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Default Jul 22, 2021 at 08:46 AM
  #1
As a person with bipolar, what qualities do you look for in a friend?

Also, how does your bipolar impact sustaining friendships?

Do you think you're a ''good friend''?


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Default Jul 22, 2021 at 09:00 AM
  #2
I look for a willingness to be around - but also flexibility in that is good.

Though I am pretty open about the diagnosis, I don't tend to unload when I'm feeling bad so it doesn't really impact friendships.

Actually, I feel I'm not a good friend because I so often disappear.

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Default Jul 22, 2021 at 09:08 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daonnachd View Post
I look for a willingness to be around - but also flexibility in that is good.

Though I am pretty open about the diagnosis, I don't tend to unload when I'm feeling bad so it doesn't really impact friendships.

Actually, I feel I'm not a good friend because I so often disappear.
I understand about disappearing, I do that sometimes too.

Good answer, thanks D

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Default Jul 22, 2021 at 09:37 AM
  #4
My friends who are still with me (for 20 years) are trustworthy, supportive and fun to be with. I think I'm a good friend because I'm also reliable and I'd gladly cheer them up when they're down. What I'm having difficulties with because of BD is making new friends. My close friends are already used to my mood swings, but it's hard for new people to understand.

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Default Jul 22, 2021 at 09:55 AM
  #5
1: I look for people who are patient, caring and understanding. people that would have no problem, for example, accepting a moodswing for just that, a moodswing, and not the end of the friendship

good listener, and someone who won't tell the world things you tell them (like between you and this friend)

2:. I actually suck at keeping friendships. a month?. a few weekss?

3:. I don't think I am a good friend. I have a lot of issues, and a lot of people arn't ready for that. also, I don't really have that much to offer in terms of life experiences, so conversations can easily dry out if I can't relate to what's being said. I've always said that people don't want to be friends with someone like me, because it's the same everyday... eat, ache, do nothing.

I try to be understanding and none judgemental, but a lot of the time it isn't enough to hold on to a friendship.. people want more.
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Default Jul 22, 2021 at 11:08 AM
  #6
i don't have bipolar but i am not sure what qualities i am looking for in a friendship. i can imagine a relationship but i struggle a bit with friends. Perhaps smart and kind would be enough. i am not sure. i am not really sure if i would be a good friend either tbh. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @Fuzzybear, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Default Jul 22, 2021 at 12:48 PM
  #7
My close friends are women I grew up with. So our friendships are over 50 years old


These friends are more like family...but better.

I do think I'm a good friend. I hope I am. I'm reliable and I enjoy listening to my friends.

I haven't made any "new" friends in years. I don't see it happening, really.

This is a helpful thread, Fuzzy

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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 03:37 PM
  #8
Someone who is tolerant of my ups and downs, kind, has a good sense of humor, and a good conversationalist. I think I am a good friend, but I tend to give and give and give and people have taken advantage of that. If the friendship is going south, I tend to keep my feelings bottled up inside until I suddenly explode. So, I guess I end friendships too dramatically and far past their expiration date.
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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 04:55 PM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
As a person with bipolar, what qualities do you look for in a friend?

Also, how does your bipolar impact sustaining friendships?

Do you think you're a ''good friend''?


Someone who believes in psychiatry and doesn’t put down medication or doctors. Also someone who doesn’t offer advice for something they know nothing about.
At this point in my life I don’t have the energy to sustain friendships, I have a few friends, that’s it.
I don’t know what I have to offer right now, my life is very consumed by work and outside of work I have many demands on my time. It would have to be a church friend or a sobriety friend .
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Default Jul 23, 2021 at 09:43 PM
  #10
In any relationship, I always look for kindness first, then humor. A sense of humor makes life so much better. I think I'm a good friend, mainly because I try to listen and not judge.
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Default Jul 28, 2021 at 05:13 PM
  #11
My best friends have to get used to periodic moodiness and pleas for advice between therapy visits. I know I must wear them out.

My friends must be funny and loyal, empathetic, and good listeners.
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Smile Jul 28, 2021 at 10:28 PM
  #12
My sister and I are close.
I have few friends, melissa here in lafayette.
one on-line friend I am close to but she lives

way far away but we send emails to each other every day.
I have friendly people that are like grandparents,
my clients.
So I am not lonely, it is just so hard making new friends.

I don't think I am a very good friend. I am not
reliable, my friend melissa lost her son to Kratum
over dose. I missed the services and backed out
of a wedding celebration because of anxiety.

I offered to pay for our meals she declined but
was grateful for the offer.
I am too intense of a listener, it scares people

away from me.
There is now a cubby hole at sandras the health

food store that I frequent everyday. So I have
made some acquaintances. one guy his name is

bill. We are friends on facebook and talk, well he
does most of the talking. Which I like because I
have a terrible memory to remember things like

names places I have visited. I am not a good
conversationalist. I work with the elderly and

they tell me the same stories and are easy to talk to.
people my own age, not so much.
bizi

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Default Jul 29, 2021 at 08:41 AM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by bizi View Post
My sister and I are close.
I have few friends, melissa here in lafayette.
one on-line friend I am close to but she lives

way far away but we send emails to each other every day.
I have friendly people that are like grandparents,
my clients.
So I am not lonely, it is just so hard making new friends.

I don't think I am a very good friend. I am not
reliable, my friend melissa lost her son to Kratum
over dose. I missed the services and backed out
of a wedding celebration because of anxiety.

I offered to pay for our meals she declined but
was grateful for the offer.
I am too intense of a listener, it scares people

away from me.
There is now a cubby hole at sandras the health

food store that I frequent everyday. So I have
made some acquaintances. one guy his name is

bill. We are friends on facebook and talk, well he
does most of the talking. Which I like because I
have a terrible memory to remember things like

names places I have visited. I am not a good
conversationalist. I work with the elderly and

they tell me the same stories and are easy to talk to.
people my own age, not so much.
bizi
Thanks Bizi and all for the replies.

My friends think I'm a good friend, I try to be...

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Default Jul 29, 2021 at 08:42 AM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ursula Shackleton View Post
In any relationship, I always look for kindness first, then humor. A sense of humor makes life so much better. I think I'm a good friend, mainly because I try to listen and not judge.
I also try to listen and not judge

I agree about a sense of humour

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Default Jul 29, 2021 at 08:43 AM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by imaginethat View Post
My best friends have to get used to periodic moodiness and pleas for advice between therapy visits. I know I must wear them out.

My friends must be funny and loyal, empathetic, and good listeners.
I agree, my friends must be loyal, funny, empathetic and good listeners

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