advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 02:51 PM
  #1
Hi guys,

I'm really struggling with suicidal thoughts, wanting to run away, thinking life will be better without me in it. Wish death had took me instead of my Mum.

I have had a lot going on Mum's death in July, my Uncle's death in September, family dynamics, family fighting.

I usually get depressed around about this time of year but now I'm suicidal. I hope this is a blip but it's not looking like that.

I called the duty worker in my mental health team. They recommend distractions and they would get my Community Psychiatric Nurse to contact me that was 7 hours ago its 9pm here so hoping my CPN calls tomorrow.

I'm just really f$$$ed up.... sorry!!!

Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, bpforever1, buddha1too, cinnamonsun, Fuzzybear, HALLIEBETH87, mote.of.soul, Nammu, Soupe du jour, unaluna, Victoria'smom, xRavenx

advertisement
Victoria'smom
Legendary
 
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,880 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
5,415 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 03:05 PM
  #2
Hopefully they get back to you soon. I know it's after hours but maybe they have an on call dr. Until bed hang out here. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.

__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Victoria'smom is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
Miss Laura
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 03:08 PM
  #3
I can call NHS 24 but I don't want to just cause I'm staying with my Sister tonight and I haven't told her. Purely for the fact she has been working late tonight preping for a meeting first thing.

If I get worse I will contact someone

Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, buddha1too, Victoria'smom
Victoria'smom
Legendary
 
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,880 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
5,415 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 03:18 PM
  #4
Sorry things are so hard right now.

__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Victoria'smom is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
Miss Laura
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 04:08 PM
  #5
I think your state of mind is in part the grief process.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
Miss Laura
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,417 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,512 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 05:20 PM
  #6
I hope you can get ahold of someone to help.

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
Miss Laura
pathfinderat60
New Member
pathfinderat60 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2021
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 1
2 yr Member
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 06:15 PM
  #7
Hi Laura,

This is my first time posting here in this forum. I saw your post because I too am having strong thoughts to just want to die but not a plan.

Miss Laura, How old are you? I turn 60 tomorrow.. Life is hard with mood disorders and being lonely. Thankfully you are with your sister and not alone and perhaps you can just sit in the living room and watch TV and talk to her or call someone.
pathfinderat60 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
Aviza
Magnate
 
Aviza's Avatar
Aviza Calm
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
10 yr Member
86 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 07:27 PM
  #8
I think call the 24 hour line. you don't want to risk your life. your thoughts are serious and hard to fight, get help.

__________________
Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.
Daughter: 20
Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs.
Aviza is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, LovecraftianHorror, Miss Laura
bizi
Bizi is bizi
 
bizi's Avatar
bizi happines is a decision
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,830
15 yr Member
43.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Red face Oct 12, 2021 at 07:45 PM
  #9
miss laura,
Please check in.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





bizi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Miss Laura
buddha1too
Veteran Member
buddha1too We are all Buddhas becoming.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Posts: 735
10 yr Member
2,547 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 09:09 PM
  #10
Talking things through on the phone can provide temporary relief. I agree with BethRags' opinion that some of what you're feeling is grief. Hang on.
buddha1too is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Miss Laura
BeyondtheRainbow
Wise Elder
 
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,194 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
9,275 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2021 at 09:16 PM
  #11
Do you have a text support system there? Here texting something (741741 I think) hooks you to someone to talk to.

I hope you feel better soon and that your nurse gets back to you soon.

__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel
BeyondtheRainbow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Miss Laura
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 13, 2021 at 02:38 AM
  #12
Yeah we can call or email The Samaritans, call or chat online to Breathing Space, text SHOUT to a number and they will support you. I just hate bugging people. I know I'm worthy of support I should just do it but I can't. Thanks guys it's nearly 9am here so hopefully my CPN will call at some point today

Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi
Soupe du jour
Elder
Soupe du jour has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,149
8 yr Member
13.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 13, 2021 at 04:52 AM
  #13
I hope your CPN calls soon, or has already this morning, Miss Laura. You absolutely need support! And I think it would be highly beneficial, if possible, to get grief counseling. I didn't right away after my mother died either. I got to the point where I demanded it while at the hospital. Luckily they came up with a group after my request. There was a younger woman who lost someone dear to her and a middle-aged woman who lost her teenage daughter who also participated. I couldn't help but wonder if I hadn't pressed for this counseling if none of us would have received it. Maybe consider asking for one.

__________________
Dx: Bipolar type 1

Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg
* Seroquel IR (quetiapine IR) 50 mg
* Lyrica (pregabalin) 100 mg
Soupe du jour is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, luvyrself
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 13, 2021 at 12:26 PM
  #14
Another day and another no show from my CPN. I've called in 2 days 16 times I'm not asking for much sorry I'm suicidal ill just ignore the symptoms right

Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, buddha1too, Fuzzybear, Moose72, Soupe du jour, Victoria'smom
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,417 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,512 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 13, 2021 at 01:59 PM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Laura View Post
Another day and another no show from my CPN. I've called in 2 days 16 times I'm not asking for much sorry I'm suicidal ill just ignore the symptoms right

Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk
If it gets bad, get a ride or drive yourself to the hospital. Is there a psych ER in your hospital? Is it far?

My pdoc's office has an after hours emergency line. Does yours?

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 13, 2021 at 02:02 PM
  #16
We can't do that here we need to be referred. We can go to A&E (ER) and see but I live 1 hour away from there. I'm with my Sister tonight. I'm trying to tell her but can't find the words. I can call NHS24 or 111 and ask for mental health support. But not wanting to do that as I'm with my Suster who doesn't know a thing

Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, buddha1too, Soupe du jour, Victoria'smom
 
Thanks for this!
bizi
bizi
Bizi is bizi
 
bizi's Avatar
bizi happines is a decision
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,830
15 yr Member
43.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Unhappy Oct 14, 2021 at 09:51 PM
  #17
Tell your sister and make that call.
own up to it, she needs to know.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





bizi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LovecraftianHorror
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 15, 2021 at 02:04 PM
  #18
I can't sat the words... "I'm suicidal"

I can't say "I want to die"

I can't say "I feel unsafe especially outside"

I want to stop writing my funeral plans etc but I'm committed to it now

Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
BeyondtheRainbow
Wise Elder
 
BeyondtheRainbow's Avatar
BeyondtheRainbow has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,194 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
9,275 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 15, 2021 at 02:57 PM
  #19
I don't know what to say but nobody has answered you and I feel bad for that. I think you need to get help. Can you write a note that you need help and give it to you sister or to someone else who can get you help? Try to find something to do besides writing funeral plans; that is only going to make you feel worse and is probably dangerous.

Please seek help immediately. You are in an urgent situation.

__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel
BeyondtheRainbow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 15, 2021 at 03:01 PM
  #20
My nurse called today and said I'm not in immediate danger. Says I don't think you will do anything silly over the weekend I'll call you on Monday. I'm seeing her in person on Friday.

I have numbers to call if I get worse. I'm at my Dad's tomorrow afternoon for the weekend

Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Guiness187055
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:34 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.