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Default Aug 11, 2022 at 11:54 PM
  #421
So, I'll be on the job a day later than anticipated, but my supervisor said starting Tuesday would be a done deal and even gave my start time! I'm thrilled!

The leaky pipe became a very leaky pipe today. I managed to plug the hole (somewhat) with duct tape and got the replacement parts lined up to install in the morning. My mistake: asking my dad for a roll of duct tape and answering honestly. I get home, plug the hole and start housekeeping stuff. I pick up my phone after two hours: eight missed calls from both dad and cousin. Cue faux indignation, gaslighting and interference to the point I could realistically call the cops on them both. They want to fix my sink for me, even though I know how?

The utilitarian part of me says let 'em, especially if they're paying for it. Of course, there's the "Let's rip out the pipe and let the house rot away under a standing pool of water so his "commands" are ignored and his investment is for naught." part of me. Not a wise move at this juncture. Anybody ever met anyone that makes you want to "cut off your nose to spite your face?"

Tomorrow will be interesting. Hopefully a resolution on the plumbing side of things!

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 01:19 AM
  #422
My mom surprised me a week ago. She's help me clean and pack my entire life. My hair was so bad I had to cut it really short but she dyed it so it doesn't look so bad. We had got an eviction notice right before she came. But they're letting us live out our lease.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 02:59 AM
  #423
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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
My mom surprised me a week ago. She's help me clean and pack my entire life. My hair was so bad I had to cut it really short but she dyed it so it doesn't look so bad. We had got an eviction notice right before she came. But they're letting us live out our lease.
Your haircut is really cute and the colors are cool, Miguel'smom. I'm glad you're mostly packed and had some valuable help. My husband and I have had the assistance of a friend, so I know the value.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 03:04 AM
  #424
We're about to leave for some necessary tasks relating to our upcoming new home. I hope the current owner remembers to unlock everthing. Hubby sent a reminder, but didn't hear back. I think I wrote that I'm doing all of the measurements. At least I'll be alone and not tagging along barely understanding the business stuff. On our way here yesterday I asked Hubby to not have his sister and nephew tag along. I reconsidered this mkrning, but he had already told them that it's best not to have too many people there. I guess I am relieved, as both are kind of types that would get too involved. Plus, I don't want anyone breathing down my neck.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 05:57 AM
  #425
First dose of Lamictal down. Next week I'm gonna tell my fss person to NEVER pick up my meds unless I explicitly state I am unable to drive, cannot get a ride, and need them delivered to my place. I'm just hoping one day they'll switch me over to a month's supply instead of a week's because going through this shyt every week is exhausting.

The increased thorazine dose is helping me sleep so for that I am grateful.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 07:52 AM
  #426
Things have turned around. My sisters due date has been pushed to September 27th. So she's pretty stable right now. She sounded really good when she came to pick up my nephews. My mom said she is excited about going back to work. My lawyer called last night and said everything is all set to have my name changed at the end of the month. She'll be with me and my mom at the court house and the judge will ask some questions and it should go fairly easy. I am super excited. I'm really looking forward to my vacation now that I know my sister is stable and the name thing is for sure happening. I feel pretty good today.

I emailed my therapist half an hour ago because my therapy session is 2 days after the name change. And I don't think I can just go into a session without warning with a new name. I hope she isn't too pissed at me for not telling her. I just got my dates confused. I thought the court date was the day after our session. My brain has been a bit foggy lately I don't know if its what I'm eating or the Prestiq. I've just been getting confused on my dates.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 12:22 PM
  #427
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurelius710 View Post
So, I'll be on the job a day later than anticipated, but my supervisor said starting Tuesday would be a done deal and even gave my start time! I'm thrilled!

The leaky pipe became a very leaky pipe today. I managed to plug the hole (somewhat) with duct tape and got the replacement parts lined up to install in the morning. My mistake: asking my dad for a roll of duct tape and answering honestly. I get home, plug the hole and start housekeeping stuff. I pick up my phone after two hours: eight missed calls from both dad and cousin. Cue faux indignation, gaslighting and interference to the point I could realistically call the cops on them both. They want to fix my sink for me, even though I know how?

The utilitarian part of me says let 'em, especially if they're paying for it. Of course, there's the "Let's rip out the pipe and let the house rot away under a standing pool of water so his "commands" are ignored and his investment is for naught." part of me. Not a wise move at this juncture. Anybody ever met anyone that makes you want to "cut off your nose to spite your face?"

Tomorrow will be interesting. Hopefully a resolution on the plumbing side of things!
So, the plumbing issue is resolved... somewhat. The part of the plumbing that was causing the issue was what feeds hot water to the kitchen sink and because everything under there was installed in the 70s, they had a completely different setup, sizes, the works. My replacement parts didn't work and the proper ones had to be special ordered. So, I just yanked (proverbially speaking) the offending connection out and capped the line. I know a proper hardware store in the area, but they're about 45 minutes out.

