[Mountaindewed]

I see her tomorrow and I need to be honest about the food and med situations since they are a bit out of control and are affecting me. But I’m worried she’ll send me IP. Most likely for the med thing vs the food thing. I’m not S or SH. But I’m just worried. I don’t think she has my doctors number and I’m not sure how easy it will be for her to get it. Unless she says something like if you don’t give me his number we can’t work anymore. I do believe this behavior doesn’t fall into the confidentiality category and she can tell whoever she wants to.

Honestly I’m just confused about what to tell her and what not to. Not to mention I’ve lost a significant amount of weight since our last session.

[Victoria'smom]

Depending on your state at least for the food stuff. It goes under not being able to take care of your basic needs. Just talk to your T and see where she falls on what your rules are in your new state. I've had to agree to create a list and eat nutritional safety food several times.

Other pdocs have said if I outright refuse to take my medication for more then two days and I can't get in to pdoc or t then hospitalize me. I don't know if they can actually hospitalize me but I think they can.

Best thing to do is to create a psych directive file. Start coming up with solutions like pill packs, only getting a weeks medication (or less at a time) Make sure she knows it's a long standing issue not an escalation issue unless it is escalating. What are some of the things you can do to make sure your eating enough? I'm required to eat 2 "meals" a day but I can substitute meals with high protein drinks because that I can close my eyes, count to ten and chug. I also have these single serving trays that I do meal prep with. I'm trying to make my serving size realistic for an adult.

Come in with your problem and a couple of solutions you are really willing to try. You may get IP or she may give you more time, She may have solutions you haven't thought about.

[Mountaindewed]

I almost got put IP when I was 12 pounds heavier. But because I was drinking water I managed with just going to IOP. The thing is I want to lose weight. And I can lose 25 pounds and still be ok. I’m not underweight. I’m still considered overweight.

I eat when I get hungry. Lately I haven’t felt the physical affects of going a long time without eating. Nothing actually sounds good to me. I’ll sometimes drink Body Armour or Bai water which I doubt is healthy but it’s has vitamins and electrolytes and stuff in it and is filling. The only high protein drinks I’ve had are weight loss shakes and stuff used for post workouts. Ive never tried ensure or anything.

I haven’t taken too much meds in awhile except for the occasional extra Valium. I just moved all my meds to at night and I cut down on a couple that were causing issues.

I don’t know. I know I’m just making excuses but I really do want to lose more weight and I seem to have this sudden aversion and fear of food except for a few things.

[bizi]

I am sorry it is so hard for you right now.It sounds like you have an eating disorder of sorts. perhaps you could just bring it up in your therapy session.
take care of yourself! food is good for you.
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

I'm overweight too and still have an eating disorder. But because of having it for so long my bloods all messed up I lack every vitamin they test for. I can't rely on my body to tell me when it's hungry. Just go in with what you can genuinely try to do. I have a limit like my meds I can only miss x meals before having to get help. I have this app on my phone that reminds me to eat And keeps track of what I eat.

[Soupe du jour]

I suppose if they think you are a potential harm to yourself or others, they can demand you go IP. If you are, then shouldn't you really go IP? If you are truly abusing (something), what makes you certain that you will suddenly stop doing so? Perhaps if you truly show an effort to stop the abuse/misuse you would be fine. However, it sounds like your recent attempts haven't been. Giving pills to your mom and then suddenly having some again isn't a serious attempt to stop. Does your mom suddenly return them to you? Do you hoard and hide supplies? Such behavior as the latter is classic addict behavior. As for the former, is your mom serious about helping you? Or does your mom truly know the extent of your issue? If no, to the latter, you need to fully and truthfully communicate the issue to her.

Some therapists I had were tolerant to my past abuse of alcohol/meds or medication non-compliance. However, I had a couple that quit me when I didn't get the help they suggested. After all, if you aren't going to try to get better, at all, as they direct, then what really is their role? Just someone to vent to or stare at at appointments?

[Fuzzybear]

If you have an aversion to, and fear of food maybe you have an ED?

[Mountaindewed]

Well she didn’t put me IP or IOP. But she is transferring me to someone else. ****. I really liked her.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Well she didn’t put me IP or IOP. But she is transferring me to someone else. ****. I really liked her.

But why did she transfer you to someone else?
------------------------

Never mind, I just read your check-in post. Maybe I'm wrong, but what your therapist did sounds like a cop-out to me. I mean, the trans thing is more complex than I had expected?

Seems like she could expand her knowledge if she really wanted to.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

But why did she transfer you to someone else?
------------------------

Never mind, I just read your check-in post. Maybe I'm wrong, but what your therapist did sounds like a cop-out to me. I mean, the trans thing is more complex than I had expected?

Seems like she could expand her knowledge if she really wanted to.

She said she’s not qualified to work with people with EDs and the trans thing is a bit more complicated then she first realized. She doesn’t want me to not get what I need out of therapy because she doesn’t have experience in those areas.

