Bipolar check-in #68

BeyondtheRainbow · Jul 28, 2022, 01:53 PM

We reached 50 pages so here's a new thread. I'll link it on the old post.

Nammu · Jul 28, 2022, 01:57 PM

Thanks rainbow 🌈. I hadn’t noticed we were on 50 already! Boy the check in thread moves fast!

BeyondtheRainbow · Jul 28, 2022, 02:00 PM

I think the last one moved faster than usual. I guess we all had a lot to talk about.

*Beth* · Jul 28, 2022, 02:37 PM

2 hours at DMV was unacceptable. At the very least, when I made the appointment they should have alerted me as to the length of time I would need to expect to spend in the office. No one should have to go through a DMV experience that is so unnerving that it causes someone with 41 years of clean driving experience to break down in tears.

I do not become activated from AD's. Everyone is different; no one fits in a box - I sure don't. I've been on an AD since 1990 and if I'm not I have major problems.

I'm very angry and will do my best to stay away from the forum today.

Mountaindewed · Jul 28, 2022, 02:52 PM

After the 11 hours of sleep last night I felt pretty good. I still didn't eat much for breakfast. I had a few cheese cubes and few pieces of salami. But it at least was protein. Then I went on a small daytime trip and I got a few halloween mugs and some soda I've been looking for. I had some anxiety but I made all my stops. I took the prestiq at the same time I've been taking it and man is that just kicking my *** still. Its really decimating my appeitite and making me tired. But it helps my anxiety so I feel like its working out. I reaIized when we were heading home that I had barely eaten in 2 days so I went to Starbucks for another bistro box. Then I came home and I just haven't had the energy and I've been on the recliner since. I drank an ensure and ate an apple sauce but I just don't have the stregnth or energy to do much of anything and I'm losing weight pretty fast. I hope these side effects go away because I know people are getting worried about me.

*Beth* · Jul 28, 2022, 04:24 PM

Please help me, please help me. I've gone crazy, you guys. I've broken. My mind won't stop. I've got to get it together to take precious London to the vet in a short while, then I'm going to come home and

Possible trigger:

cut myself open. If I can see my blood I will know I'm still alive/punish myself for being this way.

I can't stop crying, how am I supposed to do this? Maybe wearing a mask will kind-of cover my face. The whole covid thing and now monkeypox, just like AIDS, it's someone's way of controlling our people. How are babies going to be normal if they cannot see whole faces?

People take good care of yourselves You are each a beautiful person

HALLIEBETH87 · Jul 28, 2022, 05:52 PM

Please be careful

*Beth* · Jul 28, 2022, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

After the 11 hours of sleep last night I felt pretty good. I still didn't eat much for breakfast. I had a few cheese cubes and few pieces of salami. But it at least was protein. Then I went on a small daytime trip and I got a few halloween mugs and some soda I've been looking for. I had some anxiety but I made all my stops. I took the prestiq at the same time I've been taking it and man is that just kicking my *** still. Its really decimating my appeitite and making me tired. But it helps my anxiety so I feel like its working out. I reaIized when we were heading home that I had barely eaten in 2 days so I went to Starbucks for another bistro box. Then I came home and I just haven't had the energy and I've been on the recliner since. I drank an ensure and ate an apple sauce but I just don't have the stregnth or energy to do much of anything and I'm losing weight pretty fast. I hope these side effects go away because I know people are getting worried about me.

I'm sending you love, Md. Why are people on this forum mean to you? You deserve only love, just as everyone does.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jul 28, 2022, 07:01 PM

Well my friend just passed away

Victoria'smom · Jul 28, 2022, 07:09 PM

Beth please stay safe.
Sorry hallibeth.

Moose72 · Jul 28, 2022, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Please help me, please help me. I've gone crazy, you guys. I've broken. My mind won't stop. I've got to get it together to take precious London to the vet in a short while, then I'm going to come home and

Possible trigger:

cut myself open. If I can see my blood I will know I'm still alive/punish myself for being this way.

I can't stop crying, how am I supposed to do this? Maybe wearing a mask will kind-of cover my face. The whole covid thing and now monkeypox, just like AIDS, it's someone's way of controlling our people. How are babies going to be normal if they cannot see whole faces?

