Therapist getting tired of me

why98 · Jul 25, 2021 at 12:12 PM

I've been seeing this therapist for a few years. I swear he's getting tired of me. I haven been dealing with anxiety and mania, we talk about stuff to do to help me survive, and the anxiety is still there. The mania is getting better.

I'm on clonazepam for anxiety and it doesn't seem to be working, but I don't want to take more because of the effects on your memory.

It seems like he gets tired of me not progressing more. I have made a little progress. It's very slow though.

How long have you stayed with a therapist? Did you ever sense that the person was getting tired of dealing with you?

Victoria'smom · Jul 26, 2021 at 05:30 PM

Longest I was with the same therapist was 3 years. I didn't make a lot of progress because I wouldn't take the meds that helped. Plus I didn't realize some of my symptoms. It took a bunch more Dr's before I had the true label and meds I needed. I'm treated at high risk so very few therapists want to work with me and the ones that do stick with me do get sick of my issues. I finally have a pdoc that I trust and reads my therapy notes. Maybe something else can help your anxiety. Also my paranoia shows up as anxiety. So if you have extreme anxiety make sure it's actually anxiety. For me a second AP made my "anxiety" to a manageable level. If you aren't getting anywhere and you feel like your trying everything look into different meds.

why98 · Jul 26, 2021 at 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Longest I was with the same therapist was 3 years. I didn't make a lot of progress because I wouldn't take the meds that helped. Plus I didn't realize some of my symptoms. It took a bunch more Dr's before I had the true label and meds I needed. I'm treated at high risk so very few therapists want to work with me and the ones that do stick with me do get sick of my issues. I finally have a pdoc that I trust and reads my therapy notes. Maybe something else can help your anxiety. Also my paranoia shows up as anxiety. So if you have extreme anxiety make sure it's actually anxiety. For me a second AP made my "anxiety" to a manageable level. If you aren't getting anywhere and you feel like your trying everything look into different meds.

I'm going to talk to my pdoc about the extreme anxiety because it's driving me and everyone around me nuts. I also decided to start meditating regularly. Hopefully that will help. And this time I plan to follow through with it. In the past, I put it on my calendar with an alarm but ignored the alarm.

*Beth* · Jul 26, 2021 at 07:39 PM

Hi why98, welcome to the forum

The longest I've been with a therapist is 6 years. I've been with my current therapist for about 2 1/2 years. I don't think the therapist I saw for 6 years was tired of me. My current T is very pleased with the progress I've made...in her opinion. I don't think I'm doing as wonderfully well as she thinks I am. I mean, I do see some positive changes. I just wish I felt more confident that they'll stick.

Would you be willing to discuss how you feel with your therapist?

Bipolarchic14 · Jul 26, 2021 at 09:10 PM

I am going on 8 years with my therapist. Progress was very slow. I finally agreed to go on lithium and an anxiety med along with two blood pressure meds and one for diabetes. I am actually doing really well mentally aside from the vertigo. I say this because I want you to know hope exists. At times I do think my therapist is sick of me. This concerns me less now than in the past. At one point I was way too attached. You are not alone though. You could talk to your therapist about this. I personally didn’t. I recognized it was normal but still worked to detach as I did not like the dependency. In regards to the anxiety, honestly it sucks but the best thing is really to go out and do what makes you anxious. Seriously. I find that when I don’t fight it I feel trapped. I don’t always succeed at what I go to do, but it’s better than not trying at all.

why98 · Jul 26, 2021 at 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Hi why98, welcome to the forum

The longest I've been with a therapist is 6 years. I've been with my current therapist for about 2 1/2 years. I don't think the therapist I saw for 6 years was tired of me. My current T is very pleased with the progress I've made...in her opinion. I don't think I'm doing as wonderfully well as she thinks I am. I mean, I do see some positive changes. I just wish I felt more confident that they'll stick.

Would you be willing to discuss how you feel with your therapist?

That's probably the best thing to do. Be honest and not torture myself with worry

. I'm sure I'm being paranoid.

why98 · Jul 26, 2021 at 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

I am going on 8 years with my therapist. Progress was very slow. I finally agreed to go on lithium and an anxiety med along with two blood pressure meds and one for diabetes. I am actually doing really well mentally aside from the vertigo. I say this because I want you to know hope exists. At times I do think my therapist is sick of me. This concerns me less now than in the past. At one point I was way too attached. You are not alone though. You could talk to your therapist about this. I personally didn’t. I recognized it was normal but still worked to detach as I did not like the dependency. In regards to the anxiety, honestly it sucks but the best thing is really to go out and do what makes you anxious. Seriously. I find that when I don’t fight it I feel trapped. I don’t always succeed at what I go to do, but it’s better than not trying at all.

I like that, I don't always succeed at what I go to do, but it's better than not trying at all. That's so true. I have made some progress, not as quickly as I'd like. I might wait and see if this paranoid feeling changes and if it doesn't, talk to my therapist.

why98 · Jul 26, 2021 at 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Longest I was with the same therapist was 3 years. I didn't make a lot of progress because I wouldn't take the meds that helped. Plus I didn't realize some of my symptoms. It took a bunch more Dr's before I had the true label and meds I needed. I'm treated at high risk so very few therapists want to work with me and the ones that do stick with me do get sick of my issues. I finally have a pdoc that I trust and reads my therapy notes. Maybe something else can help your anxiety. Also my paranoia shows up as anxiety. So if you have extreme anxiety make sure it's actually anxiety. For me a second AP made my "anxiety" to a manageable level. If you aren't getting anywhere and you feel like your trying everything look into different meds.

