[cbeans]

Has anyone else been disowned by their adult child(ren) because their child(ren) feel that their upbringing was too troublesome or traumatic to forgive? How are you dealing with it? Any guideposts for acceptance, recovery, reconciliation?

[*Beth*]

Hi cbeans, Welcome to the forum.

I have two children, a daughter (age 36) and a son (age 33). They were raised in a close, loving family...my husband and I, and extended family on both sides. Both kids are doing really well in life as far as goals, education, careers. My son is happily married to his wife, and I adore her. My daughter has been married for 10 years, but is going through a divorce.


From the age of three (when I was pregnant with my son) my daughter began having serious anxiety symptoms. I have always been in therapy myself (since age 17), so when she began having mental health issues I took her to a therapist right away. She remained in therapy throughout her growing up years, but continued to struggle with anxiety and some depression. She received only love and support from my husband and I. She was always a very bright student and her teachers were also very supportive about her anxiety disorder.

My son was a "normal" kid who handled life amazingly well. He has a sunny, easy-going disposition.

My daughter and I were as close as a mom and daughter could be. I mean that seriously...we were definitely mother and daughter, but we were absolutely best friends, too.

Almost 4 years ago I had an episode of the worst mania I've ever experienced. I was under an unusually high amount of stress at the time, which fed the mania. Eventually, I was taken IP by the cops. My daughter's husband was cruel about my mental health breakdown and influenced my daughter to stop communicating with me. She went along with his wishes (unfortunately, he comes from a messed up family situation and has no idea what "family" really means).


My daughter has not communicated with me for almost 4 years, and my heart is broken into a billion pieces. I only hope that once her divorce is final, she contacts me. She does talk with my husband about once/month.

The wonderful aspect of my daughter's estrangement is that my son and I have become so much closer.

So that's my "disowned" story.

How many children do you have? What are their ages?

[Mountaindewed]

My favorite uncle has 4 kids. He went through a nasty divorce about 15 years ago. 2 of his kids he talks to and are close with. But his ex, who I've still been friendly with the couple times I've seen her have turned the other 2 kids agaisnt my uncle.1 of his kids refuses to talk to him or have anything to do with him. I think that is healthier then what my other cousin does to be honest. My other cousin sometimes talks to him. Sometimes lets him see his grandaughter but then other time she gets weird and doesn't talk to him and doesn't give a reason other then that shes manipulative and uses him. I'm close to these cousins as well as to my uncle. I just always have this motto of, you can like the person but not like their behavior.

[cbeans]

I'm a little too new here feel safe posting much identifying information about my family like number or age, but this situation involves my two oldest. And they're not speaking to my husband either.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by cbeans

I'm a little too new here feel safe posting much identifying information about my family like number or age, but this situation involves my two oldest. And they're not speaking to my husband either.

Thanks for sharing.
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

I cut my family off for a couple of years. I was angry, needed time. I needed to get help myself. And realize they're different people then the people that raised me. I left at 16 and had limited contact until I was around 23. Now at almost 40 I talk to my parents daily. We all needed to be viewed as adults not as parents child.