Bipolar check-in #59

I’m tired today. But I’ve only had one Valium. I’m drinking a 52oz bottle of zero sugar fruit punch without a glass. I used to do that at work. I’d drink a 52 oz bottle of diet tea straight from the bottle. No one cares or pays attention unless your overweight and doing it.

I ordered an unwhich from Jimmy Johns and I’m trying to avoid taking a nap. I’ve been doing laundry all day because I’ve been neglecting it but I’m out of jeans and I have therapy tomorrow. I’m glad I’ll be able to tell her I talked to my Pdoc about our last session and we came up with a plan.

I’m waiting on a delivery but I’m not sure it’s coming today. When they say there are delays they really mean it. I have gotten so many cancelled or postponed orders in the last few days.

It doesn’t look like the delivery will come today. It should have been here by now. It didn’t make sense to begin with. It is coming by FedEx and it said that it was coming today but it also said it was still 2 states away.

My mom went to the library and got My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 for me. I saw it once at the theatre's in 2016. It wasn’t as good as the original and most of it was just recycled jokes from the first one, but I liked it. I’ll watch it later probably during the weekend. I have got to get out of the house this week and do something. Probably after therapy in the morning. I need a tie for Thanksgiving.

I often have 5 sodas a day. Today I only had 2. Which is pretty good progress. I did drink that entire bottle of zero sugar juice though. I didn’t drink any tea. I had some water. I wasn’t very thirsty in general today. I should drink some more water.

I feel better after my 160mil geodon and 20mil melatonin. But I do not need anything else tonight. Except maybe some mint herbal tea since I’m kinda nauseated.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Aw Beth I’m sorry you feel guilty getting a pedicure. My daughter feels that way too and is trying to work on it by taking my granddaughter with her sometimes so my granddaughter can learn to treat herself without guilt. 😃 she’s only 4!

What a wise thing, to take her young granddaughter for a pedi. There is so much to be learned...feeling nice about your appearance, taking care of your body, etc.

Yeah my daughter wants her to grow up confident. She’s only 4 but she can do so much. Of course she has a big brother that helps.

Oh my gosh, something has broken in my brain. I've been having waves of panic that are a torture. I was sleeping well, but last night the panic affected my sleep.

I'm seeing that icy pdoc today...I am praying she prescribes something that works.

Ohhhh I hope she does something right. I'm so sorry that your dealing with so much right now

Hope you have found it by now. I literally panic if I can't find my phone so I fully understand that!

Did you take the prn Gabapentin??

Oh good grief with this GP already

I hear you on the poor shoes for walking vs the hiking boots. I plan to try a couple pairs of sneakers I have just back and forth to the pasture before I go a long distance. I really was worried id break my ankle or something !

Ok as far as buying jeans online?? I am glad you found something that actually fits ! I bought a pair earlier in the year I was so in need of them and I also got lucky that they indeed fit great ! Better luck buying those than years of trying so many on in a store to find out that Meh nothing fit right.

Yes, we had to take the mattress completely off the bed and then we found it. I probably could have done that in the night if I'd been willing to take the blankets off but I didn't think about it. My mattress is memory foam so it's quite heavy and I didn't think about my weighted blanket adding 20 lbs.

I did take the gabapentin but I was awake until about 5. I hope I get to sleep early tonight since I didn't get a chance for a nap.

I'm so glad to have it back. It's hard to believe we once relied on landlines (which I don't have so I was phoneless) and now it's hard to not have a phone in hand 100% of the time..

Rainy day here, we're supposed to get 40+mph winds later on. I've been taking the thorazine 3x a day, and it's reall been helping me settle down. I hope the Invega kicks in soon though so I don't need to be on three antipsychotics.

Ooooooooooooo I hear you on the memory foam being so damn heavy and a weighed blanket ? Yup way to heavy. Glad you found it. Yes I remember keeping a roll of dimes in my car to have for payphones if I needed to call anyone while I was out.. Wow has time changed I think the last payphone in my town was removed a couple years ago. Yes scary to not have a way to contact someone if something were to happen.

I so hope tonight you get a wonderful sleep

I got some big wind yesterday late after noon as a cold front finally hit us fully. Do you normally have wind like that often? I took Invega years ago. It was weight neutral and I think I started to notice it about 2 weeks in. Hope it kicks in quickly for you too.

Well damn ! Y'a'll my days are way to Looong

My sleep has truly gone back to pure garbage. I really shouldn't be upset I have had this problem my entire life but its such a struggle right now. There is not any real help. I know I need to just accept the fact it is what it is

Hope everyone is finding some peace in our hectic lives

We don't have wind like that down here too much, but the wind gets fierce up in the mountains. It'll be interesting to see what the Mt. Washington observatory reports once it's here. Right now it's 52 up there. Nothing here yet. I'm mildly concerned we're going to lose power (and our generator is broken!!) I'm going on shot number 3 of invega, pnurse said it'd take about 3 months so any day now. Did you get any side effects from it?

Tonight I go glaze the pieces I threw two weeks ago. Hopefully I won’t get so messy as I did then. I’m kind of wondering if my prices all survived the kiln? They were pretty uneven. 😃 not sure what I’ll do with them since they look like toddler art. But still I’m looking forward to the art time. Seriously thinking of becoming a member so I can just keep throwing until I manage to produce something recognizable.

Awesome! Hope you have fun

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Ooooooooooooo I hear you on the memory foam being so damn heavy and a weighed blanket ? Yup way to heavy. Glad you found it. Yes I remember keeping a roll of dimes in my car to have for payphones if I needed to call anyone while I was out.. Wow has time changed I think the last payphone in my town was removed a couple years ago. Yes scary to not have a way to contact someone if something were to happen. I so hope tonight you get a wonderful sleep

I remember going on dates and always having two dimes in my purse just in case. The inference was that I would need to be picked up by my mom if my date "got fresh" with me. LOL!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Tonight I go glaze the pieces I threw two weeks ago. Hopefully I won’t get so messy as I did then. I’m kind of wondering if my prices all survived the kiln? They were pretty uneven. 😃 not sure what I’ll do with them since they look like toddler art. But still I’m looking forward to the art time. Seriously thinking of becoming a member so I can just keep throwing until I manage to produce something recognizable.

That sounds like such fun!

Nammu, your adventures inspire me and perk me up. Thank you for sharing them.

I had such a bad therapy session today that I’m about to go to bed. She says she is going to report elderly abuse OF ME. I’m a senior citizen (I don’t think so) and I’ve hurt my back and arm caring for them and they take advantage of me therefore it’s abuse. She said it’s my fault I’m injured. I allowed it. Even my daughter blames me she said. These are all the milder things she said. I’m trying to heal and be a better person. To make things worse, the screen froze as we were signing off so there was no closure. I’m just so upset right now. I don’t see how I can work with her now. It was going well up until now. I would gently steer her away from the topic of my family but couldn’t today. I feel so bad.

Oh Jennifer!