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Old Yesterday, 09:34 PM   #1041
wildflowerchild25
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #65

Ugh canít sleep. Seems like all my posts start with ugh now lol. I talked to my brother and SIL and supposedly theyíll be there Monday to assess the situation. I told them they HAVE to go in the house to see what Iím talking about.

I also said if anything changes let me know as soon as possible. Im not holding my breath that theyíll be there, surely.

Weíre going to take a trip down to Baltimore to visit the national aquarium the last weekend in June. Weíll possibly stay overnight, but Iím not sure. Itís about a 2.5 hour drive from where we are. We went to the crystal cave in PA in one day so itís not unusual for us to travel that far for a day trip. It might be easier (and certainly will be cheaper) to do it that way. My little Corolla is great on gas so weíll definitely be able to afford the extra gas. Who knows how high it will be by then! But itíll be fun.

RS was very angry today, not at me but at life in general. He said he almost yelled at me over a sandwich! Simply because I said he could have asked me to see if I wanted anything before he bought it for dinner. Weíre both lucky he didnít because I would have taken Chris and left. Not permanently but I am NOT putting up with that **** again. I told him I knew something was wrong and if he refused to talk about it I couldnít understand and try to help. So after I called my brother we both went outside and he talked to me. Yay for healthy relationships! And then we took a nice walk because it was BEAUTIFUL out today! It was very refreshing and made both of us feel better.

Iím just waiting for the seroquel to kick in now. Listening to a babbling brook to calm me. I was listening to my new podcast of choice but itís too funny I couldnít sleep for laughing!
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Old Today, 03:59 AM   #1042
Soupe du jour
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #65

I'm been doing fine, mood-wise, but oddly sleeping a lot. I get tired earlier than in the past. Not sure why since spring usually elevates my mood. It's not a problem, though.

I am a passionate cook, yet both the oven and stove in this rental house we live in are crap. The oven makes a loud screeching noise (akin to scratching a chalkboard) the whole time it's on and cooling off. The stove top often "decides" to go off of its own accord and sometimes doesn't allow me to put it on for a while. I literally smacked it in protest and it miraculously worked again, but I fear it's a fire hazard. We've told the landlady, and her suggestion is for us to feel free to replace them on our own dime. That's sort of common in Czech Republic, but as an American, I refuse to spend loads of money on someone else's house when I need the money for a future one of my own. But it's gotten to the point where I use my gas grill and toaster (that we own) for more things than I would ever otherwise. We would have purchased a toaster oven, but there's too little space on the counters.

I just got one big dark age spot-looking mole removed by laser and it's still looking like a wound. At the same time, I developed a flat pink conspicuous mole-like blemish on the bridge of my nose. Hubby is now catastrophising about the new mole. I wish he'd stop. I don't need to be panic visiting doctors left and right. I'm more pissed that it is cosmetically unpleasant. I already have a pink mole on the side of my nose that developed years ago.
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Old Today, 04:40 AM   #1043
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #65

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Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 View Post
Iím glad I have my group (for now). I realized Iím not going to get the answer I want out of my brother because heíll never admit that he straight up will not help and Iím never going to believe his excuses when he inevitably backs out so Iím not going to worry about it. Iím going to focus on what I personally can do and if it takes a year to get my momís move completed than thatís it. I have to care for myself as well.

I still want to get the garage done asap before it gets too hot. I mean if that can be sort of a ďstaging areaĒ that would be great. We could move donations out there and schedule pickups as needed. I donít even think one room at a time is gonna work here if me and RS are on our own. So Iím not going to put a time limit on it.

Iím glad I have an appt for my wrist, itís so uncomfortable. I mean the pain isnít extreme but itís enough to just be there like a dull ache. I canít hold books or my phone. I mean Iím pretty sure all that can be done is wear the brace for a few weeks but I need advice.

Iím going to ask my GI dr to refer me to a dietitian after my endoscopy. Iím supposed to eat low fat to lower my cholesterol and I know how to do that in theory but if I can have a clear plan/meal plan laid out for me I think it would help. Maybe Iíll lose weight, who knows. Now that Iím off vraylar Iím just struggling with binge eating. I got so used to it when I was so hungry that itís a tough habit to break.
Sorry to hear about your brother! It is good that you will have your wrist examined soon. I think it is smart to think about a meal plan.

