advertisement
Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,655 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 10:33 AM
  #621
I’m just hanging on today. My anxiety is pretty sucky and I’ve already taken a Valium. I gave the bottle to my mom the other night. So I can’t just take them whenever I feel a bit of anxiety. I’m trying to learn to just sit with my anxiety. Although if I were in control of them I’d probably double up right now. I think it’s just caffeine related anxiety. I woke up before 2 and I drank a couple sodas and then I got a couple iced teas so I could avoid being tired. I’m not tired. Just anxious.

Basically today is just the same as these last few days. Just waiting for some news. I hope I get news this week. It should be faster then last time since I don’t need to jump through so many hoops. The phone just rang but it was just the pharmacy about some meds.

The phone rang again 10 minutes ago and this time it was my moms friend. Every time it rings my stomach drops and then when it’s not the doctor I get flooded with a wave of anxiety. I’m just very on edge today. I had SpongeBob on again but I couldn’t even concentrate on that. so now I’m sitting in bed.

I kinda think a giant pretzel bun burger would make my anxiety less since I’ve been barely eating these last couple of weeks.

My therapist said yesterday that I seemed very fixated on death. I was telling her about Heath Ledger and how he was 28 the age I am and how I have had a lot of the same stuff in my system at one time that he had in his. I didn’t tell her I was S because I wasn’t. I didn’t tell her either that I tried multiple times to join the 27 club including the night before I turned 28. And how when I woke up on my 28th birthday I felt like a complete failure.

I mean, I’m currently not S or thinking about it, but I do get down sometimes that I never joined the club. I should probably mention that 27 club thing to her at the next session.

This is what my surgery will help with. It will make me an emotionally stable man. Before my transition I never thought about any of this stuff. I remember accidentally taking an extra Geodon in the summer of 2019 and I freaked out so badly for a couple days that I could have really hurt myself. Now I do worse without any thought.

I just took one of my Geodon 80’s. The one that I am technically supposed to take in the AM anyways. I’m out of my 20’s and i can’t get ahold of my pdoc. I had been taking 2 80’s at night but I’m spiraling a bit right now and I’ve already used 2 of my 3 Valium and I just needed something legit. Valium doesn’t really work magic the way people say it does. Most of the time it just goes right through me.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jul 27, 2021 at 12:27 PM..
Mountaindewed is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123

advertisement
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,301 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 10:35 AM
  #622
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
I typed out a long mess about what happened with my NP appt today and it went poof.. I hate when that happens..

Anyway she is leaving my meds and Xanax alone, She said based on the Email Richard sent and him having a talk about me to her last week , she is comfortable leaving everything as is.. HUGE relief.. I just hope it stays that way.

So I got in the car and had a huge break down in tears, knowing for at least 3 months I wont have to worry (as much)

I feel better but my anxiety is still huge. I hope that it will start to ease or at least Bipolar can spit me out the other side, the sooner the better.

I hope everyone is having a good start of the week

I want to Thank each and everyone of you that have been so kind to me, I know I have been a mess for a long time

Love and Hugs to all
Oh Christina, that's great that the NP is leaving your meds and the Xanax alone, I was worried for you!

Much Love to You!

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline  
 
Hugs from:
bizi, ~Christina
 
Thanks for this!
bizi, ~Christina
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 11:33 AM
  #623
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzie1813 View Post
I did my nails last night with ColorStreet nail polish strips and some for my cousin this morning because hers were chipped. I’m not really sure how I feel this morning, not great but not bad either. Tracking says my sculpting tools are still running late. So annoying! I really wanted to give doll making a try today. I didn’t have the energy to set up my new blender to make a smoothie. Maybe later. I had a Diet Coke before my cousin came then I had milk and a banana for breakfast after she left. I’m worried I’ve gained back the weight that I lost. Not sure what I’ll do today. Going back to bed sure is tempting. I don’t really want to spend the day watching TV. I think I’m burnt out on Grey’s Anatomy. No surprise since I’m on season 10. I’ve looked around on Netflix but nothing interests me. Maybe I’ll read. I left a message for my pdoc asking if I could take buspirone for my severe anxiety. An acquaintance of mine says she takes it. Fingers crossed that she’ll let me. I need help with this.

A low dose AP can help with anxiety, especially if it's bipolar disorder anxiety, which tends to be vicious.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Lizzie1813
 
Thanks for this!
Lizzie1813
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,301 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 11:37 AM
  #624
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


A low dose AP can help with anxiety, especially if it's bipolar disorder anxiety, which tends to be vicious.
Seroquel for example? (that was prescribed to me, later I became allergic to it though)

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline  
 
Hugs from:
bizi
wildflowerchild25
Elder
 
wildflowerchild25's Avatar
wildflowerchild25 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,431
10 yr Member
9,545 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 11:48 AM
  #625
I decided I will invite my cousins with the knowledge that the younger one probably won’t come anyway and I’m thinking the older one and his boyfriend will be able to behave in a public social setting better than they behave around just family at our family dinners. I’m just going to subtly tell them to bring their own wine if they think there’s something specific they would like. I scoured the internet looking for advice about complicated family situations and weddings and I feel that they will not cause unnecessary drama and just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean I can’t extend an invitation. I really don’t have to talk to them much if I don’t want to since there will be plenty of other people there.

