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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Boise
Posts: 701
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Nov 18, 2021 at 03:23 PM
#1
I woke up this morning got up got my coffee a proceeded to watch some tv well a little after 10 I go in to wake up my wife and her feet were ice cold so I jumped on the bed she was laying on her stomach and I turned her over. I called 911 and started chest compressions while on the phone. My wife of 23 years and she was only 44. I lost my everything I lost my reason to live I don't know what to do or what to say. Thanks
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 *Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, buddha1too, HALLIEBETH87, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Victoria'smom, wildflowerchild25
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Member
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Boston Massachusetts
Posts: 236
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Nov 18, 2021 at 03:24 PM
#2
I'm so sorry for your loss. That would kill me.
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,153
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Nov 18, 2021 at 03:46 PM
#3
Quote:
You are so extremely fresh in this grief, and you must and will feel it. However, you must take care of yourself, though I know you'll have oodles of painful tasks in your immediate future. Please reach out to people closer to you than us. But I'm glad you are reaching out to us, as well. Ask for help from as many people as you can.  You know that your wife would want that. So would the others left that care about you. Do stay safe!I know that having a mood disorder can make challenges and grief extra difficult, but we can get through hard times! __________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,285
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Nov 18, 2021 at 03:53 PM
#4
I’m so sorry. What a shock.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,226
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Nov 18, 2021 at 04:08 PM
#5
I am so sorry for such a tragic loss.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Nov 18, 2021 at 04:37 PM
#6
I am so sorry. Please recognize that you're in a state of shock and treat yourself gently. I wish you eventual peace.
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 luvyrself
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2011
Posts: 735
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Nov 18, 2021 at 04:39 PM
#7
Oh, what a nightmare! I'm so very sorry...so young! I hope you have plenty of support other than that you have here. Please post regularly.
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,193
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Nov 18, 2021 at 05:52 PM
#8
I'm so sorry for your loss
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,468
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Nov 18, 2021 at 07:27 PM
#9
Please reach out for help from your support people- whoever they may be- friends, family, clergy... I truly wish you the best. And what others have said:. You are in a state of shock. Please consider talking with one of your psych team too.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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| BeyondtheRainbow
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*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Boise
Posts: 701
10
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Nov 19, 2021 at 12:45 AM
#10
Thank you everyone I am surprised I am not suicidal but I am kind of numb it is like a nightmare that I am trying to wake up out of. I am lucky that I have a great support system I have been with family and friends all day. I have just been alone for like an hour. I am posting here just trying to get out of my head. I did have to take a prn because I have been manic to all get out.
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| *Beth*, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, wildflowerchild25
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Soupe du jour
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Nov 19, 2021 at 07:49 AM
#11
Thanks for checking in.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Boise
Posts: 701
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Nov 20, 2021 at 10:59 AM
#12
Even in my darkest days I have never in my life been this depressed if I did not have our dogs and kids I would have joined my wife the same day she passed. I honestly hope I die of a broken heart.
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| *Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, wildflowerchild25
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,226
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Nov 22, 2021 at 09:58 PM
#13
Thinking of you Otroo
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,285
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13 53.6k hugs
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Nov 22, 2021 at 10:12 PM
#14
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
8 136 hugs
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Nov 23, 2021 at 05:40 PM
#15
Ask someone to walk with you. It may be a bit nippy there, is there a gym close by? Wow, moving briskly and having a change of scene makes such a difference! We're all with you, hundreds of people around the world!
__________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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