[Dsmisfits]

I was diagnosed with BI-Polar 2 a few years ago (I am 40 yes old). I have been married for 21 years and while my wife has endure a lot of **** from me she is still here. Last week I was super irritable and got pissed off at her obsession with her phone. Over the last two month she has expressed the desire to leave. In a recent argument she told me she hates having sex, doesn't even want to kiss me, and has no sexual desire. This is due to her feeling obligated to have sex. I am hypersexual most of the time and worse when I am head into a hyper manic state. After a lengthy conversation I understand her point. No she wants to stop doing anything for a undetermined amount of time till she has the desire. I am unsure of how to do that we have sex frequently and now just stop. I made the agreement to go on meds and therapy 2 a month, why I have stuck to for the last 1.5 years. Today, I came across an article that talks about women's lack of desire to have sex. There is a medication called Addyi which helps treat women's sexual desire. I bring this up and the first thing she says is hell no I am not taking any medication and I am always focused on sex because I brought this up as a potential option. I feel a little hurt because I have to take medication daily and she feels she doesn't. How do you folks handle hypersexuality? How often do you have or want sex a day, if at all?

[Victoria'smom]

Possible trigger:

self care 2+ time a day, to me they have different points. I have sex probably 2-3x a week. My husband is ready anytime and we work on that. I don't feel 2x a week is enough for us. When we're both manic it can be several times a day. He knows I use self care. Does your treatment team know you're symptoms are causing these problems?

Is your wife willing to go to couples therapy? Is she willing to get her own therapist to work through issues that she deals with around your illness

[Dsmisfits]

That's a great question. We tried to do couples therapy and it caused more issues then good. They told us to individually see therapy first. She went for about 5-6 months and stopped but I was still required to go, but ended up liking to go. Gave me an outlet to discuss my feelings and thoughts. She says it's not anything she needs help with and that I am the cause of the lack of her desire since I want sex all the time. I don't even express the amount of times I want sex when I am feeling good. So for me once a day is a compromise.

[*Beth*]

When I was "young middle age" I had affairs. In most ways I regret them; in some ways I was doing the best I could. Now? I realllly miss sex (I'm coming up on 59).

[Victoria'smom]

Does your treatment team know this is an issue?

[Moose72]

I'm lucky to have a FWB whose desire is comparable to mine. But I'm inpatient and it has been hard a few of the days here to be missing him.