As for my ex MIL I decided I am 100% not inviting her because it would just be too weird and uncomfortable. I am going to explain why to her but after that her reaction is not my responsibility.

I had SO much trouble waking up this morning! I have no idea why! I actually only took half my normal seroquel amount. I fell asleep to a sleep story on the calm app. I had to get up to take my son to his physical and I just kept turning off my alarm. I finally forced myself out of bed believing that it very well could be 10am already. I don’t know if it was because I was dreaming but it was just so difficult. I am so concerned I will not be able to wake up in time for work in September. A week before work starts I am going to start getting up with RS at 6:30 so I get used to it.

__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
wildflowerchild25 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, Innerzone, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
 
Thanks for this!
~Christina
Lizzie1813
Member
 
Lizzie1813's Avatar
Lizzie1813 I’m doing my best.
 
Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 205
3 yr Member
262 hugs
given
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 12:09 PM
  #626
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


A low dose AP can help with anxiety, especially if it's bipolar disorder anxiety, which tends to be vicious.
I take 20 mg Saphris. It’s an AP. My pdoc also upped my Lamictal. My anxiety is out of control. I’m going to talk about it (again) with my therapist today at 2:00. Something has to change.

__________________


Dx: Bipolar 1, BPD, Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia

Rx:

Trintellix 20 mg
Saphris 20 mg
Lamictal 300 mg
Lunesta 2 mg
Buspirone 5 mg 2 x day
Lizzie1813 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, Nammu, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,655 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 01:00 PM
  #627
I’m kinda panicking about a lot of stuff. I took my 160 mil of Geodon super early. So now I’m probably messed up for tomorrow as well since I can’t take any more tonight. But hopefully I get super trippy and out of it so I don’t have to feel my anxiety or anything else for the rest of the day. It’s unusual for me to get this panicky and anxious this time of day. Usually I don’t do anything unhealthy until later in the evening.

I’m not tired from the meds. Not spiraling anymore but not 100% ok either. I have my beats on so I can’t hear if the phone rings at all. My mom gets the calls on her phone.

I’m listening to the song Unwell by Matchbox Twenty.

I have a couple more hours for my call to come in. And then if it doesn’t I’ll have to do this all over again tomorrow. But my Geodon got called in finally.

I don’t know. I just feel unusually weird today but I’ve been up for a long time and my meds were so messed up today. Maybe I’ll try a hot bath with some vicks vapor bath salts.

I took the bath. Then I ate a burrito and took 4 zzquil pure zzz gummies. Not sure if 4 was too much or not. But I just want this day to be over with so I can start the same **** all over again in the morning.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jul 27, 2021 at 04:56 PM..
Mountaindewed is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, Lizzie1813, Sunflower123, VerMOZZica
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 02:23 PM
  #628
I just checked the time and it was 20:22. hmm
 
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
bizi
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 02:24 PM
  #629
I seriously need to stop with this whole cat sat on the mat ****

people don't like it.. but it's so cute. I think so anyway
 
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 02:26 PM
  #630
stomach ache again because food didn't agree with me.

I seriously can't go on like this..
 
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Lizzie1813, Sunflower123
Sunflower123
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
95k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 05:45 PM
  #631
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
I’m all signed up for my classes at the Y. I hope I can go though with it and not back out. You need to sign up every week as they have limited number of people they take. Between being so out of shape and overweight and not being able to use my hearing aids which makes me completely deaf I’m afraid I’ll back out. My first class is tonight at 6:30. Warm water fitness. Sounds like a perfect intro. Tomorrow it’s aqua Zumba then three days of aqua fitness. Plus I need to use the track to walk longer and longer. Pretty sure the water classes will all be easy on my back. It’s just the awkwardness of being around people plus not hearing them.
I’m so pleased for you that you’re doing this. I got a scholarship form to fill out months ago and haven’t followed through with it. You are inspiring me to get with it.
Sunflower123 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
bizi, Nammu, ~Christina
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, bizi, Nammu
Sunflower123
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
95k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 05:55 PM
  #632
Life is getting better and better with my new therapist and a better understanding of what’s going on. SI has disappeared.

I took mom to another town for a doctor’s appointment and ran all my errands today. Getting those checked off felt good. I’m tired and have a headache and backache now but still need to cook dinner and pick up. Maybe after the Bayer kicks in.

I had a good time with my daughter Sunday. The movie and visit were great. We had to detour due to somebody’s fatal accident on the road. Tragic.

