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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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Jan 04, 2022 at 11:19 AM
#1
Possible trigger:
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again Last edited by bluekoi; Jan 05, 2022 at 12:26 AM.. Reason: Remove possible suicide method. |
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,245
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Jan 04, 2022 at 11:33 AM
#2
Be safe! Contact someone! Take yourself away from the situation your currently in
Do not take the meds or use the razor!! Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk |
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 MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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Jan 04, 2022 at 11:36 AM
#3
I did contact someone. I talked to my therapist and she was worse than useless and then I called the crisis line and they just upset me further, and I'm kinda trying to take myself away from the situation I'm in...
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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Jan 04, 2022 at 11:40 AM
#4
I really don't want to die. I know it's cliché but I just want the pain to stop.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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 *Beth*, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,245
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Jan 04, 2022 at 11:41 AM
#5
Is there a support line you can call like a mental health support line? Or can you call someone else?
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MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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Jan 04, 2022 at 11:43 AM
#6
I just called them. I hung up because she was too slow.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,245
15 85 hugs
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Jan 04, 2022 at 11:57 AM
#7
Be patient with people you need support right now you need to go at their pace not yours as there is no quick fix unfortunately
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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Jan 04, 2022 at 12:58 PM
#8
I'm on hold, I'm sick of answering the same question fifty times because she just can't keep up it's frustrating and it reinforces the thought I'm not meant for this world.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,245
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Jan 04, 2022 at 01:08 PM
#9
You are meant for this world... its just hard for you right now. Perserve with it ok... keep posting
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MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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Jan 04, 2022 at 01:14 PM
#10
They want to set me up with a telehealth thing with a counselor. The email isn't coming through though.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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Hexagon
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,245
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Jan 04, 2022 at 01:23 PM
#11
Take it!!! It's better than nothing and can help you out to talk to someone neutral
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MuddyBoots
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Member
Member Since Nov 2021
Location: Sweden
Posts: 247
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Jan 04, 2022 at 01:27 PM
#12
Mate, DON’T. I have been in 2011 in similar position myself. I wanted to be it done in a bathtub. And when I was there lying, water all over, I was too clumsy to even do that. But I got help and I got through. Yes, there will always come some little hells every now and then. But keep on walking, and walk head high. Live the life. Have faith. Think about all those positive moments you had - those small but important gems - and that many of them will come.
I hope you will get help ASAP. I do feel with you, mate. But it’s not worth it. As one famous Swedish rockartist (who too had some struggling in his life) wrote on one of his albums from 1977: “Why should you take your own life when you anyway can’t hear the talk afterwards.” His name is Magnus Uggla. And yes, he too had suicide-thoughts, like you, me and many, many others. He will be 69 this year and still going strong, doing his rock-musicals and so on. So don’t give up the hope! Find a way to clear the dark thoughts - and fight! I wish you all the best! 
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*Beth*, MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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Jan 04, 2022 at 02:04 PM
#13
They're sending me to the freaking hospital what the **** this is not what i wanted this is the opposite of what i need
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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| Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,245
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Jan 04, 2022 at 02:17 PM
#14
Do you need to go to the hospital? Are you suicidal? What are they saying?
If they need you to be safe by going to the hospital then you have to, to be safe Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2021
Location: Sweden
Posts: 247
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Jan 04, 2022 at 02:35 PM
#15
Quote:
Please don’t panic and please listen to them. They all know what they do. Please, mate, listen. Listen and go to the hospital. I was there too, not just once. Take care of yourself mate and stay safe!  Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk |
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
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Jan 04, 2022 at 06:43 PM
#16
I hope Sapien is safe at the hospital by now.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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*Beth*, MuddyBoots
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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Jan 04, 2022 at 08:42 PM
#17
I'm sending love, Sapien. I hope and pray you are safe. You are such an interesting and colorful person...the world truly needs you.
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Fuzzybear, HALLIEBETH87, Hexagon, MuddyBoots
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
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Jan 04, 2022 at 08:52 PM
#18
Much love
 I’m glad you reached out for help. That takes strength Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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*Beth*, HALLIEBETH87, Hexagon, MuddyBoots
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
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Jan 05, 2022 at 12:28 AM
#19
hope you get some relief.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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MuddyBoots
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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Jan 10, 2022 at 10:28 PM
#20
has anyone heard from sapien?
__________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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