Bipolar check-in #61

It's so interesting to find that the "witches t**t" is so much more common than I thought. I'm also familiar with the "colder than molasses in January" that you mentioned. These gems live on and I'm glad that they do.

Sending prayers and good vibes that all turns out well

Ugh! The heat has gone out in my car. I had to drive it in the freezing cold to get my elbow injection. I was like a popsicle when I got there. My car has only got 54,000 miles on it and it’s a Honda so it should go forever. Not looking forward to the potential cost to fix it but the market is bad for cars right now (price driven up).

I was too scared to go to my drum circle last Tuesday. I think Monday though that I will go to a church event to make faith bracelets. Sounds like fun and I can wear a mask. I’m going to attend a 3 day conference starting tomorrow (virtual) called DreamBuilders Live. I’m looking forward to that.

We adopted a dog yesterday. A Norfolk terrier mix. So cute and friendly. She has a problem with nervousness and stays attached to mom. That makes me happy. Mom hasn’t been the same since she lost her 18 year old Yorkie two months ago and then the cat last month. It’s good to see her happy.

Things are going well with my mental health and with other things as well.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

@BethRags
I hope your kitty is ok! My kitties have both been having issues as you know so I feel you. Hopefully she improves!

I took way too many drugs to sleep last night. Not too many to be unsafe, just too many for me. I took 50mg seroquel but as soon as I laid down I felt super restless so I had to get up and take Xanax, stil felt restless AND binged and got mad at myself, and was still very anxious and had to take another dose of Xanax. All in all got about 6 hours of sleep but not enough to sleep it off. I knew I’d never be able to get to work on time because it was still too dangerous for me to drive at 7am. It still is now at 8:30 but I almost wish I was there because I am very uncomfortable and feel restless and agitated still and I feel like SH just to release this negative energy.

I called out completely bc I think I’m going to have to take more Xanax right now to calm down enough and that’s going to sedate me even more. And this is the the last dose I have, I’m out until cvs deigns to provide me with more.

Gonna try to distract myself with a movie or something. Eventually I have to get to the grocery store for real bc I’m supposed to bring fruit to work for a little party we’re having for one of our teammates. But right now it’s 12 degrees so no.

I hope she is better today.

I had to google Prince. I had no idea he was only 5'2.

Danny DeVito is what 4'8.

Today has been relativly uneventful and things have happened as they should and with no problems. But my nausea returned and even with the vistereil I have not been too hungry. I woke up at 6 something and I had an ultrasound at 9:30. It was a fasting one and I could only take a sip of water with my meds. My throat was really dry but I turned on my favorite TV show and it totally worked and distracted me until we had to leave. The ultrasound went fine. I got called in ahead of schedule and I got called by my correct name. I didn't have to take off my hoodie or my shirt. I just had to lift up my shirt a bit. It was painless unlike that internal one I had before my surgery. I was out before I was even supposed to be in there.

Now I am at home just hanging out. I don't plan on going out again I feel kinda crappy and cold. I'm a bit worried about my kidney issues. My mom is trying to tell me its not a big deal and shes all like "your dad had kidney issues and saw a kidney doctor and the doctor said he was ok." I don't quite get the comparasions though because 1. My dad was in his 60's when he developed kidney issues. Not before he was 30. And 2. He's dead now.

All this recent news stuff about transplants and donor lists and stuff has me worked up a bit. Why I have severely been limiting my news since Thanksgiving. But at least I'm vaccinated.

Ugh car problem s are a pain. I just got a huge letter about doors flying open while driving recall for my car. I have to take it in.

So glad your mum got another dog. That should help her a lot.

Not much sleep last night. A real toss and turn night.

Purple rays for everyone. ✨

Prayers from me and Miss Mustachio, I hope your baby will be okay

@BethRags Sending healing vibes to your fur baby from me and my fur family. Be sure to take care of yourself too

@BethRags, I hope your cat recovers soon. Good vibes your way.

As far as comparisons to cold weather, one I've heard is "colder than a well digger's arse." That doesn't sound as cold as some ofthe others I've read, but still pretty cold, I guess.

I didn't take my Vraylar last night. My weight has gotten out of control, so I figure I might ditch the AP. I've never been this heavy. I just hope I don't suffer any withdrawls. Since they're capsules, I don't think there's any way to cut them like I might with a tablet.

Buddha I hope the AP withdrawal goes well and that you remain stable. But ouch, full stop ? What about taking one capsule every other day to wean off? Then every 3 days or so?

I was on vraylar recently for a very short time and boy, did it make me hungry! I wasn’t even eating crappy food, I just had to eat every 1-2 hours because I felt like I was going to pass out if I didn’t! I stopped it for that a week ago and also because it was giving me stomach pain and nausea. I became super depressed pretty much immediately and now my moods are completely out of control, but I’m not sure it’s withdrawal because that’s the whole reason I was on vraylar and I was only on it for ten days.

Anyway it definitely has the potential to cause weight gain because of the hunger. Just remember, as you are probably aware it has a very long half life and takes around three weeks to even get halfway out of your body. Hopefully withdrawal is not too bad for you but I’m still experiencing stomach pain here and there, urges to binge, and wild moods. I’ve only been off it for a week though. Good luck, I do hope you have a soft landing. I guess we’re in it together!

