After 16 years I can't accept I need meds for life.

Victoria'smom · Jun 21, 2022 at 01:49 PM

My mom said when I'm ready for another dog she'll help. So I'm going to try and save $75/month towards the dog and next litter I will get one (2.5 years from now) But that's while paying the debts I recently wracked up. My goal is to save the pet fee, vet fee, and training fees before getting the service dog. H doesn't want us to have 2 dogs at the same time. He's a bit upset my mom said she'd pay for it. I didn't even ask. I just told her I told the breeder that I'm going to wait until next litter. And she asked how much it was so I told her.

~Christina · Jun 21, 2022 at 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

@~Christina, it does sound just like me. But it does take my personality away. Shouldn't I keep looking until I find meds that don't? I know it's not his responsibility and I tell him that. He is a saint.

I don't like who I am on the meds. Quiet, no motivated, thicker than I should be. I've been taking this particular cocktail for about a year regularly. So I don't know what to do. I don't know how to approach my therapist about this because we're fairly new to each other. I have a feeling she's just going to say talk to pdoc. I don't know how to make my life less chaotic..

I don't think you're being rude. I just really don't know how to stop this.

Yes you need to keep on a quest for finding the right meds and more so doses of them maybe you don’t need 50mg of X while on 100 of Y ….out of ever speciality of medicine psych is the hardest to find a good balance. I use to take 200mg of Seroquel XR for over a year and it did nothing for my sleep really. Last IP my pdoc there said “ nope I want you on 50mg Seroquel IR and see how it goes ! Well I finally was able to get consistent sleep. So its micro changing medications that I think where fine tuning can make a bigger difference than we could think of.

I would think if you are open and honest with your T about wanting and needing to find a good combo of meds she will have no problem working with you on learning coping and life skills because medications will only go so far. We gotta get up daily and do all the hard work we don’t want to. But by doing all that stuff we can find a rhythm and feel like we matter and our accomplishments are worthy of celebrating.

Just stay in the game and push to truly enjoy your life

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bizi · Jun 21, 2022 at 09:06 PM

love sent your way !
bizi

*Beth* · Jun 21, 2022 at 10:06 PM

Mm, do you feel there's a self-destructiveness to not wanting to take meds and instead, to fly too close to the sun? And if you do feel the self-destructiveness do you feel it, at least in part, because you're angry about some things?

I'm asking because when I feel anger towards certain people (my t for example) I feel like doing self-destructive things (such as taking too many pills). I want to let that person know in a major way that they have caused me emotional pain.

Victoria'smom · Jun 22, 2022 at 12:35 AM

I think it's often a sign I'm going up or going down.

*Beth* · Jun 22, 2022 at 09:50 AM

Well, then that is definitely treatable with medication. Your work in therapy seems to be, at least in part, how to accept that you will benefit from meds.

Victoria'smom · Jun 22, 2022 at 11:08 AM

So my husband brought up raising puppies to pass the cgcu test. It would be an investment. But our returns will be better and it's something we can do. We'd have to start off slow. 1 dog at a time.

BeyondtheRainbow · Jun 24, 2022 at 07:21 PM

How are you doing MM?

Victoria'smom · Jun 25, 2022 at 02:50 AM

I'm not sure I'm hyper focused on this dog idea. I'm calmer but flat. T wants me to talk to my Dr. my concerns is I don't sleep w/o the thorazine. It looks like my CP is getting worse. I know I should be grateful that I'm not in a wheelchair yet but it angers me and to know it will continue to get worse especially after moving to a colder climate bothers me.

Fuzzybear · Jul 21, 2022 at 11:29 AM

Hugs

(sorry I can't add much to this discussion, I've had lots of distress for want of a different word, from meds)
I hope you feel a bit better soon

(For me personally I never find should'ing myself helps at all.

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bizi Bizi is bizi Member Since Nov 2005 Location: cajun country Posts: 10,848 18 43.8k hugs given	Jun 21, 2022 at 09:06 PM #63 love sent your way ! bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg.
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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 14,903 (SuperPoster!) 11 5,429 hugs given	Jun 22, 2022 at 12:35 AM #65 I think it's often a sign I'm going up or going down. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Jun 22, 2022 at 09:50 AM #66 Well, then that is definitely treatable with medication. Your work in therapy seems to be, at least in part, how to accept that you will benefit from meds. __________________
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BeyondtheRainbow Wise Elder Member Since Apr 2015 Location: US Posts: 9,226 (SuperPoster!) 9 9,383 hugs given	Jun 24, 2022 at 07:21 PM #68 How are you doing MM? __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jul 21, 2022 at 11:29 AM #70 Hugs (sorry I can't add much to this discussion, I've had lots of distress for want of a different word, from meds) I hope you feel a bit better soon (For me personally I never find should'ing myself helps at all. __________________
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