At any rate, no leak, but also no hot water for the kitchen sink. I'll take it for the meanwhile!

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"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 02:03 PM
  #428
Got about 4.5 hours of sleep last night. Did more research on rebound insomnia and figure it will take a couple more weeks to get though this. So I’m planing on “ Keep Calm & carry on”. Until my appointment in two weeks.

Today in fitness the instructor read a leaflet on healthy living. The instructors are very much into whole health. Among other things it was suggested to take a picture each day of something that inspires you. I think I could find something for a couple weeks but after that I’d have a hard time. But I’m gonna do that starting today. That and the suggestion to end each day with gratitude. I do like to find things to be grateful for but doing it each day would be more helpful.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 02:25 PM
  #429
Third client in crisis this week. It’s a hard time
For
Folks.

Be kind to yourselves y’all

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 02:29 PM
  #430
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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
My mom surprised me a week ago. She's help me clean and pack my entire life. My hair was so bad I had to cut it really short but she dyed it so it doesn't look so bad. We had got an eviction notice right before she came. But they're letting us live out our lease.

Oh, wow. I'm so glad your mom was able to help you out like she did. And your hair will be so much easier to care for now.

Oh! I just saw your pic. CUTE hair cut and I love the colors!

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 02:33 PM
  #431
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Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
First dose of Lamictal down. Next week I'm gonna tell my fss person to NEVER pick up my meds unless I explicitly state I am unable to drive, cannot get a ride, and need them delivered to my place. I'm just hoping one day they'll switch me over to a month's supply instead of a week's because going through this shyt every week is exhausting.

The increased thorazine dose is helping me sleep so for that I am grateful.

Every week?! That is crazy. Exhausting, to say the least. Every month is hard enough.

The sleep is essential, I'm so glad you're getting it.

I agree about picking up your OWN meds!

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 03:08 PM
  #432
So yesterday late afternoon med due called to ask how I was doing. ??? He reminded me that he can't increase the lithium until he gets the lab result. I told him that yeah, I got that already. I suppose he felt bad, was concerned, whatever, but I admit that I was a bit sharp with him. The last thing I need is another mental health provider to take care of. I'm learning, finally, that their feelings are their own and not for me to handle with kid gloves.

I asked him if he decided to raise the lithium dose (I'm sure he will) can we do so over the phone instead of me coming in AGAIN? He said, Oh, uhh, why, is it hard for you to come in? I was a bit snappy, yes. I told him that I have other medical appointments on Monday and Tuesday, and that, well, I have a life to live, ya know how it is....

So he said he'd "make an exception" and talk with me by phone so I don't have to come in. I was in a few days ago! Do I really have to sit right there in his office, just for him to tell me he's raising the dose? Seems more than absurd. If he hadn't seen me for weeks, sure - but a few days ago? Why?

Are these people aware of the gas prices in this state right now? Every time I turn my car on and run the a/c it costs $. Do I really have to spell it out for them? Apparently, I do. Nice to live a life of privilege. Speaking of which, Anne Heche just died. Gee, maybe not a good idea to drive at an excessive speed while all coked up.
I feel sorry for the woman whose house burned down when Heche slammed into it. I mean, that seriously sucks big time.

I'm sorry, I'm all bitter and shyte. I'm going to turn on the a/c and (literally) chill out. Then I'll be skating for some hours - following a cool shower. And re-reading one of the most profound novels ever written, East of Eden. But I won't attempt all three at once. Or perhaps I will.

I'll most likely be back tonight.

Bipolar check-in #68

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 03:18 PM
  #433
I had a rather heated argument with my husband after the appointments we had. As we weren't heading home (like I thought), but returned to s-i-l's, she witnessed it.

Too often, my husband makes decisions and plans without properly discussing them with me as "a partnership". That tendency makes me feel treated as a child. I've discussed this with him in the past, but his tendency continues on, at times. When with his sister and nephew, he tends to focus on conversing on certain such issues, in Czech, with them more than me, as I sit aside frustrated. I do partially or fully understand when they start getting too involved in our business. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against extended family "input" but not active pushes of what/how we should do yada yada, and again, not at times in a language I'm not fully understanding. Indeed, it was a time Hubby and I needed to be alone...heading home.

