My diary: To support and help others

Hello Beth and the rest of You! I’m better. Well, to be honest I’m trying to. I have to apologise to you and also to the rest of readers who thought I just disappeared. I haven’t. But it was job-related stuff that I needed to recover from and that is why I went silent. I go silent when I feel ill and it’s too much for me. But let me put this short with an short update: my job is so hostile and poisonous now that I haven’t been there for now a month. Especially my boss, with no empathy or any other emotions whatsoever. So heartless and cold, who don’t give a damn about mental illness or anything. My boss wants only profit and that we all work us to death. That’s it.

However, I have been busy despite all this. I looked for another jobs to work in another towns, been in many interviews and such. A lot of interviews. I also met my new doctor in psychiatry last week. Really great doctor who understood exactly in what kind situation I am in and she too asked me if I looked for another jobs (no one is stupid to understand what is happening and happened to me).

This week I feel bit better. But still, I have difficulties to fell asleep. It’s hard due to this physical torture I went through at my work. The moment I close my eyes it’s all there again. I try not to use any sleeping pills like Zopiclone, but fall naturally asleep. I still have to master it, I’m not there yet.

Today I met also my nurse in psychiatry. I told him latest update about searching the new jobs, and that many of the interviews went really great. A lot of them. He really hope I will get me a new job and in another town so I forget about all of this that happened and focus on joy and happiness at the new job. I agreed. He also booked me in a group with others who have bipolar as I, so we will have some sessions with psychiatrist, nurses and such. And that is the best: to talk with someone who also have same illness as you, and perhaps similar problems.

But please note: no matter what anyone says, there are still prejudices in our country and mental health in particular. That is why I’m more than happy that Marvel Studious have released “Moon Knight” (Oscar Isaac) who too struggles with mental health, which was according director Mohamed Diab the main purpose. But also in the comics. So there is hope. And I haven’t gave it up. Not now. Not ever.

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