[Upsidedownandinside]

Wow, about four years since I've felt the need to look for help.
My bipolar seems to be fairly stable, married with two amazing little girls, life was feeling pretty good. Then out of nowhere I develop this pain in my lower back and hip joint, long story short I was diagnosed with this weird bone disorder called Avascular necrosis of my femeral head. Pain is ridiculous, already had one surgery, they call Core Drilling. Still in chronic pain, everyday, in about a month u have to go for x-rays to see if it's recovering. If it hasn't recovered I will need a full hip replacement.

I haven't felt this down in so many years!!! I'm a professional lifeguard, doctor said I'll never run again regardless of what happens. I just don't know what to do or who to turn to. It's a matter of time that I'll lose my job... I feel like curling up into a ball and crying, but can't even lie in a ball...

[Soupe du jour]

Hi Upsidedownandinside. I'm glad to see you join us again. That's great news and very encouraging that your moods have been so stable for so long. I'm sorry to read that you developed an injury to your back and are in pain. I hope the surgery does help in the end and you can recover as fully as possible. Please think positive, if you can. I know that that doesn't take away current pain, but it need not be an indicator that you won't heal more with time. I've heard many stories of doctors being wrong. I hope your doctor is eventually wrong and that you will be able to lifeguard and do a bit of running, after a while.

[*Beth*]

Hello, and welcome back. I feel for you. Chronic pain is so very difficult to live with. Of course, your focus must be on your precious daughters.