Bipolar check-in #65

Aww how cute, and that smoothie looks delicious.

I’m feeling out of sorts this morning and decided not to go to aqua fitness. I’m number 7 on the waiting list yet I’m often the only one in the small pool with no instructor. On Monday and Fridays the instructor gets in the water instead of leading from the side. I just don’t feel up to leading myself. But I will go to fitness class later on.

Greetings and salutations! I was quite crabby and pessimistic when I first got up but after catching up on reading posts here, I feel better. It gets me out of my head to read of other’s struggles, triumphs and the details of daily living. This forum rocks!

My pharmacy shorted me 90 pills of Geodon which I use to sleep and will not admit or correct it. They won’t even refill with a doctor’s script and let me pay cash. I’m having to go through another pharmacy. So annoying.

I was so stressed yesterday that I bought a 6 flavor, 12 slice cheesecake. That’s unusual for me. Sometimes self care is a walk in the park, a warm bath or a good book. Sometimes it’s a 6 flavor cheesecake.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.

A repeat post.

I'm sorry you're dealing with the issue with getting your meds, I hope the other pharmacy helps you

That cheesecake sounds amazing, cheesecake is one of my favorite desserts

NH just shot down another cannabis legalization bill. Guess we're all going to continue to waste gas and give our money to VT, MA, ME and QC (and get unwanted fentanyl in our laced street weed).

I'm doing pretty crappy today.

So I've basically been up since 11:30 last night. I got an hour of sleep around 4 something. My dysphroia has been acting up today and I had to exchange some stuff that really needed to be done today. Then I had to get blood work done that also needed to be done today. We went to the lab I don't like where they deadname me. But the receptionist called me by my correct name and I felt relieved. Plus the place was empty. It started filling up but I wasn't worried. Then the lab lady shouted my very feminine dead name across the room. I was dressed in a hoodie and jeans and Vans and a baseball hat and oh yeah, I have a full beard. The whole room turned around and I had to hurry and keep my head down and walk past a row of people checking in and avoid eye contact with them. I was in and out as fast as possible. My mom claims I over exagerrated the situation but I just don't think she gets it sometimes. Not just the looks but being dead named as well.

Anyways I'm crabby from lack of sleep and I got my T shot early this morning because I was getting panicky anxiety and I thought the shot might help. Now I just seem to have faitigue and irritation. This blood test determines what my hematricrit level is now and if I need another phlebotomy procedure.

Yeah here too. The Republican half always shoots down those bills. But we got no states near us to get it. Until it’s legal I’m not buying it.

I deposited my auto insurance refund and took myself out to eat at a local diner. Then I went to my mom's and walked around her neighborhood for about an hour while talking with Caleb. Now I'm home and freshly showered. I just love that feeling! Plus, my hair is so much easier to wash now that I cut 6 inches off. I hope it warms up soon so that I can take an early morning walk while is 60ish. These upper-30's/lower-40's mornings are just not gonna cut it.

What should I do- I've got this paperwork looming over my head. Why don't I just start it?? I was waiting for Sunday which is the first and it's due June 1st so I guess that is my flawed logic there. I have bills to pay and this will be the first month that my phone bill is auto-deducted rather than my going into the shop to pay every time.

Hugs to all in need

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Anyone who wants to know -- I'm still around.

I got my blood test results back already. I just went at 9 this morning. And as I suspected I need another phlebotomy procedure. I'm not very happy. My mom says this one shouldn't be as bad since I know what to expect now. Its just frustrating that this dumb hematricrit level won't permenantly stay down. I've only been back on my injections for 4 weeks and I've been super careful about watching my calories and watching my weight and my sleep hasn't been that bad either. Its just frustrating at age 29 to have this stuff going on. I don't have a date yet for the procedure, the office has to call. I also see my kidney doctor on Monday. I'm not sure what he'll want. Hopefully not another 24 hour urine collection. Thats a hassle. These whole health issues are a hassle. Again, I'm only 29 with no weight issues or diabetes or anything. I keep thinking of what sick kids are going through who miss their entire childhood because of illnesses.

Really depressed today and missing my wife really bad. I decided to take a roadtrip I flew from Boise to Dallas Texas a week ago Thursday. I flew in and bought a motorcycle. I have seen some old friends and have riden several of my bucket list rides. The thing is these rides were supposed to be with my wife who passed 11/18/21. Today is just a really hard day for me and I'm not sure why it just is. I am in Iowa right now and I have riden over 3000 miles since last Thursday. I went by the first house that we rented together in Tennessee yesterday morning and it still looks the same after almost 24 years. I really miss my wife.

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It's interesting to me that I have not been suicidal but I lack the desire to live. I have not had any suicidal ideations since 2015 after my last attempt. I am really glad I am not suicidal.

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Make sure you keep in touch with your pdoc and T.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow Beth, what do you do if you want to stop a movie from Amazon? Do you tell them you don't lik it or that it was an accident or what? I know I cancelled one once because I started it and realizd I didn't want in 2 minutes in and I couJld just clickkrious Just curious.

I call Amazon customer service and tell them I rented a movie I watched for less than 15 minutes, don't want to continue watching it, and I would like a refund. In a year I do that about 3 or 4 times and they always refund the payment with no problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird Here’s a picture of Maybelle when she got here yesterday. Also a random picture of a mixed berry smoothie I made yesterday that was really good I have to walk downtown to the pharmacy later to pick up my meds and buy some food. I slept really good. I was considering staying up all night but I made myself go to sleep around 1am because severe lack of sleep triggers mania and psychosis for me. I woke up at 6am and feel well rested. Even though I sometimes enjoy feeling manic the psychosis is a very bad feeling/experience Have some cleaning I need to do later.

That smoothie looks so good. How are Maybelle and Miss M. doing together?

Yeeeaaahhh....I hear you on the whole sleep thing. For sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 Greetings and salutations! I was quite crabby and pessimistic when I first got up but after catching up on reading posts here, I feel better. It gets me out of my head to read of other’s struggles, triumphs and the details of daily living. This forum rocks! My pharmacy shorted me 90 pills of Geodon which I use to sleep and will not admit or correct it. They won’t even refill with a doctor’s script and let me pay cash. I’m having to go through another pharmacy. So annoying. I was so stressed yesterday that I bought a 6 flavor, 12 slice cheesecake. That’s unusual for me. Sometimes self care is a walk in the park, a warm bath or a good book. Sometimes it’s a 6 flavor cheesecake. I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.

Greetings and Salutations! I am so sorry about the pharmacy situation! You know, sometimes prescribers and pharmacies make taking medication so frustrating. I wonder how many people are not med compliant because they just give up the fight for getting meds.

Yes! Sometimes self-care IS a cheesecake. I agree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapien NH just shot down another cannabis legalization bill. Guess we're all going to continue to waste gas and give our money to VT, MA, ME and QC (and get unwanted fentanyl in our laced street weed).

I was just reading about CBD oil...shocked to learn that it is STILL a class 1 controlled substance (feds).


We have the stores here, all you want (with a script)...IF you can afford the high prices! I really do want to try CBD oil and find out if I receive any benefit for anxiety and pain. Also, I've been reading about using it for my diabetic kitty.

you rang?