Which is what I was told by 2 other therapists before.

It’s more the ED thing I think then the trans thing. That’s why my transference T didn’t want to continue to work with me if I were staying and not moving. I was at a place for 8 years and the therapists were all the same and didn’t specialize in anything. I didn’t even know specialty therapists existed until 2018. I thought it was just child and adult therapists.

[Victoria'smom]

As much as it sucks ED patients are much higher needs. If something were to happen she'd be asked why she didn't refer you. It sucks and I hate it for you but she's trying to keep you safe. Does your pdoc know you may have an eating disorder? It may be best to try to see a nutritionist at least 1x that deals with ED's.

[Mountaindewed]

Like right now I’ve barely eaten today but it’s because I just don’t feel good. I did another at home UTI test. The one I did yesterday or the day before was ok. This one I just did is showing I have another one. I know I have a lot of health anxiety but sometimes things aren’t just restricting food. On my 700-900 calorie days it’s because I’m not feeling good. Not restriction. And I told her that. I see my primary doctor on Thursday and I hope she does some lab work. I’m nervous about my gynecologist doing an internal exam, but that might help as well.

I mean, I know it’s mostly just restriction but sometimes I just really don’t feel good.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry for what you're going through! Please Do not give up! So Sorry that you're getting transfered but at least she was Honest to you and i think that is good. Hopefully your new therapist will be good and he/she will be able to help. i think you did good by being honest about what you are going through. i hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Please do keep us updated on your situation if you want if possible Stay Safe. Stay Strong. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Mountaindewed, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

She said she’s not qualified to work with people with EDs and the trans thing is a bit more complicated then she first realized. She doesn’t want me to not get what I need out of therapy because she doesn’t have experience in those areas.

Which is what I was told by 2 other therapists before.

It’s more the ED thing I think then the trans thing. That’s why my transference T didn’t want to continue to work with me if I were staying and not moving. I was at a place for 8 years and the therapists were all the same and didn’t specialize in anything. I didn’t even know specialty therapists existed until 2018. I thought it was just child and adult therapists.

So basically, what the therapist is saying is, "I don't want to bother educating myself about your disorder." At least, that's what I hear. Pisses me off.

[HALLIEBETH87]

It’s easy to get mad but I can tell you she’s not wrong. Sure she could educate herself about something but it’s not the same as actually having experience and I can tell you this is about safety. It’s something that needs specialization. Where I work they would refer you to a specialist too. And besides-staying with a client that you do not feel trained in ways that actually help is dangerous for both t and client .

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I had a therapist who was not experienced with bipolar. She tried to learn as we went. She was very nice and sweet and she tried hard but she just didn't know how to help me. If something came up we'd talk about it and then we'd wait for her to read about it and talk more at the next session by which time things often had changed. Honestly we mostly talked about our cats. It was an expensive way to do that.


When she left and referred me on I was shocked what it was like when my therapist was experienced with bipolar. He knew what to say and do and I started to really learn my illnesses.


She should have referred me a long time before she left and I'm so glad that the change did happen.

FWIW I've been with this therapist for 15 years now.

[Mountaindewed]

I do understand where she’s coming from. My main problem is that I’ll be on this waiting list for who knows how long and we’ll develop a client therapist relationship, not transference but just like a therapeutic relationship and then when I do have to switch it will be very hard the way it was when I switched therapists in February. I was just a mess emotionally for 4 months and I’m still not totally right about things. But I know video sessions were a big part and not getting to say goodbye in person was really tough for me.

But I get where she’s coming from and I’m not really taking it personally, It’s just that I liked her and it’s frustrating to be switched from person to person because they are not experienced in the things I need.

I feel like when you call to set up an appointment with a therapist they should ask a lot more questions so they can find the right fit for you so this doesn’t keep happening. At my last place intake didn’t even ask what my diagnosis was. So I didn’t know my autism was that huge of a deal until I was with a therapist who wasn’t qualified.

I do also wonder if she could possibly be transphobic and just agrees to disagree. She had absolutely no clue what top surgery was. I know a few people who like me and are really nice but are also transphobic as well. I have no clue though. She just said she didn’t know anything about it and that it was more complex then she first thought. But Who knows what that means

[Mountaindewed]

I just got an email from her. She says that the therapist will be able to see me in September. What a **** show this has become. Who knows what kind of state I’ll be in mentally or physically at that time. I have read that hysterectomies are much harder to recover from both mentally and physically then with top surgery. I got bad post op depression with both my surgeries and it was pretty rough physically as well. From what I read post op depression for trans men who get hysterectomies can last for like 2 months. September is also right around the time my SAD starts too. Switching will be pretty tough in general but especially if I’ve just had surgery. Yet maybe the surgery will be after the switch. Although my doctor made it seem like things would move quickly.

What’s that thing about history repeating itself…

[Victoria'smom]

Is she seeing you until you change over?

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Is she seeing you until you change over?

Yes she will. I have 3 sessions with her until Labor Day.