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Default Sep 20, 2021 at 08:50 PM
  #1
Holy cow we went over 1000! Here’s the new thread

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Default Sep 20, 2021 at 08:55 PM
  #2
I got the link up on the old thread.

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Default Sep 20, 2021 at 09:23 PM
  #3
Thanks so much beyondrainbow 🌈

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Default Sep 20, 2021 at 09:32 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
Thanks so much beyondrainbow 🌈
Thanks for the rainbow!

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 12:25 AM
  #5
Hey everyone

I want to thank you all for the kind words and support about the Cluster F of a situation I am in.

My Mental state, Hallucinatios, anxiety, panic and all around anger/rage hasn't changed.

But .....

Now my husband has gone into rage mode over all this. He is wanting to call and scream at her to do her job. Well that isn't going to help anything. I told him No your not calling because this situation needs to follow protocol. I want her in vast trouble with her job and I am hoping they will report her to the state for negligence. I also do not want an explosion because I want it set up to where I NEVER have to speak to her again , ever, about anything.

So tomorrow I am driving to Richards office and call when I get there, Another Centerstone policy " if someone on the "Suicide Pathway" comes to the office there T will see them ( if regular T is out of the office then they are to be see by someone) So again I want this all to go by protocol. I need help from Richard on how to make him chill with his rage over it and to make sure he doesn't call. When he is yelling about it nothing I am saying is helping at all.

The last 3 times I have gone to my grocery store ( about 1 a week apart ) they have not had chicken breast.. I snagged the last pack the other day. The head of the meat department manager said he isn't sure when it will be back in stock.. The very small amount of news that I have watched has talked about food shortages.. I have no idea if this is happening in my area or now.

Scare tactics at there finest.. Farms around here are being paid by the Government to not grow crops... So ??????

Hugs to anyone in need

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 02:21 AM
  #6
@Moose72, @~Christina, @wildflowerchild25, @Blue_Bird, and all who have been in some form of diress, lately. I'm not excluding anyone in these well wishes. It is a hard time, indeed. I'm surprised I'm doing OK under the circumstances.

Christina, do be tough about that nurse. You have the right to be done with her, especially if she exacerbates your situation.

I remember during the worst of the pandemic in New Jersey there were meat shortages. I just wish everyone would FINALLY get together to fight off this pandemic. I mean, all right already! Doing nothing or being counterproductive about it is lunacy and just plain vicious. Its perpetuation is hurting everyone.

Today Hubby and I will go higher into the mountains via cable car. The views should be lovely. I will perhaps share one later. It is supposed to be sunny today, so that's good. Tomorrow the higher peaks might have snow, but we likely won't be that high then.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 07:55 AM
  #7
We had a nice morning high in the mountains. Took two cable cars and one ski lift to reach the highest point we could get to today. It's sunny today, but tomorrow it will snow all day up there, but not down where our hotel is. We still had to wear coats up there.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 08:59 AM
  #8
Just got back from the podiatrist. He says there's definitely some weakness/limited range of movement and it's a nerve problem, probably in my spine so he's referring me to a neurologist. It's good to know I'm not making this stuff up though because the first doc I saw didn't understand what I was trying to get across at all. I'm supposed to go straight to the ER if it gets any worse. 10 years ago an xray showed I have a 39 degree curve in my spine so I wonder if that's at all related.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 10:55 AM
  #9
Christina what I’ve heard about shortages is that there aren’t enough truck drivers to get the supplies out. A large amount of older drivers quit and or retired during the pandemic and younger people aren’t taking their place. It’s a real problem as trucks is how most goods are moved in the USA.

Soup that sounds fantastic and beautiful. Thanks for sharing these stories here.

Sapien after my spinal surgery my foot drop disappeared. I no longer have weakness on that leg either. Mine was caused by one leg being shorter than the other and wearing soft soled moccasins most of my life on hard surfaces.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 11:06 AM
  #10
So t suppose to call in 45 minutes. I don't want to talk to her. I'm thinking of taking an antianxiety pill beforehand. But i don't know. I just wish she wouldn't bother calling. I know it's her job but it's going to be to bothered by talking to me. I don't want to bother anyone. I think she's going to be concerned. I don't know why my mood crashed when I got home.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 01:45 PM
  #11
I’m not doing too well today. I think it’s the start of my SAD for me. It’s just been gloomy and rainy and in the low 60’s all day. I had a can of Mountain Dew at 2:30 and I had another can and an ice cream bar for breakfast. Then I had another 16oz Mountain Dew around 8:30. I had a tablespoon of peanut butter about 11. By noon I couldn’t figure out why my anxiety was crazy high. Until I realized it was because I didn’t eat much today but had a ton of caffeine. So I went to a fast food sea food restaurant and I feel better hunger wise. I’m still depressed and anxious. I have not heard back about my insurance and my surgery so I called the office and got the run around for 15 minutes before being directed to the lady who called us last time. She wasn’t there so we left a message and I’m just waiting now. But this is really impacting my mental health and I’m worried I’m going to have a breakdown. I truly am worried. Ive been doing this thing lately where I’ve been reading all day and getting so involved in my book that I lose time and I forget to do stuff until I suddenly realize it and then I have a meltdown because I haven’t eaten all day or properly addressed my anxiety or something. I just get so anxious that all I can do is read for hours. Like I’m unable to move almost. It’s been kinda strange. Which is why I didn’t read between March and July. Because I’d have these episodes and they would be concerning to me. But I guess I started up again. At least I caught myself today and I was able to eat something and not majorly freak out.

