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Old Yesterday, 04:36 PM   #681
Moose72
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I am having a panic attack because I feel like there are chemicals in me trying to kill me. I hate when this happens itís always so damn scary
I know how hard it is to pull out of something like this because you're thoroughly convinced it's true but think for a moment that it's not true- if you can. There likely aren't chemicals in you trying to kill you. It's just your brain gone "bad" for a while. Maybe a long while or maybe a short while. Can you at least see that it could not be true?
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Old Yesterday, 04:42 PM   #682
Blue_Bird
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
I know how hard it is to pull out of something like this because you're thoroughly convinced it's true but think for a moment that it's not true- if you can. There likely aren't chemicals in you trying to kill you. It's just your brain gone "bad" for a while. Maybe a long while or maybe a short while. Can you at least see that it could not be true?
I can, itís just that I can feel the chemicals in me poisoning me. Like itís physical feeling and it scares me. So how to do I convince myself itís not real when itís also a physical feeling that happens alongside the mental thought of Iím being poisoned, itís frustrating. I just want this to stop. It hasnít happened since like February of this year ,I donít know why itís suddenly happening again
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Old Yesterday, 07:57 PM   #683
Jennifer 1967
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

Iím in my hotel room enjoying my wine and watching cable after a nice float in the pool. I just took a bubble bath with lavender baby wash and lemon verbena soap from Trader Joeís. I think I need to do this once a quarter. I feel stress free and human again. Hallelujah!
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Old Yesterday, 07:59 PM   #684
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

I did it! I got myself off to aqua Zumba tonight. After two weeks of skipping I dragged myself out the door. Of course itís very nice out today and I can go and come with just my wrap on. Iím so Leary of using the changing room. Iím going to try my best to go tomorrow morning but Iíll have to go dressed and change there. I havenít done that yet. Iíll need to give myself a pep talk in the morning to get going.
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Old Yesterday, 08:00 PM   #685
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

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Iím in my hotel room enjoying my wine and watching cable after a nice float in the pool. I just took a bubble bath with lavender baby wash and lemon verbena soap from Trader Joeís. I think I need to do this once a quarter. I feel stress free and human again. Hallelujah!

Ahhhh....that sounds divine
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Old Yesterday, 08:35 PM   #686
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

I ate unhealthy southern comfort food tonight lol yum!!

I am doing better. No creepy crawlers feeling or numbness. Trying not to stress about school. Hard but Iím trying!!!!
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Old Yesterday, 08:40 PM   #687
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

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]]

CHRIS! THEY WERE AMAZING!

they were shredded chicken with a smokey flavor, onion, cilantro, sour cream and some special sauce they make. ben got a vegan black bean and corn taco and also a fish taco (just bc he knows i hate fish!) it was amazing. we never get time to do "stuff" instead of our weekend homework dates with coffee and cats in his apt. we also took flowers to his moms grave and cleaned it up. ive gone with him a few times to do it. i like to be supportive and i know what its like to lose a parent (my dad and his mom both from heart attacks at young ages).

im still suuuuuuuuuper stressed out but trying to make it.

Shadddddd up about real tacos !!! I'm just jealous LOL

Ben is lucky to have you in his life. the fact that visiting her grave really shows you what a good man he is. You know I love the guy!!
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Old Yesterday, 08:54 PM   #688
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

I'm staying in bed too long. I'm still sleeping well ( hope that stays) but I wake up in the AM and Ithen I'm just lying in bed with my mind wandering around. Need to get a handle on that I think.

In other news next week our temps are going back into the 80's NOOO Thank you ! In fact I told my News guy on Facebook that I do not approve, He said he will do better the following week .. LOL Hes a really nice funny guy and loves to interact with viewers. Well all my news people do !

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Old Yesterday, 09:06 PM   #689
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

My heart is absolutely broken. I had to put down my cat tonight. I don't know what to do. I'm so devasted.
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Old Yesterday, 09:11 PM   #690
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

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Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
I'm staying in bed too long. I'm still sleeping well ( hope that stays) but I wake up in the AM and Ithen I'm just lying in bed with my mind wandering around. Need to get a handle on that I think.

In other news next week our temps are going back into the 80's NOOO Thank you ! In fact I told my News guy on Facebook that I do not approve, He said he will do better the following week .. LOL Hes a really nice funny guy and loves to interact with viewers. Well all my news people do !

Hugs to anyone in need


Iím sorry Iíve been so self-centered in our conversations lately. Idk what was going on with me. Just glad Iím doing better and Iím here for you allllllwaaays(said like Severus snape!)
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Old Yesterday, 10:07 PM   #691
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

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My heart is absolutely broken. I had to put down my cat tonight. I don't know what to do. I'm so devasted.
Oh, Iím so sorry. Thatís so hard.
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Old Yesterday, 10:28 PM   #692
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

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My heart is absolutely broken. I had to put down my cat tonight. I don't know what to do. I'm so devasted.
I am so, so sorry. I've been through that and it is horrible. Just focus on knowing he/she knew you loved him/her right up to the very end.
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Old Yesterday, 11:30 PM   #693
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #59

It all happened so suddenly with her. She started having issues breathing so we called the vet for an emergency. Honestly yesterday she was fine. She had a lot of fluid on around her lungs and come to find out, she had some tumors on her mammories that metastasized to her lungs. It was cancer. He could pull the fluid off, but this would just happen again. She was struggling so hard to breathe when we arrived, and obviously was suffering. He said he wasn't even sure she would make it through the night the way she was acting and what he was seeing in x-rays and ultrasounds. We couldn't bear to watch her go through that. We were with her every moment until the end. It hurt so bad to watch her go. The vet offered to bury her for us. We accepted.


Literally yesterday she was fine, it happened so suddenly the decline. She was the sweetest cat in the world. Everyday we would play together and I'd pet her. She was someone who got me through some hard times -- she was almost an emotional support cat for me. We did have her 11 years. She was old. She beat the odds anyway, she had feline leukemia and fought it off. That only happens in like 30% of cats. She lived a good life, and a happy life -- and she was loved. She was so loved. She knew that, hopefully until the very end.

She used to always give me kisses. Even tonight before she passed. I'm going to miss her so much. I'm will bawling my eyes out. I don't know how to handle this. I have no regrets with doing what was necessary to make sure she didn't suffer. I just miss her so much.
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