May your day be so well as possible!
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Old Today, 04:57 AM   #1044
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #65

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Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post
I'm thinking of each of you and sending love. I so want to answer individually, but I'm exhausted so making myself hold off.

I'm having a rough time with the shooting. The children. I really broke down. I finally remembered to slow my breathing and do the 5 senses grounding exercise. That did help keep me from flying off into fractured pieces. Still, the horror and pain. All I can do is focus really hard on sending some kind of peace to the souls of the children and adults who were killed, and to those who remain. If I could go there and hold those parents, I would. Just hold them in my arms.

I saw my med dude. I'm so lucky, he's a really decent human being. He agreed to prescribe Haldol, 2mg., to take at bedtime. The hope is that it will quiet my mind some and also make me sleepy. I went to the pharmacy to pick it up & was told it has to be cleared through my insurance first. I mean, really? Old been around forever Haldol? Okay. *sigh* So hopefully it will be ready tomorrow and they'll deliver it at no cost.

I'm allowing myself to take 25mg Seroquel tonight, I so desperately need to sleep.

Okay sweetpeas, have a restful night.
I feel with you! I am so sorry because (it seems to me that) Americans are split in half. One half will fight for the right to own weapon, while the other half want a regulation.

I'm glad you got prescribed Haldol as you wished. And I hope Serequel helped you to sleep.

I wish you a good day!
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Old Today, 05:15 AM   #1045
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #65

I feel down today. Yesterday someone gave a characteristic about me (in a discussion) that did not fit. I have to be misunderstood as one of my triggers. I felt down. As if that was not enough some drunk teenagers or perhaps young adults stood at the street singing and yelling. It was past 2:30 in the night the last time I watched my clock.

I feel horrible today. I have had problems using my calming techniques, but feel a tiny bit better after I came in here!

May you all have a wonderful day!
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Old Today, 06:53 AM   #1046
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #65

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Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post


((((HUGS)))) When is your next medical appointment?
I see my endocronogolgist tommorow and he's the one who deals with the trans stuff and testosterone. Which is causing the high blood levels. I also plan on asking him if the testosterone is what caused the thryoid stuff.
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Old Today, 11:20 AM   #1047
Moose72
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #65

You know how I had that colposcopy last Friday? Well my doctor called. She said the biopsies came out ok but that the lab did some extra testing and now I have to have part of my cervix removed during a "LEEP" procedure because they saw "higher grade" spots with the biopsy. (This is really starting to annoy/slightly scare me! I mean do I have cancer or don't they know??) I can have it done without anything or I can be put to sleep for it. The first is at the Drs office and the second at the hospital - hospital I will be put to sleep, I believe. I need to send the Dr a portal message saying which one I want to do. The hospital would be preferable if I could find my way around. But I know exactly how to get to the clinic but it's gonna hurt more. 🤕 This is terrible. Nobody has said the C word yet but they've said "higher grade" which sounds good but I don't think it is. I haven't told anybody about any of this except fwb and Caleb- and you guys.
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Old Today, 11:40 AM   #1048
Nammu
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Default Re: Bipolar check-in #65

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
You know how I had that colposcopy last Friday? Well my doctor called. She said the biopsies came out ok but that the lab did some extra testing and now I have to have part of my cervix removed during a "LEEP" procedure because they saw "higher grade" spots with the biopsy. (This is really starting to annoy/slightly scare me! I mean do I have cancer or don't they know??) I can have it done without anything or I can be put to sleep for it. The first is at the Drs office and the second at the hospital - hospital I will be put to sleep, I believe. I need to send the Dr a portal message saying which one I want to do. The hospital would be preferable if I could find my way around. But I know exactly how to get to the clinic but it's gonna hurt more. 🤕 This is terrible. Nobody has said the C word yet but they've said "higher grade" which sounds good but I don't think it is. I haven't told anybody about any of this except fwb and Caleb- and you guys.
I had something similar to that done back in the eighties. It was done in the doctors office. I had precancerous spots. Oddly they zeroed in on that because my blood work showed precancerous elevation. So they then looked there. I felt no pain. They used like a cauterizing tool.
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