[MuddyBoots]

I'm terrible at recognizing mixed episodes but I think I'm in one right now.
Symptoms:
-Can't sleep. Want to OD on valium/oxy to get the good sleep, but yeah I'm averaging like 3 hours a night and I'm having nightmares about my last psychotic episode.
-Super irritable and agitated. Yesterday I screamed at the top of my lungs because a neurologist wouldn't make me an appointment and I threw a pill bottle at a window.
-ED has gotten worse. I ate very little for five days then since yesterday binged and purged several times. I want to take the scale and smash every mirror in the house with it.
-Hearing voices telling me to kill myself.
-Suicidal thoughts. I have a plan.
-Extremely anxious and jumpy. I started hyperventilating because the I can't think of the word for it but hte loud voice that says codes in the ER when I was there a few days ago
-Restless, revved up.

I mean writing it all out this sounds like mixed but I'm not having racing thoughts or feeling really speedy or impulsive. I'm supposed to get my injection today but I'm thinking of skipping because it doesn't do ****.

[Soupe du jour]

@Sapien, you definitely listed some concerning feelings and behaviors. I really think you should give your psychiatrist a heads up on this. They can tell you what they believe you're experiencing based on your descriptions, and perhaps aid you, accordingly. Many of the systems you described can be part of a mixed episode. As for you stating you're "not having racing thoughts or feeling really speedy or impulsive", you sort of described parallel symptoms (restless & revved up sort of equals "speedy" / yelling at the top of your lungs and throwing your pill bottle are definitely impulsive behaviors). Then you've got the sleep difficulties and the horrible thinking. Again, can definitely be a sign of mixed states for many of us.

Please take care and be careful. Do contact your psychiatrist and provide a list of what you outlined here.

[*Beth*]

Soupe covered your current behavior well. I will add that irritation and extreme anger can be symptoms of mania.

[MuddyBoots]

At my injection appointment the nurse called my NP and she changed my thorazine from PRN to scheduled 3x a day and increased my cogentin so hopefully that'll help

[HALLIEBETH87]

Hope you’re feeling better soon. We are here for you!!

[scatterbrained04]

Yes, you sound a little mixed. How are you doing? I hope you feel better soon. Mixed is the worst.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Yes, you sound a little mixed. How are you doing? I hope you feel better soon. Mixed is the worst.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

The thorazine is really helping out. I'm still irritable and haven't really eaten anything other than yogurt and Ensure in 3 days, but I haven't acted out aggressively since the pill bottle thing despite really wanting to.

I'm so freakin' tempted to get high though. I have 225 clean &sober days under my belt and I don't want to ruin it.

Yes, mixed is the worst.

Repeating to myself something I learned in group: "Embrace all feelings, guide all behaviors."