[Tucson]

I had an accident with my scooter. I hit something like a rock, when I tried to go off road around a barrier on the road. I flipped, with my face hitting cement. I got up but started to have symptoms of a concussion. I felt that I could move a bone of under the skin of my head that shouldn't be there.

I went to the closest Urgent Care, just to find it closed. I then called my daughter for help. I explained to her the seriousness of my situation. I wanted her to get me to the hospital ASAP. She never showed up. When I called her again, she then lied to me about why she could not come. I guess she just did not want to help me. Before my symptoms became worse, I went as quickly as possible on my scooter to the nearest hospital, and made it there.

After getting through her lies, I think the truth finally came out. My daughter had the keys to her boyfriend's sister's car. She told me that she did not want to upset her by using her car. I told her that this was a serious emergency, and I needed to get to the hospital like right now. She declined.

What is going on here?

I cannot believe she did this to me. I told her that if she was the one needing help, I would of "move mountains" to be there for her, like I always have. I am finding it difficult to accept that I cannot trust her to be there for me when I desperately need her help.

There is already allot I cannot trust her over. But I always thought if I really needed her, she would be there for me.

Any thoughts on what happened here?

Thanks.

[Soupe du jour]

Hi Tucson. It's nice to see you checking back here, but I'm sorry to read that you were injured. That accident sounds scary. I'm glad you eventually got to the hospital. Are you OK?

I'm sorry your daughter wasn't there for you in your time of need. It's hard to know what was going on in her mind (or what wasn't going on). I will say that I hope you don't take that as a reflection on you. There are a lot of people who act in a similar way as your daughter. It is baffling. Perhaps as she matures more that will change. Or if not, you may need to accept her way as sad as it could be. You're far from the only person who has experienced such neglect. I know of a couple here who have from at least one of their loved ones. Even I have some examples of such neglect (possibly lesser, though), but from my dad not an adult child. Examples:

Once I was involved in a very scary car accident (not my fault). I was in a daze, but a resident near where the accident was had me call my dad and the police. I told my dad from the start I was fine (which wasn't 100% since I was in shock and had minor injuries), but that the car (his car) was totaled. When he arrived at the scene he started half crying about his car being damaged, but showed no concern about my wellness. I was about 18 at the time. Another time at 14 years old, I was a good hour away at a ballet rehearsal. Afterwards, no one was picking me up. A ballet mother noticed that and gave me money to call home on a pay phone and stayed with me until I was retrieved. When I told my dad I was stranded and he didn't pick me up, he started *****ing how inconvenient it was that I made him have to drive to get me. Later down the line, when I was about 39, I bought him and his girlfriend tickets to join my hubby and me for a concert on MY birthday. Afterwards, he said he and his girlfriend would go out to dinner in the town, but without my husband and me. They wanted to "be alone". On my birthday. Then the duo had the nerve to come to the restaurant my husband and I were in to "say hello", but later I figured they planned to go to that restaurant but when seeing me made up a story. They left quickly and went somewhere else. Many other examples with my dad. But note this, my dad did and still does love me, even if his excessive self-focus and general lack of empathy have been vices all his life. However, no, I could never really count on him. Sad, but true. But I do love him.

[Soupe du jour]

Tuscon, I'm sorry I went off on a tangent above. I wish I could delete the second part. I guess I'll just say that I understand such hurt. Hopefully your daughter is not like my dad.

[Pinny]

I’m so sorry to hear you were in an accident. I hope you are doing as well as possible!
I don’t know what was going through your daughters mind but I am sorry you feel let down by her behaviour. It doesn’t sound like she was helpful at all
I hope you recover quickly from your accident, lots of hugs

[Moose72]

That's so deeply disappointing for her to do that. And how scary it must've been for you. I once got tboned and totalled my car- got hit on the driver's side. It felt like someone had taken a big piece of wood or metal and smacked me upside the left side of my head! I now guess that my head hit the window when I got hit. I was stunned. I didn't realize that I'd been in an accident. Some stranger opened the passenger side door and asked if I'd called 911. He was an angel- at least it felt like it. I ended up going in an ambulance to the hospital and got stitches above my eye. The police officer showed up at the hospital to give me a ticket. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Are you okay? Did you break your face? Your description sounds terrible.

i'm so sorry Tucson, to be honest it sounds like she is choosing to not be there for you
i hope you are recovering from yuor injuries

[Tucson]

I told her that I cannot trust her that she will be there for me. She then blamed the whole thing on me. She told me that I was not careful enough. So it is all my fault. She said that she has a job, so she cannot pick me up over every little incident of mine. I was shocked that she was saying these things, and treating me this way.

This relationship of ours needs a reset. This has become a toxic relationship for me. So I am going to tale a break from her so I can think more clearly. I am overwhelmed and very sad. I will not be talking to her for some time now. I need to figure out what to do next.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I told her that I cannot trust her that she will be there for me. She then blamed the whole thing on me. She told me that I was not careful enough. So it is all my fault. She said that she has a job, so she cannot pick me up over every little incident of mine. I was shocked that she was saying these things, and treating me this way.

This relationship of ours needs a reset. This has become a toxic relationship for me. So I am going to tale a break from her so I can think more clearly. I am overwhelmed and very sad. I will not be talking to her for some time now. I need to figure out what to do next.

I think taking a break from her is a good idea. I can't believe she said those things to you!

[bizi]

Hi tuscon.
I remember when you took care of your ill mother.
You were able to help her in need. That was a lot of responsibility.
I would stay away from her for a while. can't believe her callousness.
bizi
physically how are you?