So, Hubby "informed me" we were staying another night this afternoon. Then this evening, he "informed me" we were all taking a trip tomorrow morning in the direction of the city we live in. When they're all sitting there at the time, it's hard to nix the idea. However, tomorrow I will be wearing today's dirty underwear because it was my plan to already be home as I type this. Right now they are all outside in the cold night air in front of a bonfire. I'm inside typing. I went in because I was a) tired, b) needed to tend to a physical health issue that I can't fully do so outside of home, c) don't have a jacket/sweater because I wouldn't have needed one if we returned home today and just DON'T want to borrow one, d) I've had enough socializing for the stressful couple days, e) I'm pissed off as hell, f) I wanted to write Hubby a note expressing my hurt and disappointment in his disrespect. A written note is often better than a verbal conversation as his knee-jerk reactions are usually defense, excuses, or similar. He inherited his family's "Always right" attitude, which is challenging to deal with. Though this is surely a factor in his treatment, I can't help but wonder if our 13 year age difference has also always been. Plus, perhaps my being on disability these many years. Prior to the latter, I was the bigger money earner. That helped ofset these other influences. Or, the dude is really a bit short on common sense.

Actually, I did pack an extra pair of underwear, but I wrote to him that I didn't. Not sure how else to guilt the sucker. He can't easily suggest I ask to borrow one of s-i-l's.

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Psych Medications:
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* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg
* Seroquel IR (quetiapine IR) 50 mg
* Lyrica (pregabalin) 100 mg
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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 06:55 PM
  #434
Ohhh @Soupe du jour, I very deeply feel for you. I swear, I was just messaging a friend on this forum who is angry and distraught over the same thing you've posted - and that I have also experienced this week!! - a husband who makes decisions, financial and otherwise, without consulting his wife.

Here's a skit by the great and brilliant Carol Burnett. Take a peek

Nobody Notices Me! - YouTube

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 07:59 PM
  #435
Not much to say. I'm hoping my wheel on my car will be fixed tomorrow morning. Nervous about how it will go though. My step dad can't stay the whole time. Went out for b bim bop with N3 and his gf tonight. We had to stop at the store on the way back so I could get toothpaste. I got regular paste. All toothpastes seem to be whitening these days. Thanks Beth- now I'm stuck on Carol Burnett videos. It's supposed to go down into the 50s tonight so I've got the window over my bed open. I can hear summer bugs singing- crickets and others.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 08:08 PM
  #436
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
Though this is surely a factor in his treatment, I can't help but wonder if our 13 year age difference has also always been. Plus, perhaps my being on disability these many years.
There is a 12 year difference between my parents, and I notice my Dad has always treated my Mom like a child. Made me decide at a very young age that I didn't want to get married.
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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 08:28 PM
  #437
I’ve been taking klonapin at night for sleep and 1 MG of Xanax for anxiety at work since I went back on Wed. It hasn’t helped much. I’m really, really struggling. She prescribed Propranolol to go along with the Xanax but I just picked it up after work this evening so I’m not sure how it will work.
Possible trigger:

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 08:50 PM
  #438
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I’ve been taking klonapin at night for sleep and 1 MG of Xanax for anxiety at work since I went back on Wed. It hasn’t helped much. I’m really, really struggling. She prescribed Propranolol to go along with the Xanax but I just picked it up after work this evening so I’m not sure how it will work.
Possible trigger:
I too think about my kids being traumatized and devastated. And I know how it is to be transfixed on the thoughts. Do you have a safety plan that you can refer to tonight? Is there an emergency or after-hours number you can call? If the thoughts get really bad, go to your local psych ER, if you have one. My thoughts are with you. I will be praying for you.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 09:34 PM
  #439
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Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
...
... it was suggested to take a picture each day of something that inspires you. I think I could find something for a couple weeks but after that I’d have a hard time. But I’m gonna do that starting today....

I love that idea! I'm not huge on the gratitude thing, only because I fear it can get into toxic positivity - and also because the concept butts heads with my stupid OCD fears, or PTSD, or whatever it is ("If I'm grateful for this that means it will be taken from me"). But I think the inspiration idea is beautiful. And fun.

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Default Aug 12, 2022 at 09:46 PM
  #440
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Not much to say. I'm hoping my wheel on my car will be fixed tomorrow morning. Nervous about how it will go though. My step dad can't stay the whole time. Went out for b bim bop with N3 and his gf tonight. We had to stop at the store on the way back so I could get toothpaste. I got regular paste. All toothpastes seem to be whitening these days. Thanks Beth- now I'm stuck on Carol Burnett videos. It's supposed to go down into the 50s tonight so I've got the window over my bed open. I can hear summer bugs singing- crickets and others.

You're welcome, hun. Any time I have some songs I can suggest that will get stuck in your head, too, if you want

WHAT is b bim bop? Sounds like a dance from 1947.

I buy toothpaste on Amazon (or from the natural foods store). It's called Auromere Auyervedic Herbal T-paste. It's lovely. All good ingredients and it's the only toothpaste I've found that doesn't burn my mouth.

I so enjoy hearing the summer bugs. I have my fingers crossed for your tire to be fixed tomorrow.

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