Hi all,
Another weird day for me. I watched parts of my mom’s high school friend’s funeral livestreamed. It really hit me hard at moments. Again, I feel like an absolute piece of trash because my feelings are all about me, not him. I did meet him once and he was a very nice guy. It is very clear he was well liked, loved, and a breath of life wherever he was. His funeral service was rather beautiful and full of stories and “Yeah, that was John” moments. Here I am throwing myself a pity party knowing if I were to die I wouldn’t have the same. I will say it, I am the absolute worst.
I have therapy tomorrow – I guess I should bring this up since it’s so upsetting to me. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Today just hasn’t felt right for me. Here’s to hoping the days get better. I was just talking about how my medicines seem to really have helped me so much… let’s hope they can get me through this rough patch.

The appt with my breast specialist went well. We are going to recheck diagnostic Mammo in 6 months. She was very nice and I immediately felt comfortable with her. So I can push those worries away for now.

Cindy has moved her right toes numerous times, eyes fluttering open a few times. She’s not following verbal orders. She was triggering the vent so they took her off and thankfully she was able to breath on her own, but after a few hours fatigue caused them to put her back on it. They are slowly decreasing her fentanyl dose in hope she wakes up soon. Her surgeon said everyone takes different amounts of time. The critical care Doctor “ apparently “ is seeming more concerned. Which angers Steve that everybody isn’t on the same page. But who knows if “ Joe” ( her husband) is understanding info from numerous Doctors.

Her aneurysm happened Monday morning so it’s still early in this battle.

Today Steve is just not doing well at all. He’s terrified she won’t make it. He’s wanting to get down there.. hopefully soon.

We found out last night that his oldest son Ryan ( Payton’s Dad) and his wife are divorcing. She’s a alcoholic and has no desire to stop.

When I got home he was in a near panic so I had him take a walk with me. I reminded him that we have zero control over any of it.

Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts. If anyone can continue I’ll be forever grateful

Hope everyone is doing well

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 Ugh! The heat has gone out in my car. I had to drive it in the freezing cold to get my elbow injection. I was like a popsicle when I got there. My car has only got 54,000 miles on it and it’s a Honda so it should go forever. Not looking forward to the potential cost to fix it but the market is bad for cars right now (price driven up). I was too scared to go to my drum circle last Tuesday. I think Monday though that I will go to a church event to make faith bracelets. Sounds like fun and I can wear a mask. I’m going to attend a 3 day conference starting tomorrow (virtual) called DreamBuilders Live. I’m looking forward to that. We adopted a dog yesterday. A Norfolk terrier mix. So cute and friendly. She has a problem with nervousness and stays attached to mom. That makes me happy. Mom hasn’t been the same since she lost her 18 year old Yorkie two months ago and then the cat last month. It’s good to see her happy. Things are going well with my mental health and with other things as well. I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

The faith bracelet idea sounds so nice.

Congratulations on the new pup!

First, I want to thank you all from my heart and soul for the prayers and love for my kitty Sidney. It was a rough night, but I did what needed to be done and she is an angel, so gentle and cooperative. She's holding her own now, thank the Universe. Her vet should call later this afternoon - she probably needs an insulin reduction.

So we made it through. I didn't get much sleep, but I'll be okay.

Christina, it is frustrating and even dangerous when doctors aren't on the same page. I feel so sorry for Steve. Crappy situation - but moving her toes, etc. are certainly good signs. When my mom had a stroke she could not move anything, and she couldn't speak.

GREAT news from the breast specialist! Whew.


Nammu, good Lord, get those doors fixed! How scary.

Sapien, thank you for reminding me to care for myself. I had forgotten that part .

Jennifer, ugh...no car heat. I hope you are able to get that fixed soon. Or come here where we don't need car heat *rolls eyes*

Blue_Bird - give Miss M. a hug and kiss from me!

Md, I didn't know Prince was that tiny! How interesting.

Buddha, I hear you on the weight situation. You know...when are researchers going to come up with AP's that don't cause weight gain?! It's ridiculous.

Much love all around

I feel that my Winter depression has bottomed out. I've been getting flickers of pleasure the last week, listening to music, enjoying my ZOOM groups and getting back to Scrabble club. All good signs. I'm sure it isn't over yet, but it is improving!

@BethRags:

So sorry you had a tough night with Sidney but hopefully it has been a better day and you got some good advice from the vet.

@~Christina:

Grats on the good breast health news for yourself and some good signs for your sister-in-law.

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013 I feel that my Winter depression has bottomed out. I've been getting flickers of pleasure the last week, listening to music, enjoying my ZOOM groups and getting back to Scrabble club. All good signs. I'm sure it isn't over yet, but it is improving! @BethRags: So sorry you had a tough night with Sidney but hopefully it has been a better day and you got some good advice from the vet. @~Christina: Grats on the good breast health news for yourself and some good signs for your sister-in-law.

Thank you so much, Jane.

What GREAT news! Oh, here's to an increase in flickers of pleasure