advertisement
Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
Sunflower123
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
95k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 08:06 AM
  #661
I didn’t make it to the event last night and that’s okay. My body is sore from being so sick the other day and it hurt to move around. It still does. I have 2 medical appointments and lab work today including my appointment with Nurse Ratchet. I hope it goes well. After that, I’ll stop off by Trader Joe’s for some cheerful sunflowers and by Sonic for raspberry tea. I’m back on my feet for the most part and back in the Christmas spirit.

I wish everyone a peaceful day.
Sunflower123 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, VerMOZZica
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Nammu

advertisement
wildflowerchild25
Elder
 
wildflowerchild25's Avatar
wildflowerchild25 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,431
10 yr Member
9,545 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 09:10 AM
  #662
My son has cold symptoms so I’m going to tasks him to be tested today since he was directly exposed. He always has cold symptoms in the winter, especially when the temp is fluctuating wildly as it has been here in NJ for the last couple of weeks. However I cannot in good conscience take him out of the house until it’s confirmed negative. If he is positive I won’t be able to return to work for ten days anyway so I guess trying to find someone to watch him is irrelevant.

My mom never responded to my text asking for her to watch him tomorrow. She has a tendency to do this and my brother and I don’t know why. Even if she forgot in the moment, like I do sometimes, surely she would have opened her texts at some point since Friday and seen mine and remembered. All I can think is she’s upset about what I said about her car, which wasn’t rude in the slightest, just not what she wanted to hear, and she’s doing her normal thing of sticking her head in the sand. I’m over her acting like a petulant child.

Yesterday I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t deathly depressed all day either. Depressed for sure but I’d say a seven or eight out of ten instead of a ten so that’s an improvement.

So far today I’m just pissy like every other day.

__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
wildflowerchild25 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,836 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,653 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 11:07 AM
  #663
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


That's not small stuff. It is entirely inappropriate BIG stuff. I just might have stood up and left the room if my T said such a thing to me.
My mom wants me to continue to give her a chance. She did cut my copays in half because she says I need therapy every week. So she does care. I think. But if she decides to switch me or leave the practice I wont be upset. I can also discuss with her how I am feeling about our sessions and how I think they are going.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Dec 06, 2021 at 11:41 AM..
Mountaindewed is online now  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,836 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,653 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 11:11 AM
  #664
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
@Mountaindewed Hair loss and anemia are signs that your body is not getting enough nourishment. It thinks you're starving.
Anemia is why you are so cold.

Also, you should weigh yourself- you in the general sense- once a week as weight can fluctuate by a pound or more when taken every day.

(I hope you know that this post is typed with love.)
I went for my bloodwork this morning. So I'll see whats up with that. I wonder if my hair loss is because of my new shampoo. Its not cheap stuff though. Its salon brand American Crew. I dont know. But I'll see

But yeah my nutrtion is not good.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden
Mountaindewed is online now  
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,836 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,653 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 11:29 AM
  #665
I'm doing well today. I had planned on doing some Christmas shopping but I think I'll save that for tomorrow. I want to get people $50 gift cards but my mom says I shouldn't be feeling pressured and that people know I'm not working and I have a lot of medical bills. I heard a loud thump coming from the trunk of the car and I asked my mom what the noise was. She said "stuff." And I said "what stuff?" And she said "I dont know maybe for you? Didnt your mother ever tell you not to be nosy during Christmas?" Based on the sound of the thumps and what I've been looking into I assume they are weights. But I hope she doesnt go overboard for me this year, she already got me a couple things and basically all I really wanted this year was a red zip up Fruit Of The Loom hoodie.

I went for my bloodwork this morning. I checked in and I waited about 5 minutes. The room was kinda crowded. Then the lab lady calls my very feminine deadname very loudly. I jumped up and I told her the name I go by now and she just said "oh. Sorry. I just go by the name they give me" this place is usually pretty good about using my correct name. The bloodwork itself wasnt a big deal but she had to move the needle around a bit to get the blood started. When she was done I hurried up and got my mom and pulled my hat down so the people still sitting there wouldnt see my facial hair.

So I'll see what the bloodwork results are they usuaully get them pretty fast, and then I see my doctor on Friday. So hopefully the hemoglobin and whatever that other level was went down after I went down on my dose. I know I don't have the severe anxiety or mood swings or anger that I had when my dose was too high.

