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MuddyBoots
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Trig Jan 04, 2022 at 11:19 AM
  #1
Possible trigger:
I'm not giving any of it up. Not until I'm assured I won't be locked in this hell forever.

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
So I could never strum again

Last edited by bluekoi; Jan 05, 2022 at 12:26 AM.. Reason: Remove possible suicide method.
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 11:33 AM
  #2
Be safe! Contact someone! Take yourself away from the situation your currently in

Do not take the meds or use the razor!!

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 11:36 AM
  #3
I did contact someone. I talked to my therapist and she was worse than useless and then I called the crisis line and they just upset me further, and I'm kinda trying to take myself away from the situation I'm in...

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
So I could never strum again
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 11:40 AM
  #4
I really don't want to die. I know it's cliché but I just want the pain to stop.

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
So I could never strum again
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 11:41 AM
  #5
Is there a support line you can call like a mental health support line? Or can you call someone else?

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 11:43 AM
  #6
I just called them. I hung up because she was too slow.

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
So I could never strum again
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 11:57 AM
  #7
Be patient with people you need support right now you need to go at their pace not yours as there is no quick fix unfortunately

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 12:58 PM
  #8
I'm on hold, I'm sick of answering the same question fifty times because she just can't keep up it's frustrating and it reinforces the thought I'm not meant for this world.

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
So I could never strum again
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 01:08 PM
  #9
You are meant for this world... its just hard for you right now. Perserve with it ok... keep posting

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 01:14 PM
  #10
They want to set me up with a telehealth thing with a counselor. The email isn't coming through though.

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
So I could never strum again
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 01:23 PM
  #11
Take it!!! It's better than nothing and can help you out to talk to someone neutral

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 01:27 PM
  #12
Mate, DON’T. I have been in 2011 in similar position myself. I wanted to be it done in a bathtub. And when I was there lying, water all over, I was too clumsy to even do that. But I got help and I got through. Yes, there will always come some little hells every now and then. But keep on walking, and walk head high. Live the life. Have faith. Think about all those positive moments you had - those small but important gems - and that many of them will come.

I hope you will get help ASAP. I do feel with you, mate. But it’s not worth it. As one famous Swedish rockartist (who too had some struggling in his life) wrote on one of his albums from 1977:

“Why should you take your own life when you anyway can’t hear the talk afterwards.”

His name is Magnus Uggla. And yes, he too had suicide-thoughts, like you, me and many, many others. He will be 69 this year and still going strong, doing his rock-musicals and so on. So don’t give up the hope! Find a way to clear the dark thoughts - and fight! I wish you all the best!What do I do from here?
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 02:04 PM
  #13
They're sending me to the freaking hospital what the **** this is not what i wanted this is the opposite of what i need

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
So I could never strum again
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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 02:17 PM
  #14
Do you need to go to the hospital? Are you suicidal? What are they saying?

If they need you to be safe by going to the hospital then you have to, to be safe

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 02:35 PM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapien View Post
They're sending me to the freaking hospital what the **** this is not what i wanted this is the opposite of what i need

Please don’t panic and please listen to them. They all know what they do. Please, mate, listen. Listen and go to the hospital. I was there too, not just once. Take care of yourself mate and stay safe!What do I do from here?What do I do from here?

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 06:43 PM
  #16
I hope Sapien is safe at the hospital by now.

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 08:42 PM
  #17
I'm sending love, Sapien. I hope and pray you are safe. You are such an interesting and colorful person...the world truly needs you.

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Default Jan 04, 2022 at 08:52 PM
  #18
Much love I’m glad you reached out for help. That takes strength

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Default Jan 05, 2022 at 12:28 AM
  #19
hope you get some relief.

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Red face Jan 10, 2022 at 10:28 PM
  #20
has anyone heard from sapien?

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