Cool Insomnia Club #3

Nightmares last night

Ooo last night was horrible. I tossed and turned like Christina’s fish most of the night. I hurt my back swimming Monday night and can’t find a comfortable spot. Mum was up and down all night too. I saw her lights several times. I fell asleep at last, like 5-6 in the morning and got a couple of hard hours disturbing dream state sleep. A beautiful woman/girl was working at a mar a lago type place and security was hounding her for the murder of one of their very rich dudes. Turned out she had been assaulted by several of the rich dudes and lost a baby and her secret was that she was carrying a doll everywhere. I woke up before the end so I don’t know who did it and security was still hounding the girl. I work up so hot and drenched. It sure wasn’t a beneficial sleep!

I fell asleep around 6:30. I woke up at 10. I was starving so I had a 2 pack of White Castle sliders. Then I got back to sleep right before midnight. I woke up half an hour ago and I feel ok. Kinda groggy, but awake. My new calming melatonin worked but I still woke up.

Lets hope we are both back in the water tonight and can sleep !!!

Oh thats sounds like a terrible dream

I woke up at 3:40 this morning. My music is so repetitive I am tired of it. I have a TV hung up on my wall that I just fixed the other day. So I said why not and turned it on at about 4. I watched a couple TV shows before heading to the bathroom at 5:30.

I did get some fast acting time release melatonin today. My brother in law had some and that stuff was great. I couldn’t find it anywhere until yesterday. So I’ll try that tonight. The zzquil gummies with some herb in them that I got yesterday were weird. I fell asleep fast but I woke up at 11:30PM insanely hungry for hamburger sliders. I can’t remember the last time I ate frozen food.

I’m trying every non prescription sleeping med I can find. They work for a week or 2 but then they stop. My doctor thought I might have sleep apnea.

I seem to be averaging around 2 hours at a time, either night or day. No regularity.

Breaking Dawn I hope that you start getting more sleep. Life is hard.. Life with virtually no sleep is so much harder

Almost 3 Hours !

I think I might break down and take a Ambien tonight... I really need a sleep coma !

I got pissed at my mom last night and I went to bed without eating anything around 6. She was trying to get me to eat but I wouldn’t because we had agreed on dinner plans and then I changed my mind and then I wanted the dinner plans again when it was too late. Yeah. Completely 100% my fault. So I sent her a text telling her to just leave me alone for the rest of the night. Despite my new melatonin I kept waking up throughout the night for a few seconds at a time. I got up around 1:30 and I ate some cereal and I took another melatonin and I fell back asleep off and on until 6. I don’t know what time it was but at one point I tried listening to my music which I am so bored of and then I tried another podcast but I was too tired to focus and I fell back asleep.

So now I’m waiting for my mom to get up so I can apologize because I do feel pretty guilty about last night.

I'm sure your mom will understand. She obviously is in your corner. Best wishes!

I did apologize. She didn’t really seem bothered by the incident. I mean it wasn’t a huge incident. I wasn’t like yelling or anything like that. I was basically just acting entitled. But I’ve become pretty *****y since starting my transition so this isn’t new behavior. I am being told my surgery in October will help me become stable and not have these episodes. But October is a long ways away. I need to figure out something now to help me out until then.

You seem to understand yourself pretty good, so that's a plus. Keep trying to hang in there.

I had this dream last night where I got a cookie dough ice cream blast, a chili cheese dog, and an order of cheese fries from Sonic. I woke up 45 minutes ago wanting that exact order. I am starving right now.

I got up half an hour ago and I ate some cereal. So I don’t feel quite as hungry. At least not for Sonic.

I got anxious and depressed last night around 3. So I took all my meds and my melatonin. At 3:30. I thought I’d get super hungry or something but at 4 I could not keep my eyes open and I fell asleep until 10:30. I stayed up for an hour and I took another melatonin and then I fell back asleep until my usual time.

I slept from about 9 to midnight and then was awake the rest of the night. Finally got up around 4 am.

I think I had 3 naps sinse last evening.

I took my 20 mil melatonin at 3:30. Then I took my 20 mil Geodon at 4. I took the 160 a bit later. I was still up by 5:30. I think I fell asleep at 6. I was so tired from all the Geodon and the melatonin I couldn’t actually eat a legit dinner. I was too tired to make oatmeal. I didn’t want my mom to make it for me. So I just grabbed a pack of protein peanut butter cups and ate those. Then I fell asleep until 11. I took another couple melatonin’s and grabbed a can of diet caffeine free Mountain Dew I didn’t open. Then I fell back asleep until about 3. I watched the AGT my mom had recorded for my from last night. I finished it around 4:40.

So then I just hung out on my phone. I noticed some more of my books are in at the library. I started another episode of my podcast. About 10 minutes ago I made my bed and cleared off the ramen bowl from yesterday’s lunch.

I feel ok though both physically and mentally and I’ve felt fine all night. Well there’s that pain that is going to make my surgery medically necessary. That was going on and it was frustrating. But besides that I’m fine.

I fell into a deep sleep but I'm still very tired.

All I want to do is lie in bed and sleep. It's the only place where my mind is quieter.

I fell asleep quickly after dinner. About 2 minutes after AGT had started. Which I had recorded anyways. I woke up sometime at night to finish my dinner from last night. Then I fell back asleep until about 5. I watched AGT on the TV in my room. It ended right around the time I get up in the morning to watch The Today Show in the family room.

I feel rested.