It looks like I'll just owe $240 for my hystrectomy. The original cost was $31 thousand.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Dec 06, 2021 at 11:57 AM..
Mountaindewed is online now  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Sunflower123
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,836 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,653 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 02:38 PM
  #666
My doctor emailed me and said my blood levels are under their thresholds and my testosterone is now in the normal range. Yeah theres for sure a noticeable diffrence in how I'm feeling now vs how I felt 3 weeks ago. On Friday I need to ask him if my hair loss is a side effect from the testosterone in general or if its maybe my shampoo and I'll ask him about surgery. Not that I'm commiting to it right now but I just want to know what his expirence is with it and whats involved and what doctor/hospital he uses. But I'm not rushing things. My mom is being supportive and all but shes just wondering what hospital they do it at and if its one we would have to travel to and if its a far one that could add up alot of money in hotel and food bills and stuff. Too bad they dont have Ronald Mcdonald houses for adults.

I didnt eat very well today and I feel really sick. I ate some rice cakes but then I had a bunch of chocolate which expired in May. I didn't notice until I was almost done with it and I didn't think it was that big of a deal since stuff is usually ok for awhile after the expiration date. I just now slammed down 2 pouches of Starkist tuna for some fast protein. But ugh I never want to eat chocolate again.

I once again threw out my vistril. The hunger side effect was just too much for me to handle. I just got 3 new pairs of jeans, a pair of track pants, and a button shirt. I don't want to gain weight.

I took a pepcid. I'll see if that helps my stomach ache. I wish I had a zofran.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Dec 06, 2021 at 05:05 PM..
Mountaindewed is online now  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Sunflower123
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,413 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,511 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 03:05 PM
  #667
@Mountaindewed. 31 THOUSAND! Damn. That's a nice car right there.

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is offline  
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,836 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,653 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 03:13 PM
  #668
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
@Mountaindewed. 31 THOUSAND! Damn. That's a nice car right there.
I honestly am very confused how a 2.5 hour outpatient surgery cost so much. I'd thought it would be 10 thousand tops but closer to 8 thousand.

But I'm glad I have this insurance.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden
Mountaindewed is online now  
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
wildflowerchild25
Elder
 
wildflowerchild25's Avatar
wildflowerchild25 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,431
10 yr Member
9,545 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2021 at 04:47 PM
  #669
I wish I could go to work. I need a distraction from the **** in my head.

Seeing SI images all day. Feelings where I used to SH and only don’t anymore bc I got tattoos to cover the scars on my forearms. And also to stop myself from harming on them so I guess it’s working.

I tried to take my son to be tested but I waited until he was done with virtual school and by then they had closed walk in testing. He really wanted to go to the dollar store so I took him even though I really didn’t feel like I could. I did though. I also stopped and got eggs. I’m thinking of ordering grocery delivery since we’re out of a lot of things and I can’t face going to the store. I might be able to make it through the small discount grocery store though. They don’t have everything but they have enough.

__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
wildflowerchild25 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Sunflower123
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,836 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,653 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 01:16 PM
  #670
I woke up this morning after a kind of tough night med wise. I saw that the kitchen was a mess and I felt bad because my mom was so tired last night. So I cleaned up and washed the dishes and took out the garbage and the recycling. I had not really planned on leaving my house besides to get an iced tea but then I decided to make my international grocery store run. Getting out made me feel better. I also took my first valium at the correct time. I got some cool stuff and I got a couple gift cards for my sister and brother in law. Now I just need my mom and my brothers presents which I'll get tomorrow. But I feel pretty good today. My therapy appointment got moved to virtual and I was hoping she'd just cancel. She did give me that option but I want to show her that I'm trying. Plus I remember how lonely it felt being without a therapist last christmas and I dont want to repeat that this year. I'm wondering what kind of tomfoolery word vomit she'll say tommrow. At least its still an AM appointment.

I saw something on facebook that kinda creeped me out and sort of lit a fire under my *** even though my mom says it wont happen to me because shes taking care of everything. But I looked on indeed last night to see if the job position I want at the store I want to work for is hiring. They are. I plan on applying first thing next year. My therapist says this is a very friendly place to work for and I have seen trans employees there before.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Dec 07, 2021 at 01:37 PM..
Mountaindewed is online now  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*
Sunflower123
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
95k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 01:20 PM
  #671
I went to my dermatologist today. She is a very kind and caring soul. She was nice to me and I started crying then and there. Just at the fact that someone was kind to me. I cried all the way home. I’m going to process that to see whether I’m overly sensitive due to SAD or whether I’m starved for kindness in my own family. I know which one I suspect. I’m fortunate to have caring friends. Hopefully, therapy today will help.

My NP meeting yesterday went well. Nurse Ratchet was lovely. What a pleasant surprise!

