths of hell and the heights of heaven has given me perspective. I'm much more open minded than before I was symptomatic/diagnosed. I feel like it's made me stronger too. If I have been able to get through this, I feel like I can get through anything this universe can throw at me. And of course there's the experience of euphoria, though that's up for debate if that's "good" since I refused treatment and made less than wise choices to have that again.

[buddha1too]

I've had some amazingly productive and creative periods, but I almost hate to look on any positives. There are days when I wonder how things might have been different if I hadn't surrendered so much to this damned disorder. If I sit and think about it too much I could become very angry, TBH.

[MickeyCheeky]

Personally i don't have anything to add not having bipolar myself. Just wanted to tell you how strong i think you are. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @BeyondtheRainbow, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Originally Posted by BethRags

I love the euphoria of mania, when everything looks beautiful and magical. I'm glad I have had that experience. Unfortunately, mood stabilizers take it away.

Yes, same here! The only thing I like about bipolar is the euphoria when I'm manic, even when it gets out of hand and turns into psychosis. I actually feel addicted to the euphoria. I'm in a depressive episode now, but I'd much rather be manic instead

[HALLIEBETH87]

It has given me compassion and a passion to become a social worker

[Alive99]

I like this thread. I had some similar experiences to thread OP too.



Additionally... I relate to what others already said, too.

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I've benefited from hypomania/mania in the past, in terms of it pushing me beyond (in many ways). But it is also like making a deal with the devil. It eventually comes to get you. Now, I appreciate the stability I have, and being grounded.

Completely agree.

I started getting better once I recognised that the manic moods did not give me anything truly satisfying. It was just a dream, not real, not of substance whatsoever, was not going to get me to my goals in real life or anything.

Of course I took a long time to put that into practice, to observe every little thing about the process of the episodes to be able to change it. It took years, several years. Especially as I had no information initially on what I was dealing with or that there was even a problem.

And yes... it pushed me beyond .....but it was making a deal with the devil. I only needed someone's casual comment about how they themselves would think of how much of a hero they were being when pushing themselves like that.... (afaik the person wasn't bipolar tho) And I instantly sobered up, it was a big part of me observing more of the process to be able to change it.

Originally Posted by Sapien

Going through the depths of hell and the heights of heaven has given me perspective. I'm much more open minded than before I was symptomatic/diagnosed.

Actually yeah, I think I became more open minded too. I can see more perspectives or points of views or something. It's like this mode of functioning in the brain gone off kilter but it still taught me some of that.




PS: I kinda really am convinced now that I did have bipolar. But I'll never know for sure but I relate so much to all these posts.

[Alive99]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I love the euphoria of mania, when everything looks beautiful and magical. I'm glad I have had that experience. Unfortunately, mood stabilizers take it away.

Originally Posted by AutumnW0lf

Yes, same here! The only thing I like about bipolar is the euphoria when I'm manic, even when it gets out of hand and turns into psychosis. I actually feel addicted to the euphoria. I'm in a depressive episode now, but I'd much rather be manic instead

I stopped liking it once I realised it was never actually fulfilling for me. What's truly fulfilling is if I can achieve and do stuff in real life that I can enjoy and be satisfied with. Real relationships, not a magic or idealised idea of one, for example, ..... but this applies to other things as well

The trick is that once you become determined to kill the mania, you will indeed be left with a lower mood (even lower than before). It sure feels like killing you. Um the way I got through it was by reminding myself of what a therapist told me, that depression is the road to accepting actual reality. And if you can get to acceptance, then you will be able to do and achieve in reality what you wanted in your mania. (But in a realistic way, not in a manic, ideal way. But it's also just much more satisfying and fulfilling, being an actual experience rather than just imagination)

Originally Posted by buddha1too

I've had some amazingly productive and creative periods, but I almost hate to look on any positives. There are days when I wonder how things might have been different if I hadn't surrendered so much to this damned disorder. If I sit and think about it too much I could become very angry, TBH.

Maybe you can get to a different place this way. Maybe you haven't lost anything actually. Maybe if you investigate your anger, you can figure out more about all this. (Just my input)

I'm saying all that also because I had similar thoughts myself but I try to do things so I feel like I'm making up for any "lost time", so it doesn't really feel like lost time anymore. Your thoughts would be understandable with any kind of mental or even physical illness, I think.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve met some cool people in my life and I like that I have had my visible symptoms largely under control. I also do like being in therapy with the right one and especially now that telehealth is over.

[Gabyunbound]

Certain hypomania's that didn't turn into Mania. Or the beginnings of them, I should clarify. I don't know if anyone who hasn't experienced this -except maybe under the influence of certain drugs- can experience the colors that are so intense and beautiful as to make you cry... the music that makes you dance alone driven by a euphoria so pure you could cry for pure joy... And then it goes downhill, even if not turning into full-blown mania. But that high... I don't regret it. It's what comes afterwards that keeps me on my meds.

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

Certain hypomania's that didn't turn into Mania. Or the beginnings of them, I should clarify. I don't know if anyone who hasn't experienced this -except maybe under the influence of certain drugs- can experience the colors that are so intense and beautiful as to make you cry... the music that makes you dance alone driven by a euphoria so pure you could cry for pure joy... And then it goes downhill, even if not turning into full-blown mania. But that high... I don't regret it. It's what comes afterwards that keeps me on my meds.

@Gabyunbound...Beautifully expressed! You hit the nail on the head!

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

Certain hypomania's that didn't turn into Mania. Or the beginnings of them, I should clarify. I don't know if anyone who hasn't experienced this -except maybe under the influence of certain drugs- can experience the colors that are so intense and beautiful as to make you cry... the music that makes you dance alone driven by a euphoria so pure you could cry for pure joy... And then it goes downhill, even if not turning into full-blown mania. But that high... I don't regret it. It's what comes afterwards that keeps me on my meds.

Yes that’s the best part of the hypomania when everything is so wonderful, even the chores of life. Nothing seemed to bother me.

[NaoSky]

For me it’s my relationship with my mom. I’ve been one of the few over the years that can put up with her during her manic episodes but at the same time couldn’t. We’ve had our ups and downs throughout the years. Twice in my life I turned my back on her and refused to talk to her because I couldn’t handle her. Her episodes are never severe enough to be hospitalized so she doesn’t get help or meds. She’s currently going through a depression. My first ever manic I went through almost at the same time and then we were both in a severe depression. Now I finally understand my mom. I will never turn my back on her again.

I enjoyed the hypomania because I thought it meant I was super happy about life. I was separated from my husband and started a new relationship that was wonderful. Everything was fantastic for 3 months, but the crash was devastating! I lost the relationship, went back to my husband, and now I’m separated again. I don’t know if I’ll ever date again so that’s the downside to going back to reality is that loss of self-confidence. But I know I need to work on myself.

I liked this question because I had to think about it. I guess if I had to choose something to have that’s different from everyone else, bipolar does give you a ride that’s for sure. Even the lows make you realize pain and compassion for people with mental disorders and some have it way worse!