Bipolar check-in #65

I'm sorry if I didn't catch this previously, but is there any way that you can avoid your sister? Or if she goes into a rage, tell her to "take a time out" and rather than argue/fight, state her behavior is unacceptable so won't be responded to (ignore her). I can't help but wonder if she needs some psychiatric medications. Maybe some antipsychotic, plus anger management classes.

I wouldn't say that my brother is quite to the degree of your sister, but he is very prone to extreme anger outbursts when anyone says something he disagrees with (especially if it is political). I've simply had to leave the premises those times and take a break from him. Sadly, he is not the type to ever apologize, but as I'm very good at letting people's offenses go, if the next time I see him he is calm and civil, I just do. My brother should really be in therapy and likely take medications. My sister agrees. But it can be hard. He lives alone, so by not having people with him a lot he just persists with that behavior. He is very lonely, but that's not quite enough yet to convince him to get the help.

I so feel for you that you have a very unwell dependent brother and an ailing scared mom. I know it is hard to know what's best to do or it can be frustrating when people won't take steps to make things easier for all. A few years ago, my family was in a similar situation with my dad whose behavior became reckless and he ended up in the ICU for over a week. It was sad that it ended in such a way. He has been in assisted living since. It is a relief, though. My siblings and I had to be tough in demanding he get help.

I know alcohol is not involved in your family's case, but I'll share that in Al-Anon, it is very emphasized that family members MUST take care of themselves first. Too often family members enable their loved ones with addiction. It becomes hard for any progress to take place. Ideally it is helpful for an intervention to happen, but if that's not possible (i.e. if all family members are in some form of crisis), stepping away may be needed. Yes, that sometimes causes resentment, but it can be for the best. It's not up to you to "save" your family IF they have no desire/intention of working with you to make positive changes.

My regular doctor was out of the office when I was sick so I saw a Dr. Smith. Man, is he on the ball! I had a urine sample for diabetes check and by the time I was in line at Sonic 5 minutes later, they had called and said I had a UTI and had called in Cipro. He’s been like this with every test. He read my stress test at 5:18 and passed on the results. Every test looks good. I’m healthy. I’m so relieved. That leaves stress/anxiety but I’ll let him tell me tomorrow what his diagnosis is. I’d like to change doctors. I do understand that stress can kill as surely as anything and I need to get it under control. This was eye opening for me. Doing a happy dance that I’m healthy.

About to go into a Zoom meeting.

Hugs to all.

Hope your Zoom meeting was good. I am not feeling so well, so I looked into the forum and found your post. You wrote one sentence that made me want to answer you instead of writing about my own problems. That sentence is this one:

"I do understand that stress can kill as surely as anything and I need to get it under control. "

May be I misread you, but you cannot control stress. The best way you can relate to stress is to take a good look at your life and see what has to change. After making a decision about changes, you have to sit down and make a plan for how to make those changes, step by step. You so often talk about moving out. How do you actively do that (if that is what you still want)?

The next is to learn relaxation techniques that you can use when a stressful event occurs. Then get enough sleep, physical exercise, healthy food and some good and healthy relations with other people.

In short: You have to give up one sort of life style to build another ... How will you do that? (And Jennifer, for God's sake, please stop using Ritalin. Ritalin is for ADHD and not for people with bipolar disorder. Google it).

Thank you for your post. I use Ritalin as prescribed by my med provider. I have stopped the Ritalin as of the time of the chest pain. I do want to move out and I do believe that would be in my best interest. Yes, you misunderstood my statement about stress. I was in fact referring to stress management techniques which I could better utilize. I am stuck emotionally in moving out versus staying. If I move, I will feel responsible for sending brother and mother to nursing homes. I haven’t worked through that guilt at this time. At the same time, I realize something must change. It’s a very tough decision for me. I plan to strengthen my stress management techniques, exercise better self care and limit contact with my sister along with setting better boundaries. I appreciate your concern.

I will go out for a meal. Hope that helps my general stability :

I went to a Turkish restaurant and got real Turkish food, lense soup and sish kebab. It tasted so good and it helped my thoughts to calm down.

Best wishes to all!

Ahh Soupe you're making me jealous. I'm trying to pay an overdue ambulance bill that's $1600. If it were up to me I would take an uber to get from the ER to the psych facility but that's not allowed because docs gotta make bank.