[Werewoman]

The general consensus in my house is that every time I get upset I'm overreacting. I've pretty much believed this myself a lot of the time but there have been times when I really resented it.
I constantly feel as though I have to keep myself under control but it's impossible sometimes. The emotion is so powerful it's like it just bursts out of me.
I came to realize that if I were 'normal', my reactions would most likely be overreacting.
But I'm not 'normal'. I never have been. I never will be. I'm fine with that because mental illness is all I've ever known, and whether the people around me like it or not, they can keep getting mad about it which is and has been counterproductive, or they could gently remind me that I'm going off the deep end again, preferably in an amusing manner.
My reactions are perfectly normal for someone with bipolar 1 and who knows how much my other diagnoses contribute to such powerful, uncontrollable emotions.

[Soupe du jour]

I totally understand your situation. I also agree that, to a degree, there must be a "love me or or leave me" attitude. However, there is also a limit to such overreactions. So we must try to curb them, if at all possible. Effort counts. Effort meaning applying therapy and taking medications, if warranted.

Unfortunately, men often get away with extreme reactions more often than women. When some men go ballistic, it's them being a tough guy with lots of testosterone. A woman? Hysterical, way out of line, and therefore more severely judged by both men AND women. In my case, women were particularly judgemental!

There has been almost equal parts nature and nurture behind my past (and sometimes still present) overreactions. I have come a long way in curbing it, though. It was/is necessary!

[Yzen]

I read advice that it is healthy to feel emotions and not suppress them. But, it might help to try to get in the habit of pausing before reacting. When I get upset, I try to ask myself the question "Does this really matter?" and "Is this one of my triggers?" By the time I answer that question, my reaction tends to be less intense. Just remembering to pause after getting that emotional feeling seems to help.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Sometimes, for example when I'm really irritable. But I also feel like when people know you're a psychiatric patient, they tend to attribute every emotion you show to that. It's dehumanizing when you know you're rightfully upset about something and people just act like you're crazy.

[Ursula Shackleton]

Sometimes I overreact, also mostly when I'm irritable. But it's hard to know, really, whether it's an overreaction because I'm on the inside. Sometimes I can tell when I look back on it, or in the moment, but then sometimes my husband gently nudges me toward that conclusion as well. I don't think, for me, overreaction is a result of merely being bipolar though. I am *very* sensitive to hormonal changes, so some of it comes from that.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry for what you're going through! Please Do not give up! Hugs. Although i don't have bipolar i also have a tendency to overreact sometimes, probably because i tend to bottle up what i really feel and then get angry at some insignificant things overall. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that pausing and reflecting may be a good idea. i think it can be hard but it may be worth trying. Perhaps seeing a therapist may also help with handling anger although perhaps you're already doing that. i don't really know. Love. Stay Safe. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @Werewoman, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Yzen

I read advice that it is healthy to feel emotions and not suppress them. But, it might help to try to get in the habit of pausing before reacting. When I get upset, I try to ask myself the question "Does this really matter?" and "Is this one of my triggers?" By the time I answer that question, my reaction tends to be less intense. Just remembering to pause after getting that emotional feeling seems to help.

Thank you! I rarely have the presence of mind to stop and think. I tend to do and then think. I will still try your suggestions though. I see my T on Wednesday. I really need her insights right now.

[Gabyunbound]

I used to overreact to things when I was younger, though it often was due, more often than not, to my alcoholism of the time. With friends I was generally a nice and fun drunk, with my husband of the time, not so much at times.

I do not think overreacting is part and parcel of Bipolar Disorder. As we know it is an episodic disorder, so almost daily, persistent behaviors tend to not be due to this.

However, I think the good news is that, precisely because of this, therapy may be the best way to go, and that doesn't have the side effects of still more BP drugs, which is where one might go in thinking this is BP-related.

[Nammu]

I tend to under react except when in a bp mood state I agree with gabby that overreacting is not part of bp especially if it’s a daily thing. Check into DBT it has a multitude of ways to take back poor impulse control and turn it to your advantage.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

I used to overreact to things when I was younger, though it often was due, more often than not, to my alcoholism of the time. With friends I was generally a nice and fun drunk, with my husband of the time, not so much at times.

I do not think overreacting is part and parcel of Bipolar Disorder. As we know it is an episodic disorder, so almost daily, persistent behaviors tend to not be due to this.

However, I think the good news is that, precisely because of this, therapy may be the best way to go, and that doesn't have the side effects of still more BP drugs, which is where one might go in thinking this is BP-related.

I respectfully disagree.
It IS Bipolar 1 disorder and my behaviors are a direct result of dealing with out of control emotions. I prefer to follow the instructions of my pdoc.
Bipolar effects different people differently. Mine is severe and I have TRD to boot.
Yes it is episodic and I typically go 4 days depressed and 4 days manic.
I've been in therapy for 20 years, but I thank you for your suggestion.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I tend to under react except when in a bp mood state I agree with gabby that overreacting is not part of bp especially if it’s a daily thing. Check into DBT it has a multitude of ways to take back poor impulse control and turn it to your advantage.

