[Moose72]

It's only 6:36 right now. I feel like it's 8:36 and time for night meds. Oh well. Been a long day it seems. Tomorrow, pdoc is calling me at 2-something to check on me after I talked with her last Friday. At least she sent in my prescription for Seroquel 300's finally. I don't really know what went down with that except that the left hand was blaming the right hand and vise versa.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I have never seen a library with a cafe. That is amazing!

I’ve seen better library cafes then this one but not with these good of prices. The grilled cheese sandwich from the other one was also pretty good.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

When I was in college my roommate was my very best friend. I'd never had that kind of friendship before and it was great. After I graduated and moved 2 states away we kept our friendship up with visits and lots of time chatting on AOL AIM. Then I moved back a few hours from her, she had a baby, my bipolar was really bad and things started to get stressful.

One day she came to my house essentially uninvited with a letter stating everything she thought I was doing wrong in handling my life and that I was not who I said I was and a lot of faith based things. She told me one of my friends only put up with me because he felt sorry for me. It was really awful and it came when I was suicidal. When confronted about that a few months later she said it was a risk she had to take. So risking my life was ok.

Anyway, time passed and I considered things and eventually I cut things off. I did not do it in a way I would call mature now (with a long time to grow up and learn about life) And it bothered me. So after many therapist sessions about this I mailed her a letter yesterday saying I was sorry for my part in handling the end of our relationship. It was worded better than that though.

And now I'm nervous about what happens next. Either she reads it and sees it for what it is, she sees it and thinks bad things, she wants to talk more or not, etc. I don't want a new relationship with her. I know she acted out of what she felt was right, not malice, but I don't want to be hurt again.

The waiting is going to be hard. My therapist says if 6 weeks pass and I've not heard I won't. We'll see.

Im sorry that someone treated you that way. Life and relationship with others can often be such a messy thing to sort through for anyone but the way she acted was ugly.. You were dealing with alot.

I think its actually kind of you to write that letter. I would be nervous about any kind of response. But I am guessing that the letter is going to be helpful emotionally for you regardless of her response or no response..

I hope that she responds and she has found kindness and empathy.

I know that the stigma of mental illness is slowly decreasing, I wish it would move faster though.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I feel more and more comfortable at aqua fitness classes. This morning the instructor asked me how to sign good morning. So more and more of the ladies know I’m deaf. To me that’s a good thing. It means if I don’t see them talking they know I’m not ignoring them but not hearing them. The thing about being deaf is that like MI it’s largely an invisible disability. And people who don’t know I’m deaf think I’m being rude and ignoring them. Can’t begin to count the number of times someone formed bad thoughts about me because I didn’t hear them then if/when they found out they were embarrassed. I’ve found it best to be upfront. But the aqua fitness classes are a bunch of nice people. This is week three and despite eating the same, going to classes 4-5 days a week I’ve lost not an once! !! But today I did notice that I’m getting more flexible!

That is so Great !!! I'm glad that people are understanding.. yes invisible things can make our struggles much more difficult.

One thing to keep in mind muscle weighs more than fat so even if your not seeing the numbers drop it doesn't mean your not losing your just replacing with muscle.. I'd say just see how your clothes are fitting. I can't look at numbers on a scale as that is a trigger, But if my clothes are fitting better / nicer than its a good thing.

Oh I wish I had access to a pool. Aqua exercise in so much better for Fibro and PsA..

Enjoy

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I don't know what's the matter with me, I've just been feeling down. Getting used to my new apartment is taking me a bit longer than I'd prefer. Everything is in its place, I just can't quite shake the feeling that things are backwards. Sounds weird, I know, but the new apartment is the same floor plan as the previous apartment, only backwards...as in, opposite. It's messing with my mind a bit.

My pdoc leaving so suddenly still has me floored. And my daughter is in New York as of today; she'll be living there to go to grad school. Of course, she's still not communicating with me...it's been 2 1/2 years. I don't know; that's probably a big reason for feeling down.

I think it will take sometime to get use to the new place. Try not to overthink that bit. You also are dealing with the stress of your cat now on Insulin..

My Pdoc mentally had already left so our last appt which was zoom and honestly I would have preferred I just got a call saying he was gone and I was getting set up with someone else.. But I did , well still do feel abandoned.. 11 years and Poof gone..

I do hope you get some kind of letter from her. But i wouldnt hold my breath as she probably wasnt allowed to have patient info to send a letter even if it was just a form letter of some sort. Its such a shame that she up and left but if something ruptured between her and the boss for her sake it was healthy to leave... Sucks for you and her other patients though.

