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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 10:22 AM
  #1
I often have many questions...

I do not have so many answers...

I am currently wondering about a few things...

one of them is re bipolar/mh stuff - and DBT/distress tolerance skills

another is - is it easy to grow avocados from seed?

and have you (dear reader) ever/often grown any plant/flower/tree from seed? And if so would you care to share?

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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 10:40 AM
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I always think about random stuff, and right now, I think my top 10 questions are:

1. if old mcdonald had afarm, what is he doing now?

2. why is it cows give us milk, and pigs bacon?. what would it be like in reverse

3. why can't I just live like benjamen button?. born with all the adult responsibilities of life, and as you get older, you just play and have fun

4. when people ask, " how are you", do they want to know?, or do they ask because it's the polite thing to say

5. what is the ultimate goal of life?. why are we here

6. why don't they just make self cleaning skin. it would save all the agony of a shower

7. why is the baby shark song so popular?. it really isn't anything special

8. why is money can buy you happyness such a popular belief?

9. do dolphins/ fish/ sharks get depressed?

10. why do wasps and bees basically make the same noise. it's confusing
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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 11:16 AM
  #3
I am also wondering about distress tolerance/DBT skills. I'm going to ask my fss worker about it on Tuesday. I looked it up last night and found a DBT skill called ACCEPTS that sounds promising. Here's the link I was reading it from: https://www.therapistaid.com/workshe...nce-skills.pdf

I've grown an apple tree from an apple but it does not produce apples (yet?). It's a nice tree though. That's at my mom's house. We have a lot of plants (corn, tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, chives, blueberries, raspberries, and various flowers) that mostly were grown from seeds but purchased from pouches. Here we used to have an indoor lemon tree that produced lemons but the lack of sun finally got to it this past winter.

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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
I am also wondering about distress tolerance/DBT skills. I'm going to ask my fss worker about it on Tuesday. I looked it up last night and found a DBT skill called ACCEPTS that sounds promising. Here's the link I was reading it from: https://www.therapistaid.com/workshe...nce-skills.pdf

I've grown an apple tree from an apple but it does not produce apples (yet?). It's a nice tree though. That's at my mom's house. We have a lot of plants (corn, tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, chives, blueberries, raspberries, and various flowers) that mostly were grown from seeds but purchased from pouches. Here we used to have an indoor lemon tree that produced lemons but the lack of sun finally got to it this past winter.
Thanks MuddyBoots

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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 11:51 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
another is - is it easy to grow avocados from seed?

and have you (dear reader) ever/often grown any plant/flower/tree from seed? And if so would you care to share?
I’ve never had success with avocados but I’ve seen many do it and it’s really neat. Mine always crack open like they’re about to take off but the shoot never emerges. I’ve even applied hormones to trick it but nope, nothing.

@MuddyBoots apples are an interesting experiment. Apples are cross pollinated so you never know what you’re going to get and unfortunately it’s likely to be inferior just because the way genes shuffle.

Tree breeders live an interesting professional life. Due to the long life cycle they finish their predecessor’s work while your successor will finish yours and so on. And that’s whether it’s for fruit or wood or whatever product you’re breeding for. Some of that is changing now that molecular genetics tools are taking over but you still have to wait to see what the real result is.
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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 06:31 PM
  #6
Sadly, I am not much of a green thumb. Most plants I've had, regardless of the nurturing I give to them, end up dying BUT David (my husband) is a terrific gardener. When we met he had 26 avocado plants in pots on his sun porch. He had grown each plant from an avocado seed! Now, the thing is, avocado trees are...something...there has to be a "male" tree and a "female" tree in order for avocados to grow. I don't know how it works, but I do know a lovely woman who does get avocados from her tree. I believe they have to live in a hot climate. ??

The one incredible success I've had with gardening was when I planted a single seed from a packet of King Sunflower seeds. I planted the seed just outside of a window. Well, that seed sprouted and grew and grew until it got a tremendously large sunflower on it. The stalk was thick! It kept growing taller and taller until it was actually taller than the house! How magnificent was that sunflower! It lived all summer, then when the weather started to cool the huge flower kind-of bent over and shriveled up. But then my kids and I plucked the seeds from the flower and roasted them. It was a fabulous experience.

Lovely thread, Fuzzy dear

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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 06:45 PM
  #7
My mom was at peace when she was gardening. It was the only time I knew her to be calm. Her gardens were incredible, so beautiful. Roses of every color, great big lemon trees, and a large orange tree, fig tree, pepper tree, acacia tree, poplars, birch trees, an evergreen tree, plum tree, and so many flowers and bushes. Honeysuckle and jasmine - paradise scents! In spring, the grasses were covered with violets. The gardens were my refuge in my rotten childhood. I was so lucky to have those magnificent gardens.

Apple trees grow all around here, they seem to do best in the mountains.

Boots, thanks for that link. It's good, and I also need to practice DBT skills. Recently, I read about "wise mind" and found it interesting. I love the concept of listening to my mind as opposed to telling myself.
Here's another link:
What is "Wise Mind?" - Mindfulness Muse

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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 06:56 PM
  #8
We learned about wise mind in IP and I didn't understand it. I read the link and I still don't understand it. I don't even know where to begin or what questions to ask because it just doesn't make sense.

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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 10:44 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
We learned about wise mind in IP and I didn't understand it. I read the link and I still don't understand it. I don't even know where to begin or what questions to ask because it just doesn't make sense.

I first heard of it last week. So it's a totally new concept to me, too. I mostly understand it, but where I get stuck is that I start seriously beating up on myself for not being perfect. I don't understand...I don't know, I can't even keep my idea straight in my mind.