I hope everyone has a good Wednesday. I’m taking my brother to get his truck fixed and to a pain management appointment then hitting the pool for the day. The forecast is high 90’s.
Sunflower123 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, Innerzone, Mountaindewed, Nammu, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
 
Thanks for this!
bizi, ~Christina
Lizzie1813
Member
 
Lizzie1813's Avatar
Lizzie1813 I’m doing my best.
 
Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 205
3 yr Member
262 hugs
given
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 06:13 PM
  #633
I’m hurting so much tonight. I can’t breathe. I can’t keep the tears away. Sometimes I think this pain will kill me. Missing my son so much and feeling so hopeless.

__________________


Dx: Bipolar 1, BPD, Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia

Rx:

Trintellix 20 mg
Saphris 20 mg
Lamictal 300 mg
Lunesta 2 mg
Buspirone 5 mg 2 x day
Lizzie1813 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, Innerzone, Mountaindewed, Nammu, VerMOZZica, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
 
Thanks for this!
Mountaindewed
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 06:56 PM
  #634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
Seroquel for example? (that was prescribed to me, later I became allergic to it though)

I think Seroquel is used for anxiety. It didn't do anything for mine. I'm thinking of a low dose of one of the older AP's.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
 
Hugs from:
bizi
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 06:59 PM
  #635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzie1813 View Post
I take 20 mg Saphris. It’s an AP. My pdoc also upped my Lamictal. My anxiety is out of control. I’m going to talk about it (again) with my therapist today at 2:00. Something has to change.

I have not had any relief from anxiety with the second generation AP's. The older AP's seem to work against anxiety much more effectively. I take Trilafon (perphenazine); it's the first med that has really helped with extreme anxiety.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Nammu
 
Thanks for this!
Nammu
Lizzie1813
Member
 
Lizzie1813's Avatar
Lizzie1813 I’m doing my best.
 
Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 205
3 yr Member
262 hugs
given
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 07:14 PM
  #636
My pdoc prescribed buspirone today for my anxiety. I can’t pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. I read that it can take 3 to 4 weeks for it to start working. She won’t prescribe benzos. I hope this makes a difference. My anxiety is overwhelming.

__________________


Dx: Bipolar 1, BPD, Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia

Rx:

Trintellix 20 mg
Saphris 20 mg
Lamictal 300 mg
Lunesta 2 mg
Buspirone 5 mg 2 x day
Lizzie1813 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, Innerzone, Mountaindewed, ~Christina
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 07:29 PM
  #637
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzie1813 View Post
My pdoc prescribed buspirone today for my anxiety. I can’t pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. I read that it can take 3 to 4 weeks for it to start working. She won’t prescribe benzos. I hope this makes a difference. My anxiety is overwhelming.

I hope the Buspar is the answer for you. I know the kind of pain you're in. It's a cannot run, cannot hide kind of pain. I'm so sorry, Lizzie.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
 
Hugs from:
bizi, Lizzie1813
 
Thanks for this!
Lizzie1813
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,982 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 27, 2021 at 08:18 PM
  #638
Wooo the aqua Zumba class was excellent. There were 6 others there and except for one they were all my age and all were overweight so I fit in just fine. I thought maybe I might heat a beat if the music was loud enough but it wasn’t but I did just as well as the others in class so definitely making this a weekly thing. Not sure yet if I can go to tomorrow’s aqua fitness class because my sister hasn’t called me back yet. I offered to take mum to the doctor instead of going to the fitness class because it’s going to be storming and she’s gotta drive 50 miles. I know I hate driving the interstate in storms so I offered. There’s still two other classes Thursday and Friday and I’ve already moved more this week than I usually do in a month, so missing one class is no biggy. I did the oversized T-shirt thing and went home to change.

Jennifer I’m definitely glad I did this. You can too, it’s worth it.

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Innerzone
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, bizi
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 28, 2021 at 12:51 AM
  #639
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzie1813 View Post
My pdoc prescribed buspirone today for my anxiety. I can’t pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. I read that it can take 3 to 4 weeks for it to start working. She won’t prescribe benzos. I hope this makes a difference. My anxiety is overwhelming.
I took this yearsss ago and it did nothing for me... My daughter tried it and with in a week it made a huge difference..

Every med works differently for everyone.. Try and hang in there.. Stop punishing yourself. Take another day to float

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline  
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Fuzzybear
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 28, 2021 at 05:57 AM
  #640
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 View Post
...
I had SO much trouble waking up this morning! I have no idea why! I actually only took half my normal seroquel amount. I fell asleep to a sleep story on the calm app. I had to get up to take my son to his physical and I just kept turning off my alarm. I finally forced myself out of bed believing that it very well could be 10am already. I don’t know if it was because I was dreaming but it was just so difficult. I am so concerned I will not be able to wake up in time for work in September. A week before work starts I am going to start getting up with RS at 6:30 so I get used to it.

Seroquel at lower doses will cause sleepiness.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:34 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.