But I’ve been back and forth with my therapist since 8AM. I’ve been taking a long time to answer her emails. I can’t get a clear answer if the office maybe went back to remote. She offered me a 3:30 Friday phone call or tele session. Yet didn’t say how long it would be or anything. So I’m just confused by her again and I’m honestly getting very tired of it.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 02:18 PM
  #12
I took all my night meds in the middle of the afternoon. Including the Geodon. I sent a kinda rude email response to my therapist and now I’m either going to read more or fall asleep.

With the rain and cold and me in bed in the middle of the afternoon this seems more like sad then anything else.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I took all my night meds in the middle of the afternoon. Including the Geodon. I sent a kinda rude email response to my therapist and now I’m either going to read more or fall asleep.

With the rain and cold and me in bed in the middle of the afternoon this seems more like sad then anything else.
It's rainy and cold here too and tomorrow will be worse. Better yet, my youngest is moving today. I hope he gets it all moved today and doesn't have to do any tomorrow.

I've been in bed all day. It's that kind of day.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 04:35 PM
  #14
Have a killer headache. Unsure if it's caffeine related or perphenazine withdrawal. It's the 4th day off of it.

On Friday I'm calling the bingo cards downstairs in the community room from 111am -12pm and 3pm - 4pm, and at 2pm-3pm I have that self-care group. I'm a little nervous, but excited also.


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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 05:00 PM
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Well I talked to T. I didn't realize just how bad I was doing until I talked to her. We went over my safety plan. She convinced me to tell H about my thoughts and made sure I got my shot today. She's not a fan of "Anna" and said I don't really have the coping skills to deal with her. We covered a lot in 45 min. T is concerned but didn't suggest IP unless it becomes over whelming. She does not like that are next appointment is 3 weeks away. I'm okay with it. she left here extension with me. H informed me I'm eating like 1/2 a meal size through out the day. I didn't realize it was that little. I have trouble believing him but I know I should. I see pdoc Novemerish. I'm counting down the days knowing right now there's nothing he can do for me. Dependency on medication to keep me alive feels really ******. H thinks this is my most dangerous mood state. All I want is extra sleep and SH and I'm not aloud either one. This whole thing sucks but that's what I did today.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 05:08 PM
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I took my regular night meds at 2:30 and then I took like 50mil of various kinds of melatonin and then 20 minutes ago I found a Benadryl. But it looks like despite all that I’m still going to be falling asleep at my usual time. All that was taken over a couple hours. I’m not tired but my heart is racing a bit.

No news again. I am now convinced I’m going to have to get onto a payment plan. This insurance sucks.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 05:16 PM
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I'm sorry Mountaindewed maybe tomorrow you'll hear something.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 05:38 PM
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Now my right foot is alternating between tingling and being a 6/10 on the pain scale (ow). The tingling is going all the way up to my knee. No word from the neurologist's office today, the podiatrist called like an hour after I was at my PCP's office. I know getting into see a neurologist is a little harder than podiatrists, but I should at least get the call to schedule the appointment soon.

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Have a killer headache. Unsure if it's caffeine related or perphenazine withdrawal. It's the 4th day off of it.

On Friday I'm calling the bingo cards downstairs in the community room from 111am -12pm and 3pm - 4pm, and at 2pm-3pm I have that self-care group. I'm a little nervous, but excited also.


I'm so sorry you have a headache. Ugh. But the Bingo and group sound terrific!

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Default Sep 21, 2021 at 06:25 PM
  #20
I don't know what to think anymore. I seem to be in a constant state of high anxiety about every.little.thing. It feels like a heavy metal ball sitting in the top of my stomach. It's depression, too, but mainly anxiety. Tomorrow I have some kind of psych test at the clinic when my mental healthcare is. I'm not exactly sure what the test is...maybe for diagnosis? I'll see; maybe I'll be less anxious if I get out a bit.

I also wonder if this has to do with Klonopin withdrawal. I've cut back only the tiniest bit (1/2 a dose 3 nights per week. The rest of the time, normal dose). I can't imagine such a small amount would affect me, but benzos are so tricky. I'm actually considering taking the normal dose for one week to see if I feel relief from this anxiety, kind-of test the situation.

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