I'm sorry about your Daughter.. Maybe one day a relationship can be reformed

[~Christina]

I am really struggling.

My Fibro is just awful.. yesterday woke up in tears as my hands are just raging pain. Couldnt even hold my phone. As the day progressed I was able to do a small amount of typing.. Its also getting hard to take a deep breath due to the pain in my ribs.. Fibro effects the entire body.. This kind of hand and difficulty breathing due to pain ??? Ugh so not good, it leads me to a very dark place.

Steve has been not feeling well since his middle and youngest son left.. He did alot of running around with them, but hes still sleeping 12+ hours a day, Yesterday around 18 hours straight. He said he really doesnt have an specific feelings of illness. He says " he doesnt feel good" So I am on high alert.

Sleep ? Meh its not worth complaining about, its just my normal garbage.

This heat wave.. temps of 98+ and heat index 109+ is sucking the life out of me. I am going to burst into flames and will soon be just a pile of ash..

Is anyone else dealing with stores just plain being out of some item lately? My just grocery store the other days was sold out of so many meat items and canned goods. which typically has never been an issue. Today at Hellmart I needed to pick up a few items and they were out of both there brand Peanut butter and a cereal we like, No brand or store brand and lots of empty shelves. Even the TP aisle is looking slim.. Are people out buying stuff up in fear of another lock down?????

We have our trip to Florida mostly planned out.. We totally forgot that it will be Labor day weekend .. UGH !!!!!!!!!!! The traffic is going to be awful. I really wish we didn't have to go. But Steve will not miss another birthday of his granddaughter.

Anyway enough of my complaints, Never helps me to yak about them. It just is what it is... I hope everyone is doing well and hugs to anyone in need

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I am really struggling.

My Fibro is just awful.. yesterday woke up in tears as my hands are just raging pain. Couldnt even hold my phone. As the day progressed I was able to do a small amount of typing.. Its also getting hard to take a deep breath due to the pain in my ribs.. Fibro effects the entire body.. This kind of hand and difficulty breathing due to pain ??? Ugh so not good, it leads me to a very dark place.


Is anyone else dealing with stores just plain being out of some item lately? My just grocery store the other days was sold out of so many meat items and canned goods. which typically has never been an issue. Today at Hellmart I needed to pick up a few items and they were out of both there brand Peanut butter and a cereal we like, No brand or store brand and lots of empty shelves. Even the TP aisle is looking slim.. Are people out buying stuff up in fear of another lock down?????

I'm so sorry the pain is so bad. I wish there was help for it.

Our Hellmart is out of lots of stuff too. When we did pickup the other day my mom asked if it is people buying stuff up again and they told her that it's a problem getting stuff from the warehouses to stores because of lack of drivers. Ours is out of really weird stuff, like oatmeal, milk and goldfish crackers. I forget what else we couldn't get but it was pretty random.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I am really struggling.

My Fibro is just awful.. yesterday woke up in tears as my hands are just raging pain. Couldnt even hold my phone. As the day progressed I was able to do a small amount of typing.. Its also getting hard to take a deep breath due to the pain in my ribs.. Fibro effects the entire body.. This kind of hand and difficulty breathing due to pain ??? Ugh so not good, it leads me to a very dark place.

Steve has been not feeling well since his middle and youngest son left.. He did alot of running around with them, but hes still sleeping 12+ hours a day, Yesterday around 18 hours straight. He said he really doesnt have an specific feelings of illness. He says " he doesnt feel good" So I am on high alert.

Sleep ? Meh its not worth complaining about, its just my normal garbage.

This heat wave.. temps of 98+ and heat index 109+ is sucking the life out of me. I am going to burst into flames and will soon be just a pile of ash..

Is anyone else dealing with stores just plain being out of some item lately? My just grocery store the other days was sold out of so many meat items and canned goods. which typically has never been an issue. Today at Hellmart I needed to pick up a few items and they were out of both there brand Peanut butter and a cereal we like, No brand or store brand and lots of empty shelves. Even the TP aisle is looking slim.. Are people out buying stuff up in fear of another lock down?????

We have our trip to Florida mostly planned out.. We totally forgot that it will be Labor day weekend .. UGH !!!!!!!!!!! The traffic is going to be awful. I really wish we didn't have to go. But Steve will not miss another birthday of his granddaughter.

Anyway enough of my complaints, Never helps me to yak about them. It just is what it is... I hope everyone is doing well and hugs to anyone in need

I’m so sorry about the pain that absolutely sucks. I wish I could make it better. I also wish there was a pool near you, you would love the small pool it’s warmer than the large pool and only 4-5 feet deep.