I do have severe anxiety. Might be part of being bipolar or something else. I'm geting a new pdoc and plan to talk to her about it. All I know is that the anxiety is almost disabling.

FluffyDinosaur · Jul 27, 2021 at 01:20 AM

I feel like therapists shouldn't be so fixated on "progress." They should understand that sometimes the most important thing they can do is just offer support and stability. It's nice to make progress with issues, but if there's no progress for a while it does not mean the treatment has become useless, at least not to me. The most important thing for me is the knowledge that they're always there, pretty much the one thing I can rely on to be there when I do get worse again. At least I wish I could rely on it. That might offer more of a sense of stability than any med.

~Christina · Jul 27, 2021 at 01:47 AM

Welcome to PC. I hope you find the support and information that will be a huge help for you.

My T and I have been together almost 11 years now. He has saved my life more times that I can count.

Soupe du jour · Jul 27, 2021 at 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by why98

I've been seeing this therapist for a few years. I swear he's getting tired of me. I haven been dealing with anxiety and mania, we talk about stuff to do to help me survive, and the anxiety is still there. The mania is getting better.

I'm on clonazepam for anxiety and it doesn't seem to be working, but I don't want to take more because of the effects on your memory.

It seems like he gets tired of me not progressing more. I have made a little progress. It's very slow though.

How long have you stayed with a therapist? Did you ever sense that the person was getting tired of dealing with you?

Welcome, why98!

Have you thought about flat out asking your therapist if he is "sick of you"? Or maybe tell him that's something you're wondering? I know it may sound like a difficult thing to do, but I assure you that it would be an outstanding conversation starter. Truly! If too hard to voice, it could be written in an email to him. Better than a text. Text messaging is, in my view, not the place for such communications.

I've had many different therapists over the years. I think the longest for about four years. So you know, with that longest term therapist I had a somewhat similar conversation as referenced above. It only did good. My progress with her improved even more rapidly, afterwards. If it did the opposite, then that would have also been a good thing to know.

Fuzzybear · Jul 27, 2021 at 07:55 AM

Welcome, Why98. Thanks for asking this question!

Quote:

Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur

I feel like therapists shouldn't be so fixated on "progress." They should understand that sometimes the most important thing they can do is just offer support and stability. It's nice to make progress with issues, but if there's no progress for a while it does not mean the treatment has become useless, at least not to me. The most important thing for me is the knowledge that they're always there, pretty much the one thing I can rely on to be there when I do get worse again. At least I wish I could rely on it. That might offer more of a sense of stability than any med.

I completely agree with this. A therapist did get tired of me, deciding I was not making ''enough'' progress. This was a therapist who had encouraged attachment and transference.... not a good therapist. A reliable, competent therapist might offer more of a sense of stability than meds, I agree.

why98 · Jul 27, 2021 at 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur

I feel like therapists shouldn't be so fixated on "progress." They should understand that sometimes the most important thing they can do is just offer support and stability. It's nice to make progress with issues, but if there's no progress for a while it does not mean the treatment has become useless, at least not to me. The most important thing for me is the knowledge that they're always there, pretty much the one thing I can rely on to be there when I do get worse again. At least I wish I could rely on it. That might offer more of a sense of stability than any med.

That's right. I'd much rather drone on and on with a therapist than a friend

. Some friends get tired of that.

why98 · Jul 27, 2021 at 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Welcome, why98!

Have you thought about flat out asking your therapist if he is "sick of you"? Or maybe tell him that's something you're wondering? I know it may sound like a difficult thing to do, but I assure you that it would be an outstanding conversation starter. Truly! If too hard to voice, it could be written in an email to him. Better than a text. Text messaging is, in my view, not the place for such communications.

I've had many different therapists over the years. I think the longest for about four years. So you know, with that longest term therapist I had a somewhat similar conversation as referenced above. It only did good. My progress with her improved even more rapidly, afterwards. If it did the opposite, then that would have also been a good thing to know.

I haven't thought of that. I would have the conversation in person instead of text for sure.

Jul 30, 2021 at 01:26 PM

@Why98:

Welcome to the forum!

Hugs,

Jane.

*Beth* · Jul 30, 2021 at 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur

I feel like therapists shouldn't be so fixated on "progress." They should understand that sometimes the most important thing they can do is just offer support and stability. It's nice to make progress with issues, but if there's no progress for a while it does not mean the treatment has become useless, at least not to me. The most important thing for me is the knowledge that they're always there, pretty much the one thing I can rely on to be there when I do get worse again. At least I wish I could rely on it. That might offer more of a sense of stability than any med.

You put this very well. I agree.

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~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 12 12.7k hugs given	Jul 27, 2021 at 01:47 AM #10 Welcome to PC. I hope you find the support and information that will be a huge help for you. My T and I have been together almost 11 years now. He has saved my life more times that I can count. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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Anonymous41462 Guest Posts: n/a	Jul 30, 2021 at 01:26 PM #15 @Why98: Welcome to the forum! Hugs, Jane.
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