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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#441
Quote:
Is Luvox prescribed to you for OCD? __________________ |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,626
8 1,674 hugs
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#442
Well, the financial situation got resolved. Much too late for me to do anything, but I'm OK in the short term. I'm not losing sleep over the missed neurology appointment (crappy doc), but I was able to reschedule my missed interview for next week. A couple of other employers got back to me and have a couple of hoops they want me to jump through. I'll iron out my interview clothes, shave and start jumping those hoops in the morning.
I was a treated to a "Daddy know best." lecture where he rehashed his newest attack: I'm supposedly keeping my blind dying mother away, because I haven't cleaned my (already clean) house and he, in all his (conveniently found) principles, will not let her stay with me in my "dirty" house. He won't let me visit them at his place (the home I grew up in) because of "bugs." I had bed bugs about two years ago (Pain in the rear end to get rid of!) and ever since he's acted like I'm a walking biohazard, even going so far as to "warn" other family that I was going to "infest" them by being there. I always thought gaslighting was subtle? This is... this is... At any rate, I'll scrub the floors. I'll vacuum the carpets. I'll even spring for a carpet cleaner rental. I'll make my clean house shiny for him. I shouldn't have to submit to an inspection to see my mother, but there we are. I'll play the game, because he's the gatekeeper. Once his role is finished... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, but I'll likely be on my way out. __________________ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Blue_Bird, giddykitty, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,153
8 13.4k hugs
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#443
@Aurelius710, I'm sorry your dad is so extreme in his expectations. If needed, could you take her out to lunch, so your place is not an issue? If money for that is an issue, a cheaper fast food place could be fine. Doesn't your mom, herself, have any say in this? Blindness need not take away her say. I bet you'd also sometimes like to see her alone without your dad.
__________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
*Beth*, Aurelius710, giddykitty, Nammu
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#444
Quote:
Do you know any relaxation exercises you can use instead of using a med in front of challengers? I find relaxation exercises very important in my life. Had to work with them for some months before they sat. May be you can try to make a list of what is normal in your life and repeat and repeat that for yourself until it sits. By the way: It is OK to feel exhausted after being out for a friend chat. Be kind to yourself today! |
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Nammu
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#445
Quote:
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#446
This morning has been almost "normal" according to how my mornings used to be before Covid. I only used a little over time at the breakfast table. I have done my physical exercises and read my notes (about how to use coping strategies) to live my life as best I can with my disorders. I will soon lay down to do self hypnosis (on coping strategies) before I go out for a little walk.
Best wishes to all! |
*Beth*, Blue_Bird, giddykitty, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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*Beth*, giddykitty, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
(SuperPoster!)
9 95k hugs
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#447
The pain medicine is really helping with my tongue but it’s messing up my sleep something fierce. It’s why I’ve been up since 4:00 am. It makes me sleepy and yet…. I’ll use it very sparingly.
I’m going to work on getting things done more consistently. Until now it’s been hit or miss but I feel like I’ve come over a hump now. It feels good. I unexpectedly came across a bookmark with my brother’s picture and obituary on it that the funeral home put together and while it startled me and set off fresh pain, I was okay. I think I’ll look for ways to really enjoy this summer. Fun and pleasurable things and activities. Bible study the other day was a good start. I hope everyone has a peaceful day. |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Blue_Bird, giddykitty, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour
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*Beth*
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,112
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,736 hugs
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#448
I did decently yesterday. I can't tell if I have really bad agoraphobia or just no desire to go out because there isnt anything to do and I don't need anything. I just watched TV all day and got mexican food for dinner. Today I don't have any plans although I might go to TJ Maxx.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Blue_Bird, giddykitty, Sunflower123
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,262
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
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#449
Sir was very insistent that I get up today. I don’t know why as he had food and the sun is not out so he didn’t get in his bed. His bed is right where the morning sun hits, but no sun today. I think he knows this is Friday! I used to have aqua fitness on fri morning. But there’s a new instructor on fridays and I can’t read her lips so I can’t follow the movements as she’s in deep water and doesn’t get out to show us the moves. So I no longer go on Friday. She’s just temporary though, for the summer. But meanwhile Sir wants me to stick to the routine!
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, giddykitty, Sunflower123
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*Beth*, Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,719
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10 14.3k hugs
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#450
Someone called the cops yesterday and reported that they were my roommate and I wasn't giving them their stuff back. Thing is, I don't have a roommate and have never had one ever. I have my own apartment and am the only one living here. I wasn't even home when it happened, was at my friend's house for his birthday. I live in a supportive housing program due to my schizoaffective disorder/ bipolar, and being on SSI. It really stressed me out and upset me but my care manager said not to worry about it, they know I'm a good tennant and there are a lot of mentally unstable people who live in the building so it could have been that. They said it was a .some number, I forget the code for it, but someone who frequently calls the police for random and false things.