I so wish you didn’t have to go to Florida it takes so much out of you.

I waved my unicorn horn and wand around and sent purple healing rays your way.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I'm so sorry the pain is so bad. I wish there was help for it.

Our Hellmart is out of lots of stuff too. When we did pickup the other day my mom asked if it is people buying stuff up again and they told her that it's a problem getting stuff from the warehouses to stores because of lack of drivers. Ours is out of really weird stuff, like oatmeal, milk and goldfish crackers. I forget what else we couldn't get but it was pretty random.

Thank you

Well I feel better knowing that its likely an issue of that lack of drivers and not another case of mass hoarding. Honestly I think my brain will just melt if we have another lock down like before. I don't really see that happening again as our economy is not even close to back to pre covid levels..

Oh the stress!!! Meh !

[bizi]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I'm so excited! In ten days, on Saturday, August 21st, i turn 55 and qualify for an active seniors center in my city! I've applied for membership and paid and registered for a spaghetti-and-meatball lunch on Monday, August 23rd (they are closed on weekends). They might be able to give me a tour also.

Yay! New people! A new place to go! Stuff to do in the daytime! I can't wait!

The form asked if i had a disability THEY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. I didn't feel they SHOULD KNOW ABOUT my bipolar as i am very private about it so i didn't indicate it. Later in the form the question came up again in questions-for-funding-purposes and i indicated that i had a disability but was not asked to specify. Let me be a mystery to them, it is none of their business.

This struck a cord. my dentist office asked if I was bipolar on one of their My echart on line medical history. It is none of their damn business.
bizi

I'm sorry I can't go back and respond to ppl right now. I basically had a complete breakdown yesterday. I lowered my zyprexa so I can lose weight. That was 3 months ago. I've been trying to deal with insurance issues for 4 business days! I was up for 28 hours. I've probably spent 12 hours trying to get it figured out. I couldn't take it anymore and finally took a 5 mgs to try and get more sleep.

Well I saw my therapist today. I was telling him how I was just a bundle of nerves and I absolutely couldn't calm down yesterday. It's a long story but when I was 19 I joined an organization. I was sexually, emotionally, spiritually extremely abused there. I'm not the only one. Anyway in 2011 I had a complete psychotic break. I have no memory for about 10 days. It was over me being abused in this organization and a website that was trying to expose them. I ended up in the hospital and was diagnosed with BP 1 and severe PTSD. Ppl didn't believe me about this abuse that goes on there. I have been dismissed by everyone! Ppl just can't believe that this would go on in this organization. Anyway my therapist believes me and just 2 days ago they hired a new therapist. Well she was telling my therapist how sick this organization is. He wanted to know about it bc I've told him a little about it. I can't believe that just 2 days ago they hired this woman!

Today I just couldn't stop crying when he got really calm and said I believe you.

It was such a relief! I couldn't stop crying.

I'm not going to do trauma work right now. I'm trying to lose weight and I think I will get off track. He said when I'm ready he will do it with me.

I'm so completely overwhelmed with my son, my mental illness, my sisters death. Just completely overwhelmed. I am going to see about going on perphenazine. I can't increase the zyprexa again. I absolutely can't lose weight at a higher dose.

I just feel like a huge weight has been lifted. It's funny but I didn't really want to work with him bc we have different political views. But hes one of the best therapists I've ever had. I hadn't cried in like 2 years. He even did a grounding exercise to get me back in the present. Tonight I'm going watch titanic, it always makes me cry and have a nutritious meal.

I hope everyone is having a good day.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I’m so sorry about the pain that absolutely sucks. I wish I could make it better. I also wish there was a pool near you, you would love the small pool it’s warmer than the large pool and only 4-5 feet deep.

I so wish you didn’t have to go to Florida it takes so much out of you.

I waved my unicorn horn and wand around and sent purple healing rays your way.

Thanks Nammu

There use to be a pool at one of the parks not to far away, but it was half water and half chlorine I just couldnt breath but they closed it and put in a " splash pad" there for kids instead.

I'm holding out hope that this damn trip is going to be easier altho still a challenge.

Yes your wand and purple rays always seem to help

[Nammu]

My daughter just called. My granddaughter is sick 😷. Hope it’s just something insignificant, she’s 4 and too young for the vaccine. My daughter is a social worker and just got the news today to work from home. My town is one of the worse hot spots in the tri-county region. According to the paper today their were 54 breakthrough deaths state wide. This has me worrying for my mum again. I hate this covid pandemic and all the selfish people who won’t take precautions.

