[Manena]

Hi.
I'm high-functioning and I'm about to graduate from a healthcare program. The school and its administration are not very ethical people, but of course they have all the power over me.
I recently got in trouble because a classmate openly texted everyone about how much se disliked a clinical site, and was very specific and unprofessional in her comments. In an impulse, I forwarded the text to the people at the clinical site who were already planning on reporting her for her behavior. She complained to the school, and now I am the one in trouble.
It took me a while to understand this was nothing more than impulsiveness, and how I'm not following directions exactly with my medication. I have an appointment tomorrow with the academic director. I anticipate something really bad coming my way. Bipolar explains my behavior, but I'm very hesitant to disclose it and explain the things I struggle with every day. There is a lot of stigma.
Has anyone been in a similar position? Having to explain your actions with your mental disease? I'm very confused.

[*Beth*]

Whenever my bipolar disorder becomes apparent to another person I find they have a judgmental, frightened reaction. The same people who declare that mental illness should be de-stigmatized are the first ones to be discriminating toward those with mental illness. I am extremely cautious about who I disclose to.

[Moose72]

I agree with Bethrags. I generally don't tell people that I have bipolar disorder.

[Victoria'smom]

I would keep it close. What we told our son to say is he's recently had some health issues and he's working with the disability office on accommodations. That won't help in this situation. When I was in college I almost got kicked out because I was manic drank a lot and was so unsafe my RD had to be called in. The next day I had a meeting and they wanted me to see their drug and alcohol counselor. Still manic I laughed and told them I called my own that I've had for years. Somehow my councilor smoothed it over. The next week I was engaged to my husband. The councilor wasn't happy about that. So yes I've been in situations where bipolar screwed me over.

Maybe tell them you realize it was impulsive and you're working on it.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

When I was in grad school in a psych related field I admitted to a professor I had depression. I wasn't diagnosed with bipolar yet and was not visibly symptomatic even to people who knew me well. I was treated badly by certain faculty from then on, including being discouraged from making more difficult decisions with my research project than most of my classmates despite having one of the highest grade point averages in the class. It was not good and I was pretty miserable for the last year of my training. I can't imagine if I had told them I had bipolar.

[Manena]

Thanks for all your responses. What if that's the only explanation that saves me from termination? It is a very strong possibility.

[Victoria'smom]

How long do you have left in the program? If they're looking to terminate you then they most likely still will. You can try but your mental health maybe why they terminate. Siteing your behavior as the reason why they terminated.

[MuddyBoots]

If you need specific accommodations, tell student services you have a disability and get a letter from your doc saying what you need. If you don't, don't tell anyone.

I needed accommodations, but didn't do that and my transcript is horrible/flunked out/wasted thousands of dollars.

[~Christina]

I would not disclose. Often when people disclose having any mental illness it opens up the ability to use anything and everything against you to remove you from a class or work on a degree and a job. Yes the ADA is suppose to keep this from happening but in reality they don't go to bat for individual people. Anyone I have ever known that discloses seems to get fired for something lame a couple months later.. Like retuning from lunch 5 mins late. If someone wants to let some one go or in your case school they will find a way.

I would instead use the " poor sleeping" to explain why you did something wrong and hopefully save your place. Many people say a lot of things when they are running on empty.

[Manena]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

How long do you have left in the program? If they're looking to terminate you then they most likely still will. You can try but your mental health maybe why they terminate. Siteing your behavior as the reason why they terminated.

I have two months left.

[Gabyunbound]

You're in a terrible predicament, and of course are desperate to finish your degree.

However, I would pose this question to you: are you absolutely sure that your illness has caused that particular impulsive behavior? If not (we all do impulsive things from time to time, for no discernible reason), then I wouldn't start a potential pattern of excusing such a behavior due to BP. In your shoes, I would apologize and try to convince them that I would never do such a thing again.

Regardless of the reasons, as others have said here, and for the reasons they have cited, I would not disclose. My behavior has, especially in the past, affected my work, but once the episode has run its course, or more hopefully, been stopped in its tracks due to new meds, and I'm back to baseline, I do the best I can do and apologize when necessary. If you need an excuse, insomnia is a good one, as it may describe part of what is going on while, at the same time, not disclose BP.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

How did it go? How are you doing?

I hope you are feeling more settled and that the school resolved things fairly.

[bpforever1]

Even people without bipolar disorder have bouts of impulsivity. Please don't disclose your mental illness to anybody unless you need reasonable accommodations. If you need reasonable accommodations, this may also be used against you once you work. Thus, I would never disclose a mental illness to anybody with whom I work or go to school. I did this and it cost me my job as a healthcare professional. The people in charge used it against me in the end as an excuse to terminate me. Also, it cost me some good jobs too since nobody wants to work with someone with a mental illness. I urge you NOT to disclose no matter what. I notice people who admitted their mental illness in the healthcare field are either stigmatized for life or have lost their jobs and never recovered from their loss. I am one of the people in the latter category but remain defiant. I am doing well now and am putting the broken pieces of my life back together. It is difficult. BUT, I am recovering and finding jobs now since I don't disclose my illness to anybody I work with. I started all over in another place. For some reason, as I got older, my illness has become stable with compliance. May be you will be the same so hang in there!

[Manena]

Thanks everyone!

[bpforever1]

I disclosed my illness to a grad program. Now, we shall see what happens. I did this because I could not explain my gaps and reasons for leaving the healthcare field. This program is for writing though. I am also interested in writing about psych disorders. I don't have high hopes but shall be patient and see what occurs next.

[bpforever1]

They called me! I am so happy. I will apply and see what happens.

[Broken Old Man]

Congrats!

Bom

[luvyrself]

Im sure you plan to explain why you did it, eg how you thought it doing that would benefit whomever.
Try to act calm. Apologize if necessary and say you understand their point of view.
Do you have a friend who is a top notch writer? You could have them write your well thought out defense with you and then memorize it.
Can you afford an attorney to advise you? You could try a low cost legal clinic.