[MuddyBoots]

I don't know if it's me or my outpatient treatment team's fault, but I just got back from my fifth hospitalization in less than a year.

This time they stopped my haldol injections because of side effects and didn't replace it with anything.
Last time was because the haldol was giving me severe side effects (akathisia, dystonia, etc) and cogentin gave me urinary retention.... I was catheterized 5 times iirc.
The time before that I was depressed and psychotic. My NP put me on vraylar but the lowest dose and said "see you in 3 months." I feel like every time she says "med change, but see you in 3 months" I end up going IP because it never works out.
The two times before that I was manic and psychotic. They discharged me on 3 antipsychotics and I was still psychotic and the PHP said I had to go back inpatient after only a few days out. I found out I was only discharged from IP because of insurance reasons and they wanted me to go back.

I just don't want to go back to the hospital ever again. I was really close to being IEA'd again after reading through my notes, and if that happens they'll probably throw a CD back on me and I'll be forced to go to therapy/get injections/have no say over what meds I take.

How do I stay out of the hospital?

[*Beth*]

First of all, thanks for checking in. We all figured you were IP, but it's good to know you're out now. We were concerned.

THREE months?!?! For a patient who has been IP 5 times in less than a year I really think your NP needs to be in contact with you much more often. I wish you were seeing a psychiatrist, rather than an NP. I find there's such a big difference.

Is there any chance of changing treatment teams? I'm suspicious of the one you have.

[MuddyBoots]

No chance of changing treatment teams. There's only one psychiatrist in the CMHC I go to and she doesn't see patients really, just supervises the NPs (and I've seen her once too, she's a witch with a capital B). I don't even know if there are other NPs. I know in the lobby it seems like everyone has the same NP so the evidence says no on that one I could probably switch Ts if I asked, but I don't see the point since they all suck in their own unique ways and at least this one knows me and the sht I get up to. I'm stuck with the CMHC too because they're affiliated with the state and I have a history with the state hospital since I've been IEA'd so many times. I could switch because I don't have a CD anymore but I feel like it's only a matter of time before my next involuntary stay and I am tied to the CD and the CMHC once again.

To be fair when I was off all antipsychotics/mood stabilizers my NP offered to see me in four weeks, but that obviously didn't work out either.

I'm thinking of staying with my Dad for a bit. He lives in a different region in the same state and maybe the resources are a bit better because it's in a city. The downsides are this is a very bad area in terms of opioid use and he is in the grasp of active addiction and I have a history of substance misuse/self-medicating so it's a bit of a risk.

[Fuzzybear]

That sucks, I don't know why some people go into that field who are witches (with a B) (or the male equivalent). It makes me sad and angry You deserve so much better. Every three months is ridiculous with nothing else, imo.

[MuddyBoots]

I literally ran to my dad's house today just to get away from the nightmare CMHC. There are two clinics in this city. I'm going to do a walk-in intake evaluation with one on monday.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

No chance of changing treatment teams. There's only one psychiatrist in the CMHC I go to and she doesn't see patients really, just supervises the NPs (and I've seen her once too, she's a witch with a capital B). I don't even know if there are other NPs. I know in the lobby it seems like everyone has the same NP so the evidence says no on that one I could probably switch Ts if I asked, but I don't see the point since they all suck in their own unique ways and at least this one knows me and the sht I get up to. I'm stuck with the CMHC too because they're affiliated with the state and I have a history with the state hospital since I've been IEA'd so many times. I could switch because I don't have a CD anymore but I feel like it's only a matter of time before my next involuntary stay and I am tied to the CD and the CMHC once again.

To be fair when I was off all antipsychotics/mood stabilizers my NP offered to see me in four weeks, but that obviously didn't work out either.

I'm thinking of staying with my Dad for a bit. He lives in a different region in the same state and maybe the resources are a bit better because it's in a city. The downsides are this is a very bad area in terms of opioid use and he is in the grasp of active addiction and I have a history of substance misuse/self-medicating so it's a bit of a risk.

I understand about being unable to change providers. In my town I am in the same situation. It is good, though, that your NP did offer the 4 weeks.

I'll be honest, staying with your dad does not sound like a wise idea. I understand your desperation. It's just...sticking your hand into a hornet's nest pretty much guarantees you'll be stung.