Originally Posted by Nammu

My daughter just called. My granddaughter is sick 😷. Hope it’s just something insignificant, she’s 4 and too young for the vaccine. My daughter is a social worker and just got the news today to work from home. My town is one of the worse hot spots in the tri-county region. According to the paper today their were 54 breakthrough deaths state wide. This has me worrying for my mum again. I hate this covid pandemic and all the selfish people who won’t take precautions.

I'm sorry, they are just complete IDIOTS that wont get vaccinated. It really makes me mad. My sons group home might go on lockdown again. That means they cant leave. So we can only do visits there. There's no where to visit so my son just sits in my car.

I hope its nothing serious and your granddaughter is ok.

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm so sorry about your sister. Losing a sibling seemed like a very specific, aching type of grief to me.

My cat, Sidney, was recently diagnosed with diabetes. She's 10 or 11 years old. She was initially put on 2 units of insulin, but during her "glucose curve" at the vet her sugar level dropped way too low. So now she's on 1 unit, but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. I called the vet this morning and am waiting for her to return my call.

Do you use any coupon cards to pay for Tiger's insulin? I've found a couple online, but don't know if they're legit. I'm very worried about the $300+ a month for insulin. I'm glad Tiger is doing better

I have a lot of experience with cats and diabetes my cat midnight developed it when he was 15. We tried everything to get him stabilized on insulin. In the end he kept having **** gland ruptures and other complications. I had to put him to sleep. He was my cat and he only liked me. He was a tuxedo cat that fit him perfectly. He was a huge gentleman lol. He was pretty wild too. I miss him so much.

Tiger started on cheaper insulin like 5 months ago. I can't spell the name. But yes he is a very expensive cat, lol. Hes on joint supplements, his diabetic food is 60 dollars, and his insulin. Hes my sons cat so the last thing we need is to lose him. I mean my son is completely bonded with him.

I've had tiger spend many days at the vet getting his blood sugar checked every hour. My vet gives me a discount bc he had to do that about 4 times. He has to go back next Wednesday to be monitored all day again. He does seem a lot better tho at this lower dose. Sometimes older cats develop a sensitivity to insulin. So that's why he lowered it.

I wish you luck concerning Sidney. I hope things get worked out and you have many more years with him.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Nammu

My daughter just called. My granddaughter is sick 😷. Hope it’s just something insignificant, she’s 4 and too young for the vaccine. My daughter is a social worker and just got the news today to work from home. My town is one of the worse hot spots in the tri-county region. According to the paper today their were 54 breakthrough deaths state wide. This has me worrying for my mum again. I hate this covid pandemic and all the selfish people who won’t take precautions.

I hope your little granddaughter will feel better soon. Perhaps it's something other than covid. In any case, more people in hard hit areas are getting vaccinated. I agree that the time for covid 19 to end is long overdue. Stay well!

[Soupe du jour]

I didn't sleep well last night, at the hotel where we're staying. At least I am still looking forward to the day exploring Vienna. Yesterday we first went straight to the Vienna central cemetery for a nice walk. We saw the graves of Beethoven, Brahms, Strauss, and Schubert. I hummed a bit of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy".

The area around our hotel is quite nice. Right in the thick of things.

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I didn't sleep well last night, at the hotel where we're staying. At least I am still looking forward to the day exploring Vienna. Yesterday we first went straight to the Vienna central cemetery for a nice walk. We saw the graves of Beethoven, Brahms, Strauss, and Schubert. I hummed a bit of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy".

The area around our hotel is quite nice. Right in the thick of things.

Sorry you didn't sleep well last night.

I'm glad you are having a good time though. You're very lucky to be able to travel. Enjoy it!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by rose1985

Sorry you didn't sleep well last night.

I'm glad you are having a good time though. You're very lucky to be able to travel. Enjoy it!

Thanks, rose1985. It's easy for my husband and me because Hubby is an EU country citizen and I'm his wife, we're both residents of that EU country, we are both fully vaccinated, and also where we're from (Czech Republic) has very very few covid cases right now. Soon to be green list covid country. [Not sure why it isn't already.] Masks are still required in public shops and grocery stores in Austria, but not outside and not in public areas of hotels, since all hotels check for either vaccination proof or negative test result within 48 hours check-in. Given all this, it does still feel freeing.

Today we will likely go to a museum and further explore the historic district.

I have been getting a lot of spam email lately (a lot more than usual)

many from services I don't even use (paypal, norton anti virus, a diffrent bank etc)

it's annoying

had to buy a new dvd player this week. the one I had finally packed up and stopped laying dvds.

new one's better though, I'm impressed with it..

have too at some point get a new debit card too- old one's about to expire