I hope everybody has a peaceful day.
Sunflower123 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, buddha1too, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Soupe du jour
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Soupe du jour
Scooter9
Poohbah
 
Scooter9's Avatar
Scooter9 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,188
5 yr Member
79 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 02:27 PM
  #672
Well I was right, I was feeling better due to the placebo effect. My anxiety is back full force.

It was nice while it lasted. Hopefully better days ahead once the Trintellix really starts to work.

__________________
* Dx: Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder
* Rx: Latuda, Remeron, Prozac, Klonopin, Vraylar

My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016.
Scooter9 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,968 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 03:12 PM
  #673
Well last night I went out on a limb and bought the tickets to a Christmas music show mum wants to see. But it depends on everything going right and mum feeling up to going on the day of the show. And the weather cooperating too.

I ordered the in store glasses the same day as I ordered the online glasses. I just called them because still, no glasses! I got my online glasses days ago! They are still in the lab. Early next week, maybe. Definitely going the online from now on.

It’s snowing here and I already feel trapped. It’s only an inch something but already it hampered getting the recycling in and froze my feet getting the mail cause I didn’t want to go put socks and real shoes on, just ran out in my clogs. Brrrr won’t be doing that again. Still have to go back out and empty the accumulated snow out of the bins, later when my feet thaw. I don’t get SAD but the short days and snow gets to me!

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, buddha1too, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,836 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,653 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 03:59 PM
  #674
Moose and Beth I really appreciate you guys thanking and responding to my posts. It means a lot to have some support on the bipolar forum.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden
Mountaindewed is online now  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Moose72
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Moose72
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,836 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,653 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 06:06 PM
  #675
Possible trigger:

__________________
Ridin' with Biden
Mountaindewed is online now  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Moose72
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 06:17 PM
  #676
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Moose and Beth I really appreciate you guys thanking and responding to my posts. It means a lot to have some support on the bipolar forum.

Aww, thanks Md!


I'm so sorry you're anxious. To me there's no worse feeling than anxiety.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Mountaindewed
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 07:07 PM
  #677
I feel pretty depressed and am just gonna try and get thru the holidays with the least amount of pain possible, whatever that means. I ordered some delivery tonight casually, just trying to cheer up. I feel pretty numb and apathetic which is better than feeling rage or anxiety so i count myself lucky. I'll just slither thru the holidays, unwashed and over-eating, observing only my obligations to my dog.

I went to the mall today to pick up meds. My new pharmacy was excellent again, everything went smoothly save for a single phone call yesterday to give them a nudge. I didn't linger at the mall. I didn't even go in the foodcourt at all, for the first time in months. The only thing i enjoyed was seeing a triple-stroller with an excited nanny pointing out stuff to the kids.

It's Winter and COVID seems to be hanging on, will it ever be over? So i won't expect much pleasure from the coming months, as i think is only realistic. I'm back playing Scrabble, just against the bots tho, but have been having some good games, so that's nice.

I made up a fun pun today. If your favorite TV show is often delayed and it makes you dissatisfied you have a case of pre-empty!

Last edited by Anonymous41462; Dec 07, 2021 at 07:33 PM..
 
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,413 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,511 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 08:36 PM
  #678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Moose and Beth I really appreciate you guys thanking and responding to my posts. It means a lot to have some support on the bipolar forum.
You're very welcome!

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is offline  
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,413 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,511 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2021 at 08:47 PM
  #679
My big thing today was going to my yearly check-up with my primary doctor. My blood pressure was 117/70! My lungs were good. My weight is stable at least. I didn't need any blood work or vaccines. I have an appointment for March for a lung function test and immediately after, next door, is an appointment with my liver doctor. I also have a 6 month follow up with my primary and a mammogram scheduled. Lots of appointments it seems! I also need to get a current proof that I get SSI for renewal of food stamps. Along with some other proofs. I hate paperwork! Especiallywhen there is a deadline looming! At any rateI don't have prediabetes but this new doctor who was working with my doctor today's said "That doesn't mean you can't still develope diabetes...". Nice to know. But I am still not prediabetic for the time being . Unfortunately, I still have metabolic syndrome!! Ugh! Is there any way to get rid of it??

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
Victoria'smom
Legendary
 
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,880 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
5,415 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 08, 2021 at 01:17 AM
  #680
So I went to the mall all on my own, didn't flip out in the elevator when it was just me and another person, I talked to the cashier, got the gift I was buying, went down the escalator, and walked to the car. I was freaked out but I managed without making a scene. I wasn't harmed ( even in the elevator. It was a very successful 10 min trip. Other then that I'm having meltdowns over the littlest things.

__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Victoria'smom is online now  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Soupe du jour
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:19 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.