Did I say anywhere on this thread that it's a daily thing? My apologies if I did. I just know my two psychiatrists are turning the world upside down trying to find a treatment for me that works. I have also been told by professionals that my outbursts are normal given the severity of my disease. I would not say I have poor impulse control. When I was younger, yes, but I have since learned to control it better.

I'm a little confused, though. What does "I tend to under react except when in a BP mood state"? How do you react when in a BP mood state?

I over-react when hypo-manic. It seems like i'm just being uber-decisive but really it is just because i'm so excitable. Have had to apologize several times. My one close neighbor Louise has forgiven me twice and said not to worry about it, she's just glad i am feeling better. She's very gracious but she is also 15 years older and very healthy and stable and methodical.

I'm trying to make amends to another person who is in recovery like me and he hasn't responded to my two contacts so i fear i ruined it with him forever. Not sure if my emails are even getting thru. I know he's blocked all PMs on this site, so it's possible that he has ghosted me.

He went offline to attend to his health before tho, so perhaps it is just that. I know his "last active" stat here on the site is August 1st at 1:30pm. I do not know if that means the last time he POSTED or the last time he LOGGED-IN. Perhaps he has just been reading.

Anyways, back on topic, yes i have ruined a few relationships by over-reacting while hypo-manic, people very special that i haven't been able to replace. I enjoy all sorts of people but only connect deeply with those few-and-far-between and tend to get intense about them and want more than they can give, when it's clearly in my best interests just to take what they offer.

I'll look into DBT skills for impulse control as Nammu suggested. It's only a problem i have while hypo-manic tho, so i kind of doubt it's something i can be reasoned out of.

Yes, i have a lot of regrets.

[*Beth*]

What FluffyD posted. Same.

[mote.of.soul]

I do feel I overreact sometimes, usually to do with being criticised or perceiving negative judgement put upon me. I don't always react in an angry way because mostly my emotional response is one of feeling very embarrassed or humiliated (and people at the time might somehow feel the need to comment on that too), though other times judgement and criticism might get an angrier reaction from me, again, stemming from basically feeling ashamed within myself. Mostly I wish I simply wasn't like that but it's not the case, and is all linked apparently to very deep-seated core beliefs of shame - a 'toxic shame'.

I'll be honest though: sometimes if I feel an angry reaction is justified, I feel empowered(?) to put the negative feelings back on them. But it's all so tiring, really. Yes, mental health issues.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

I do feel I overreact sometimes, usually to do with being criticised or perceiving negative judgement put upon me. I don't always react in an angry way because mostly my emotional response is one of feeling very embarrassed or humiliated (and people at the time might somehow feel the need to comment on that too), though other times judgement and criticism might get an angrier reaction from me, again, stemming from basically feeling ashamed within myself. Mostly I wish I simply wasn't like that but it's not the case, and is all linked apparently to very deep-seated core beliefs of shame - a 'toxic shame'.

I'll be honest though: sometimes if I feel an angry reaction is justified, I feel empowered(?) to put the negative feelings back on them. But it's all so tiring, really. Yes, mental health issues.

I overreact for the same reasons you do. It's not so much anger as it is shame and guilt. Even when I am certain I am innocent.

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

I overreact for the same reasons you do. It's not so much anger as it is shame and guilt. Even when I am certain I am innocent.

Yes, it's difficult all right. I empathise with you. And I won't ask how that guilt and shame came to be within you in the first place either, because I'm pretty sure I can guess ((hugs)).

Self awareness of my emotional condition, some mindfulness, and positive self affirmations, have probably been my greatest friends in dealing with very strong guilt and shame; primarily as coping tools Also, due to my circumstances I don't have to be around people a lot, so that's had some positives, as well. But I fully understand not everyone wants to, or are able to, just go their own way alone.

Anyway, I appreciated identifying with, and having an opportunity to share as well.

Thank you.

[sarahsweets]

I can’t stand when people say I overreact. I don’t overreact I react. I can’t help if I cry or react in a way that’s too emotional. It’s just the way I am. Anyone who doesn’t like it he can go **** off.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I defenetly act before thinking, which is actually really weird- seeing as I always say to others that you need to think before you speak

[Mountaindewed]

I feel like I overreact a lot to things and some people tell me I do. but then other people tell me what I did was justified. All it does is just really confuse me. Am I doing the right thing or was I in the wrong? Who do I listen to and why and who do I not listen to and why?

I wish everyone was on the same page.

My mom said I should always listen to her. Isn’t there some saying from an old sitcom that goes “mother is always right?” Or was that what Norman Bates said in Psycho?

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Yes, it's difficult all right. I empathise with you. And I won't ask how that guilt and shame came to be within you in the first place either, because I'm pretty sure I can guess ((hugs)).

Self awareness of my emotional condition, some mindfulness, and positive self affirmations, have probably been my greatest friends in dealing with very strong guilt and shame; primarily as coping tools Also, due to my circumstances I don't have to be around people a lot, so that's had some positives, as well. But I fully understand not everyone wants to, or are able to, just go their own way alone.

Anyway, I appreciated identifying with, and having an opportunity to share as well.

Thank you.

I am so jealous. 🤣 I sooooo wish I didn't have to be around people!