Anyway, I read this:

Some examples of Wise Mind could include taking a timeout in the middle of a fight to avoid saying something you don't mean, following your gut and not walking in a dark alley at night, or finding time to meditate during a stressful workday and taking care of yourself.

Wise Mind is being able to go deep within and intuitively know what the most effective course of action is to pursue. It is very important to realize that Wisdom (Wise Mind) is found experientially. It is not found through our reasoning or our emotions.


For example, is your dad using Wise Mind when he does meth? No, he's not...and you probably have a list of reasons why he isn't. What would happen if, when he has the urge to do meth, he opts for a healthier choice? How would you feel if he chose in a wiser way...what would that mean to you? So take that and apply it to your own substance use, and what do you come up with?

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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 11:23 PM
  #10
I inherited my green thumb from my dad.In pursuit of staying away from my mom I used to hang around my dad when I was home and my dad was in the yard if not at work.He used to engage me in weeding,watering and stuff like that.Watching my dad making trellis for climbers was so awesome .He used to holler at me when he needed extra hands.I liked the attention thus he paid to me. Eventually gardening became my favourite pastime now.I have many heirlooms.I like doing experiments in my garden.I propagate my plants.In my childhood when dad got very busy with his work I took over his garden.I grew all kinds of seasonal and perennials. I grew herbs,corn,potatoes,onions,tomatoes,beans.My dad had a friend who grew vegetables in his garden.He used to come over to check upon my vegetable patch and gave suggestions. He really admired my enthusiasm as a little girl.He used to give me his extra seedlings.My garden buddy he was.I was into cooking too.It was fun to harvest my own herbs and veggies to cook.

Thank you Fuzzy for this thread.Some good memories surfaced today.
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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 02:03 AM
  #11
@Mendingmysoul

Thank you for sharing your sweet memories. They sound like a beautiful painting.

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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 06:50 AM
  #12
I've never tried to plant an avocado pit. I think they'd do best in a more tropical or Mediterranean environment, which I don't live in. Perhaps if I had a greenhouse or Florida room it might be possible to plant in a huge pot. I don't know. I have grown herbs, tomatoes, and peppers from seed with success. I also enjoy planting flower bulbs. The latter are the easiest.

Is there a specific distress tolerance skill you're interested in? I had some DBT therapy a couple times in an IOP Women's program. When I was attending I wasn't able to practice anything because I was mostly manic or manic with mixed features. I did revisit DBT skills years later and now find some (not all) useful. I think the self-soothing involves some mindfulness. Taking time to concentrate on and involve oneself in pleasant sensory things (pretty picture or watching a chipmunk, smell of cinnamon, feel of my favorite alpaca blanket).

I think Radical Acceptance is often misunderstood. It's not telling oneself to be satisfied with a bad situation (or thing), but that bad situations happen in life and things will either get better in time or that it's time to start concentrating on the things in life that ARE good. Or, accept what's been and finally work to move on because it is impossible to change the past. What was was. Or what's now need not be in the future. These are the main Distress Tolerance skills I use.

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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 08:41 AM
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Yes, avocados do grow best in a Mediterranean climate (where I live has a Mediterranean climate and avocados grow so easily here).

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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 08:42 AM
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@Soupe du jour
Thank you for those explanations. They are so helpful.

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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 11:20 AM
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Thanks so much to everyone for the replies. There are some very interesting and helpful replies here.

Beth, I can relate re your mom. Mine too was at peace when she was gardening (the only time I remember her being calm) - and a lovely garden was my refuge in a rotten childhood.

Soupe, I'm not sure right now re a specific distress tolerance skill I'm interested in, thanks so much for the helpful explanations. If I think of something later (a specific skill I'm interested in I'll post here. I think I read something yesterday re Radical Acceptance I didn't find very helpful (somewhere else, not here) I would guess almost everyone (with almost any dx including bipolar) would find something helpful in DBT as it has so many skills.

Thanks to Soupe du jour, Beth, MuddyBoots, Mendingmysoul and all,

Much love and respect to all

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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 11:50 AM
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My mom was at peace when she was gardening. It was the only time I knew her to be calm. Her gardens were incredible, so beautiful. Roses of every color, great big lemon trees, and a large orange tree, fig tree, pepper tree, acacia tree, poplars, birch trees, an evergreen tree, plum tree, and so many flowers and bushes. Honeysuckle and jasmine - paradise scents! In spring, the grasses were covered with violets. The gardens were my refuge in my rotten childhood. I was so lucky to have those magnificent gardens.

Apple trees grow all around here, they seem to do best in the mountains.

Boots, thanks for that link. It's good, and I also need to practice DBT skills. Recently, I read about "wise mind" and found it interesting. I love the concept of listening to my mind as opposed to telling myself.
Here's another link:
What is "Wise Mind?" - Mindfulness Muse
Thanks Beth for the link

Those gardens sound incredibly beautiful!


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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 12:30 PM
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I wonder if with out even knowing consciously, I have picked up the grounding activities as my coping skills starting from my childhood. I also wonder today if that is what my dad was also doing.I remember him always being in the yard,doing something.He eventually stopped.My mom hated gardening.I think once he stopped those grounding and soothing activities he turned into my mom behaviourwise and became abusive towards me ,I think.
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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 06:27 PM
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...

Beth, I can relate re your mom. Mine too was at peace when she was gardening (the only time I remember her being calm) - and a lovely garden was my refuge in a rotten childhood.

...


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Default Jul 17, 2022 at 09:37 PM
  #19
How do mermaids wash their fins?





With tide!!!!!

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Default Jul 18, 2022 at 12:04 AM
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How do mermaids wash their fins?


With tide!!!!!

Very cute

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