People take good care of yourselves You are each a beautiful person

What in the...?!? Call your pdoc or a crisis line- PLEASE!

BeyondtheRainbow · Jul 28, 2022, 08:17 PM

Beth, Moose is right. You know about the new 988 text or talk line right? Maybe try to contact them for some support?

How did your vet visit go?

BeyondtheRainbow · Jul 28, 2022, 08:17 PM

Hallie, I am so sorry for your loss.

Nammu · Jul 28, 2022, 08:21 PM

@Beth I had to google to get the 988 number that rainbow posted. They also have a website that’s easy to navigate and with buttons to chat. They have a huge bunch of choices and things to read if you are not in a place to talk or chat yet.

*Beth* · Jul 28, 2022, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

What in the...?!? Call your pdoc or a crisis line- PLEASE!

pdoc unavaialble until monday will call crisis line as soon as david leaves moose i'm desperate i'm not well i've done something not good to myself i can't make this

*Beth* · Jul 28, 2022, 09:17 PM

vet visit went REALLY WELL thank God, thank God London has mild asthma, not a huge deal.

onle good thing

*Beth* · Jul 28, 2022, 09:17 PM

I'm so sorry Hallie

Nammu · Jul 28, 2022, 09:23 PM

I was worried about London, glad to hear it’s a mild case. Don’t forget to breathe 🧘*♂️

Sending you your favorite purple sparkle ✨ healing vibes

BeyondtheRainbow · Jul 28, 2022, 10:16 PM

Beth, I'm so glad about London. Just having a diagnosis helped me and they aren't sure yet if Abby has a mild or moderate case. Her xray wasn't good but her health has been good since the steroids so things look good. I hope that London greatly improves too and that you can rest easy knowing what the episodes are.

Thinking of you tonight.....

*Beth* · Jul 28, 2022, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

@Beth I had to google to get the 988 number that rainbow posted. They also have a website that’s easy to navigate and with buttons to chat. They have a huge bunch of choices and things to read if you are not in a place to talk or chat yet.

Nammu, thank you so much, I've been crying since yesterday. I can't stop. I'm going to go to the website right now. David FINALLY left. I cannot talk with him about my mental health, at all. I need to be IP desperately, but cannot leave the cats as there is not a soul in the world to care for them. I took a bunch of Kpin but it hasn't done much. I can tolerate A LOT of Kpin.

*Beth* · 11:56 PM

Wow, that was a HUGE waste of energy. I did the chat and there was an annoying bell sound that kept interrupting. I asked the counselor what it was and she asked me if I often "hear things." Um, no. I have never hallucinated voices or sounds. So I told her that and she asked me to restart my computer. I told her forget it. Then I had to answer a big survey. Now I'm just completely exhausted.

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, I'll get more out of being with my stylist than I do from any therapist or counselor. Just fu*k everything.

-------------------------------------

Maybe the Kpin has helped me to calm down, finally. I've been able to stop crying and stop caring about things people are doing to me. The paranoia has decreased. Now I will take my regular meds plus Seroquel for sleep and lie down. And hopefully, sleep. I have found a youtube thing that plays only the sound of the ocean, for 11 hours. All 5 cats are gathered here, listening. Perhaps 10 Kpin, 5 cats, and 1 ocean sound audio is the answer to my woes.

*Beth* · Jul 29, 2022, 12:33 AM

Possible trigger:

I'm scared, I'm really scared. I'm afraid of how finished I feel. My aunt was 60 years and 9 months old when she suicided. She had dogs she adored. But I guess even they weren't enough, eventually. In 14 months I'll be that age. Are people at peace when they make the decision? Or is it different for different people? I was reading the other day about Marvin Gaye. His own father shot and killed Marvin on the eve of Marvin's birthday. Marvin had intervened in a fight between his parents when his dad shot him. Marvin's last words were, "I couldn't do it myself, so he did it for me."

BeyondtheRainbow · Jul 29, 2022, 01:00 AM

Beth, is there a foster program near you that might be willing to take your kitties for a few days so you can go IP and start feeling better? I'm pretty sure there was one that did that when I did home health.