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MuddyBoots
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Default Aug 02, 2022 at 06:50 AM
  #61
Possible trigger:

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Default Aug 02, 2022 at 09:13 AM
  #62
I’ve heard that said before about opioids being a mood stabilizer. Heard it a lot actually. I wish medicine wasn’t so politically driven. Then maybe it would be between a doctor and a patient as to what works best.

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Default Aug 02, 2022 at 12:14 PM
  #63
I hate to tell you what you already know, but opioid abuse takes a lot of lives. I know you're slipping into depression & might not care at the moment, but we care about you. You're intelligent & have a sense of humor I find hilarious (when you're in the mood). You might be on the cusp of getting your own place, and I remember you writing that you have dreams of pursuing a STEM program. Opioids might be the quickest way to screw things up. OK. Lecture over. Smile & don't use...
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Default Aug 02, 2022 at 03:13 PM
  #64
But opioids aren't mood stabilizers, they're calming and anxiety reducing - until they aren't. Because when the effect wears off people who use them get suuuuper moody. And, of course, there's the overdose issue. What Buddha said ^^^^^^
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Default Aug 04, 2022 at 01:51 AM
  #65
MuddyBoots

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MuddyBoots
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Default Aug 07, 2022 at 10:36 AM
  #66
I don't get the point of being on meds right now if I'm not going to be stable until my body "resets" anyways. Invega is just giving me all side effects (including a possible allergic reaction) no benefits. If my new doc doesn't listen to me I'm quitting ACT.

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If any chord that I could strum
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And shatter all the bones
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Default Aug 07, 2022 at 11:15 AM
  #67
Quote:
Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
I don't get the point of being on meds right now if I'm not going to be stable until my body "resets" anyways. Invega is just giving me all side effects (including a possible allergic reaction) no benefits. If my new doc doesn't listen to me I'm quitting ACT.
I really hope the new doc listens to you. It's very frustrating when doctors don't listen to concerns about side effects.
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Default Aug 07, 2022 at 03:24 PM
  #68
I also hope your new doc listens to you. I have had the ones who listen and the ones who don't and it is a world of difference. It's very affirming to have confidence in your doctor.

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Default Aug 11, 2022 at 12:42 PM
  #69
THey promise ****ing hope and then they withhold the means and I am sick of it. I am sick of this world. Why can't they STOP TRYING TO HELP EXCEPT when I explicitly ask because THEY (the ACT team) are just getting in my ****ing way and I am ****ing sick of it and I am ****ing ready to die because NOBODY can ****ing help me.

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If any chord that I could strum
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Default Aug 11, 2022 at 01:11 PM
  #70
I totally hear you and feel for you, Boots. It feels to me like mental health providers promise a lot more than they deliver. Did your pdoc appointment turn out to not be helpful?

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Default Aug 11, 2022 at 01:12 PM
  #71
No. The ACT team said they'd pick up my meds.... so it's doubtful I'll ever see a dose of them. I just called their crisis line...over 20 minutes ago and no call back... good thing too because right now I think all I'll do is threaten them.

i'm convinced I don't actually have any mental illness. I *had* PTSD and they said "easy access" because I was wearing sweatpants and now they're just trying to get someone who *had* promise and breaking them down and trying to get me to off myself. Well, I quit. No more meds. No more peer support. No more fccking nonsense that is only intended for harm. I suggest everyone quit treatment now before they completely take over your mind.

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If any chord that I could strum
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Last edited by MuddyBoots; Aug 11, 2022 at 01:29 PM..
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Default Aug 11, 2022 at 01:46 PM
  #72
I'm sorry they're making it so difficult for you. It's trite, but all I can write is, "hang in there." Pretty pitiful response, isn't it? Just know you're valued here.
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Default Aug 11, 2022 at 06:44 PM
  #73
I get it, Boots. I really do.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 06:39 AM
  #74
I get it too Boots

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 07:47 AM
  #75
I didn't mean what I said. Yes, treatment is incredibly flawed, but I think without meds, therapy, and IP I would be dead so this is at least a half-step up from that. And I did get my meds and took them. I hope the Lamictal helps calm me down. I think my pdoc thinks I'm bp rather than schizoaffective which also gives me a bit of hope as it feels to me like a (slightly) less severe concept.

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 08:38 AM
  #76
I’m glad you didn’t quit. As you get to know the act team and how to work with them hopefully things will smooth out. But man, that pharmacy! Not cool at all.

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Default Sep 26, 2022 at 01:17 AM
  #77
So the lamictal is working pretty well in preventing mania and depression. Still having crazy emotions though, but that comes with the territory of the demon thing I feel like nobody truly understands. It's literally consuming me and I can see them at any given time so I'll just stop before they make me hurt anyone any more than I already have.

Au revoir

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
So I could never strum again
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Default Sep 26, 2022 at 04:20 PM
  #78
Later, @MuddyBoots! Hope you decide to pop in from time to time.
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Default Oct 06, 2022 at 11:19 PM
  #79
Hey @MuddyBoots, hi chickie
How're you doing?

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Default Oct 14, 2022 at 08:27 PM
  #80
Boots, you out there?

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