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cashart10
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Default Jul 15, 2022 at 08:31 PM
  #1
Haven’t been around for a very, very long time! How is everyone? I’ve been stable for almost 2 years but now…not so much. Losing control of mania and flying high with the tempts you to do bad things kind of anxiety. So worried I’ll end up in the hospital and my husband and I are smack dab in the middle of a divorce so wouldn’t that be wonderful! I need money from my job. Everything is scary. Ahhhhhhhh! My therapist had an emergency session with me today and called my psych. She put me back on seroquel and had me take klonapin tonight neither of which I am very happy about and still don’t see myself sleeping.

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Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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Default Jul 15, 2022 at 09:20 PM
  #2
Hi cashart, sorry things are hectic right now but welcome back.

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Default Jul 15, 2022 at 09:28 PM
  #3
Hi cashart, welcome back

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Default Jul 15, 2022 at 11:25 PM
  #4
cashart! Hi! I'm so sorry that you're having a rough go right now. It sounds like you have a full plate. How are you feeling about the divorce?

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Default Jul 16, 2022 at 02:58 AM
  #5
Nice to see you back, cashart10! I definitely remember you and am happy to learn you had a long period of stability. You can definitely get that back, but of course it's understandable that the stress of a divorce would bring on a new episode. Getting the emergency assistance from your mental healthcare team is good. You can get through this!

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Dx: Bipolar type 1

Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg
* Seroquel IR (quetiapine IR) 50 mg
* Lyrica (pregabalin) 100 mg
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Default Jul 21, 2022 at 09:04 AM
  #6
I totally agree dude.
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Default Jul 22, 2022 at 03:33 PM
  #7
Hey cash. Sorry that you’re unwell

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Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety
OCD

celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin
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Default Jul 22, 2022 at 04:47 PM
  #8
Sending hugs! Let us know how you're doing

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If any chord that I could strum
Make me feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter all the bones
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Default Jul 22, 2022 at 09:07 PM
  #9
Welcome back Cash. I’m sorry your struggling and with divorce going on Remember to do self care even though the world is spinning

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Default Aug 07, 2022 at 06:15 PM
  #10
Thank you all very much! Trying not to disappear again. I just had to go to the hospital for 2 weeks the very next day and since have been so down that I can hardly do anything. The IP dr was very aggressive with my meds to bring me down from mania so he completely removed me from several meds including my Wellbutrin and trintellix which were my only defense against depression. Now I’m working with my own psych to get everything straightened out. I go back to work on Wed after almost a month off and I’m very nervous. I’m even having trouble showering and still worried about panic attacks. I can’t take xanex at work, it will knock me out. Sigh…I go see my pdoc again tomorrow so we’ll see what she says.

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Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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Default Aug 07, 2022 at 08:56 PM
  #11
Cashart10

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Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
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Default Aug 08, 2022 at 07:28 AM
  #12
Glad to see you back but sorry to hear you are struggling. It's good that you're working diligently with health care providers to get back on track.

Divorce is very unpleasant. I found switching gears back into being a single-person very hard, but once i made it, i never went back and it's been 26 years! Partnerships are very complicated with bipolar. I feel i am managing my life better now that i am single than when i was married. It's a lot more predictable. I have privacy to suffer my depressions and freedom to enjoy my manias. I was recently tempted by a partnership with a younger man, but ultimately i decided i'm better off on my own. Luckily things had not gotten too far and we were able to part without rancor.

So: hang in there, an easier life awaits you!
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Default Aug 13, 2022 at 03:37 AM
  #13
Welcome back Cash! I’ve been stable for several years (except for a few very mild hints of mania and depression) and haven’t even explored here in months. I was able to hang onto my stability throughout seeing my son and his husband go through an ugly split and the divorce is going to be just as messy. This led to housing uncertainty for me as my son-in-law’s brother decided he didn’t want me around after my son left permanently. Thank God my oldest son and his sweet fiancée opened their home to me and now I’m here, moved in and thriving. And I got through it all without even a single twinge of depression or mania. Added to the bliss is my SIL found he and his mother miss me terribly and wish I’d never moved out. We talk or text almost every day, and our relationship is completely new and improved. He is also going to continue doing my hair, which he has for years and the prospect of being without someone to manage my hair was almost worse than the idea of being homeless. Haha!

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DX: Bipolar 1
Anxiety
Tardive dyskinesia
Mild cognitive impairment

RX:
Celexa 20 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM
Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN
Lamictal 500 mg
Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression)
Trazodone 150 mg
Zyprexa 7.5 mg

Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com
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