[HALLIEBETH87]

My granny I take care of and live with hurts me so much. She’s constantly talking about how much or Tamara I eat. She makes snide comments about my weight or size. She made a hateful
Comment tonight and I cant stop crying.

I felt so pretty today and now I jus have utter self hate!

Im
So triggered

[*Beth*]

Have you told her how much she hurts you with her comments?

[HALLIEBETH87]

Yes. She says nothing. No all well no apology nothing

[Soupe du jour]

Verbal abuse is talked about far less often than physical abuse, I think. I'm sorry you are the target of some. Has your granny always been critical like that? Or is it some more newish behavior? If more recent only, perhaps she might be either depressed or in some other mood state? Or, some elderly folks just get irritable as they get older and older. Please consider that.

If your granny has been consistently hypercritical to some people, but maybe not even all, her whole life, then that likely will never change. It never changed with my maternal grandmother. The woman was nasty (to abuse) and domineering towards my mom, my dad, and my siblings and I all of her life, with only superficially less critical times.

I remember the second to last time I saw my mother alive in a hospital ICU, she told me that the day before she was taken to the hospital my maternal grandmother stormed into the house raging at her. My mom specifically said my grandmother declared her a "Pig". My mom was obese and struggled with her weight most of her life, but also her liver had swelled five times the normal size by then, but didn't yet know it. That grandmother surely knew my mom had been feeling unwell, but didn't seem to care. When my mom died seven days later, I didn't see that grandmother shed a tear for the sweetest person I ever knew. Her daughter. These are just a couple of hundreds of examples of that grandmother's abuse. Again, my siblings and I received plenty, too. Some really nasty shocking stuff! And of course she was also quick with plenty of physical "discipline" in our childhoods. The type that can be labeled "beatings". But in the end, I'm trying hard to be forgiving towards her knowing that only a very very sick mind could act in such ways.

[HALLIEBETH87]

She says she was joking and thr reason I wa sunset was bc I was sleepy

[downandlonely]

My mom is very critical as well. She sent me a photo of myself when I was about 14 and underweight (about 70 lb). She said, "Look how thin you were and maybe will be again." I am now overweight and will never be that skinny again unless I am sick with cancer or something and dying. When I told her it was hurtful, she also claimed it was a joke and blamed it on me.

My mother will never change. Distancing myself from her has helped me. I'm sorry that you have to live with someone like that.

[~Christina]

Well I know just how big Granny is and she should look on the mirror. I think Matt will help you find the right way to deal with untrue shytty comments.

Last night I truly wanted to scream at her for upsetting you so bad.

Hallie you are so beautiful don’t let someone emotionally ugly get to you. I know easier said than done.

I love you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[HALLIEBETH87]

Y thanks guys. I went to a wedding with my boyfriend and it was wonderful