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Old 10-12-2021, 02:51 PM   #1
Miss Laura
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Default I'm suicidal and not doing great

Hi guys,

I'm really struggling with suicidal thoughts, wanting to run away, thinking life will be better without me in it. Wish death had took me instead of my Mum.

I have had a lot going on Mum's death in July, my Uncle's death in September, family dynamics, family fighting.

I usually get depressed around about this time of year but now I'm suicidal. I hope this is a blip but it's not looking like that.

I called the duty worker in my mental health team. They recommend distractions and they would get my Community Psychiatric Nurse to contact me that was 7 hours ago its 9pm here so hoping my CPN calls tomorrow.

I'm just really f$$$ed up.... sorry!!!

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Old 10-12-2021, 03:05 PM   #2
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Hopefully they get back to you soon. I know it's after hours but maybe they have an on call dr. Until bed hang out here. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.
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Old 10-12-2021, 03:08 PM   #3
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

I can call NHS 24 but I don't want to just cause I'm staying with my Sister tonight and I haven't told her. Purely for the fact she has been working late tonight preping for a meeting first thing.

If I get worse I will contact someone

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Old 10-12-2021, 03:18 PM   #4
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Sorry things are so hard right now.
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Old 10-12-2021, 04:08 PM   #5
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

I think your state of mind is in part the grief process.
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Old 10-12-2021, 05:20 PM   #6
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

I hope you can get ahold of someone to help.
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Old 10-12-2021, 06:15 PM   #7
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Hi Laura,

This is my first time posting here in this forum. I saw your post because I too am having strong thoughts to just want to die but not a plan.

Miss Laura, How old are you? I turn 60 tomorrow.. Life is hard with mood disorders and being lonely. Thankfully you are with your sister and not alone and perhaps you can just sit in the living room and watch TV and talk to her or call someone.
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Old 10-12-2021, 07:27 PM   #8
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

I think call the 24 hour line. you don't want to risk your life. your thoughts are serious and hard to fight, get help.
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Old 10-12-2021, 07:45 PM   #9
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Red face Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

miss laura,
Please check in.
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Old 10-12-2021, 09:09 PM   #10
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Talking things through on the phone can provide temporary relief. I agree with BethRags' opinion that some of what you're feeling is grief. Hang on.
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Old 10-12-2021, 09:16 PM   #11
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Do you have a text support system there? Here texting something (741741 I think) hooks you to someone to talk to.

I hope you feel better soon and that your nurse gets back to you soon.
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Old 10-13-2021, 02:38 AM   #12
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Yeah we can call or email The Samaritans, call or chat online to Breathing Space, text SHOUT to a number and they will support you. I just hate bugging people. I know I'm worthy of support I should just do it but I can't. Thanks guys it's nearly 9am here so hopefully my CPN will call at some point today

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Old 10-13-2021, 04:52 AM   #13
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

I hope your CPN calls soon, or has already this morning, Miss Laura. You absolutely need support! And I think it would be highly beneficial, if possible, to get grief counseling. I didn't right away after my mother died either. I got to the point where I demanded it while at the hospital. Luckily they came up with a group after my request. There was a younger woman who lost someone dear to her and a middle-aged woman who lost her teenage daughter who also participated. I couldn't help but wonder if I hadn't pressed for this counseling if none of us would have received it. Maybe consider asking for one.
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Old 10-13-2021, 12:26 PM   #14
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Another day and another no show from my CPN. I've called in 2 days 16 times I'm not asking for much sorry I'm suicidal ill just ignore the symptoms right

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Old 10-13-2021, 01:59 PM   #15
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Laura View Post
Another day and another no show from my CPN. I've called in 2 days 16 times I'm not asking for much sorry I'm suicidal ill just ignore the symptoms right

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If it gets bad, get a ride or drive yourself to the hospital. Is there a psych ER in your hospital? Is it far?

My pdoc's office has an after hours emergency line. Does yours?
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Old 10-13-2021, 02:02 PM   #16
Miss Laura
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

We can't do that here we need to be referred. We can go to A&E (ER) and see but I live 1 hour away from there. I'm with my Sister tonight. I'm trying to tell her but can't find the words. I can call NHS24 or 111 and ask for mental health support. But not wanting to do that as I'm with my Suster who doesn't know a thing

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Old 10-14-2021, 09:51 PM   #17
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Unhappy Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

Tell your sister and make that call.
own up to it, she needs to know.
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Old Yesterday, 02:04 PM   #18
Miss Laura
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

I can't sat the words... "I'm suicidal"

I can't say "I want to die"

I can't say "I feel unsafe especially outside"

I want to stop writing my funeral plans etc but I'm committed to it now

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Old Yesterday, 02:57 PM   #19
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

I don't know what to say but nobody has answered you and I feel bad for that. I think you need to get help. Can you write a note that you need help and give it to you sister or to someone else who can get you help? Try to find something to do besides writing funeral plans; that is only going to make you feel worse and is probably dangerous.

Please seek help immediately. You are in an urgent situation.
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Old Yesterday, 03:01 PM   #20
Miss Laura
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Default Re: I'm suicidal and not doing great

My nurse called today and said I'm not in immediate danger. Says I don't think you will do anything silly over the weekend I'll call you on Monday. I'm seeing her in person on Friday.

I have numbers to call if I get worse. I'm at my Dad's tomorrow afternoon for the weekend

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