So paranoia is one of my big symptoms and that whole situation really set it off yesterday, I was in my apartment shaking and crying. Had to take my prn klonopin to get to calm down and get to sleep. I'm still a little on edge today Last night something else happened, an apartment down the hall had police and police dogs come to their apartment and the tenants boyfriend assaulted the police officer then damaged the property. So yeah, lots of drama and crap always going on here __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Aurelius710, giddykitty, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,262
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
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#451
Oh, blue bird 🐦 I’m sorry. That is a lot of drama. Hopefully it calms down now for a while.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Blue_Bird
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Blue_Bird
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,819 hugs
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#452
Day 3 and past self is really sorry to present self. May this be a lesson for future self.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Aurelius710, Blue_Bird, Nammu, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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*Beth*
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,112
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,736 hugs
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#453
My anxiety has been really bad since I woke up this morning. I don't really know why. I went to bed feeling fine. I even took my meds correctly to try to make it better. But I've just had nonstop med resistant anxiety and I've been insanely hungry and tired because I've taken my Geodon in the AM. I woke up at 1AM just worrying about a lot of stuff. My nephews came over with like a 2 hours notice so my mom ran to Costco real fast but I had already been into my TV show that is not apropriate for them to be seeing any. My phone is acting weird and I'm worried I have a virus on it and its stressing me out so I've been watching TV instead. I have a couple packages today so theres that. But yeah I just have really sucky anxiety today. My moods and depression are fine though.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Sunflower123
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,626
8 1,674 hugs
given |
#454
Quote:
My car is often included in my dad's rants about the house. I "trash" it just like I "trash" everything else. Car's fine. It's clean. I have no issues with it, performance wise. CDs. His issue is with a small box of CDs I have in the back seat that I use for... well, music. He has taken my refusal to remove that box on his command personally, threatened to disown me over it and/or threatened to call potential employers (the ones I made the mistake of telling him about) to "warn" them of my "trashiness." My father's moods swing wildly, from Father Christmas levels of generosity to "Everyone, even my own family, is against me." levels of paranoia to legit OCD levels of cleanliness obsession to
Possible trigger:
To give you an idea of how fast this man's moods shift, my father decided, because of some crackers (seriously), to leave my mom and never come back. He was gone 8 hours before returning without a word. This is the kind of man who has inserted himself into both me and my mom's affairs. I absolutely want 1 on 1 time with my mother (and I'm sure she does too), but my dad's as much involved (to my chagrin) in my affairs as hers. If I did an end run around him and picked my mom up for an afternoon out, my dad would not be above doing something drastic to try and spite me or her, possibly both of us. An objectively unstable man with a relative amount of power who no one will bring to account. __________________ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
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*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, giddykitty, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 1,639
6 3,229 hugs
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#455
@bizi I'm still on the Vraylar. ...for now.
@Soupe du jour thanks for the shout out. Im around. Unfortunately, i dont usually have time nor focus to read many posts, so i apologize im not around more. Tags work though! __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Nammu, Soupe du jour
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 1,639
6 3,229 hugs
given |
#456
Upset today because i sent a good morning text to my mother and she didn't respond. I know she saw it too. It's come to the point where mom is getting tired of her helpless child, i think. I just feel so alone. Trying to turn it around and think of cats that i love. They never disappoint. Precious little creatures. <3
__________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
*Beth*, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,819 hugs
given |
#457
Gotta get clean for this guy. Can't OD on him. How else will he get his treats?
yawningbean.jpeg __________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Aurelius710, giddykitty, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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*Beth*, Aurelius710, giddykitty, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, unlived
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,262
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given |
#458
Oh, he’s lovely! 🥰
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
MuddyBoots
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 1,639
6 3,229 hugs
given |
#459
Cute kitty! <3
And i was wrong this time about my mother. Well maybe she is still overwhelmed by me, but she did message back this time. __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
*Beth*, Aurelius710, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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*Beth*, MuddyBoots
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,112
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,736 hugs
given |
#460
I feel like I'm just spiraling into anxiety and paranoia and I don't know what the cause of it is. My anxiety was tough all day. I took all my mornings meds as I should. Then of course I was really hungry. But I just wanted the anxiety gone so I didn't care. I turned on Top Model all day. The anxiety just didn't go away though. My mom stopped at Sams Club to do some shopping and she got me a hot dog and a piece of pizza because you know, med hunger. That was at 11 and then I realized I didn't take my stomach med so I took that and my hunger faded. I haven't eaten since and I don't plan to. But my sister decided to bring my nephews over for the afternoon and I guess I should be understanding but they have been screaming and being wild nonstop since noon. I think everyone wants the next one to be a girl. I just seem to be super stressed out about this name and gender change thing and my phone is going slow and I don't know why and its like whenever I think rationally I'm ok about things but overall I just seem to be a mess for no reason. I'm not having any symptoms so I don't think it would be the hematrcrit. But being up half the night at age 29 worrying so much when a doctor has told you your at a higher risk for a heart attack or a stroke isnt very healthy I don't think.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
*Beth*, Anonymous 42424, Aurelius710, Sunflower123
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