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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#241
Well, what do you mean by he'll "get angry" with you?
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
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Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#242
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
23.7k hugs
given |
#243
Well, it sounds like you're setting yourself up to be abused. I don't believe in telling adult people to do or not do something, but I will say that the idea of you being hurt makes me extremely sad.
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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#244
Possible trigger:
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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*Beth*
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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#245
I swear to god this was laced with meth
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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#246
My case worker is very concerned about me for some reason. Says I'm obviously on an upswing. I'm worried she's going to tell my pdoc I got high (I had a bit of word fvomit) and I'll have to go back to the state hospital. Fckc I can't even type I'm so anxious.. Like I'm on a laptop and my legs are shaking violently. She says I'm setting myself up to be abused just like Beth said. I need a break from hurting myself, let someone else do it for a bit! It might not even go down that road again, the dude seems a lot cooler than he used to be. I need to go skiing again, I just got a bunch of work done on my car. and now I''m broke but I think I can afford a $45 lift ticket and some gas.
Also there's like a million "covers" of Apple Bottom Jeans (it's a meme) and it's fccking hilarious. My favorite is "Louis Armstrong's" welp, we just hit the record windchill ever on Mt. Washington in scenic, windiest recorded place on Earth, New Hampshire __________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again Last edited by MuddyBoots; Feb 03, 2023 at 06:15 PM.. |
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*Beth*, Nammu
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
23.7k hugs
given |
#247
I think skiing is a great idea, Boots, although I don't know about that extreme weather landing on you. Using physical energy can be a dynamic way to channel high mental energy, as I'm sure you already know.
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MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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4,819 hugs
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#248
Yeah, I'm thinking sometime midweek this week when ticket prices are down and the temps go up. We might even get a little bit of the white stuff Tuesday/Wednesday.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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*Beth*
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
23.7k hugs
given |
#249
Quote:
The prices of lift tickets, wow. One of the ski resorts here (well, in the mountains, not right here ), a lift ticket is $104. For kids it's $84. I used to go to the snow once/year when the kids were young so they could experience it. The beauty is incredible. But after my horrible experience sliding down the mountainside on my bare back, then riding back home in sopping Levi's, I tend to head west, not east __________________ |
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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4,819 hugs
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#250
Quote:
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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*Beth*
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
23.7k hugs
given |
#251
Stowe looks like such a cute village (I just looked it up). There's a covered bridge! We must have been in Vermont when I was a little girl, because I remember my parents saying they'd drive there and we'd go through a covered bridge. I remember seeing it as we approached and feeling really excited.
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MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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4,819 hugs
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#252
I've never actually been to Stowe (when I'm up that way I either go to Smuggs or Bolton Valley), but yeah, covered bridges are so New England.
I just went for a walk in -5dF weather, windchill of -24. So well prepared (two pairs of pants and a long sleeve and a hoodie and a hat and gloves) only my neck was cold. Of course my eyelashes froze though :P __________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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*Beth*
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*Beth*
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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4,819 hugs
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#253
The mania was bad this morning. ACT is checking up on me daily in the afternoons. I had enough sense to take a PRN Haldol and that helped a lot but it's wearing off now. It's true what they say, "There ain't no rest for the wicked [awesome]." The only R's in Boston are in "idea" and "soda." I'm hearing thirteen again. She's just saying "come on Sam. You know what you have to do." There's a lot of things I have to do, but I don't know what she's referring to. Maybe stop the doxepin? One of the people on ACT said I have to be careful about how much melatonin I take so maybe I should only take one tonight and see how that goes. I took four last night and slept five broken hours, even though I wasn't all that hot because I used this blanket I stole from the hospital. I'm sure they don't miss it. I have like five bottles of lotion from the hospital. This guy I'm talking with used lemon essential oils to clean my acoustic with. Didn't know you could do that. Thought you needed wood polish. I forget where I put the hex heads. My new bike sucks. Bulimia made me better at deepthroating.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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*Beth*, Nammu
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*Beth*, Hexagon
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
23.7k hugs
given |
#254
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MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
(SuperPoster!)
4,819 hugs
given |
#255
Okay so I'm pissed. My therapist said either she or my pdoc willl give me a call around 1:30 and it's 2:30 now and nothing. I'm supposed to get an emergency appointment tomorrow and I don't know what time it is I'm supposed to take the cats to the vet.
Past 3 and still nothing. Way to not give a flying fk about your patientst. Now I'm worried they're going to IEA me again EDIT: Finally got the xcall back. She "lost track of time" and still no word froom doc so she just called to say she'll call back when she hears froj hte doc __________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again Last edited by MuddyBoots; Feb 06, 2023 at 05:18 PM.. |
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
23.7k hugs
given |
#256
Ooooh, that's aggravating! "Lost track of time"
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
(SuperPoster!)
4,819 hugs
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#257
Yeah, and now I have an emergency appointment with pdoc tomoorrow but I don't know what time it's at and it's 1hr 20 minutes past the time the agency closes to patients (idk how long they're their they stay afterwards and nake calls).
It's stressing me out and I decided to go for a walk and I just wanna get druuuuuunk. Had my hand on my pepper spray the whole way and flicked off the safety several times even though I only saw one person who is usually nice t me but it's always the nice guys. That's why I strictly fcck addicts. Ughhh just got another call saying gthey're still trrying to figure **** out and I'll get a call in the AM __________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again Last edited by MuddyBoots; Feb 06, 2023 at 06:41 PM.. |
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*Beth*, Nammu
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#258
I'm sorry boots
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
(SuperPoster!)
4,819 hugs
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#259
It's been over an hour since they opened and d still no word on when my appointment TODAY is.1
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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*Beth*, Nammu
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Crone
Nammu
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#260
How aggravating!
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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