Bipolar check-in #69

I'm sitting at Starbucks. I left the cat alone. She came into my bedroom and sat with me on the bed this morning. She also meows at me which I think is cute- she has this tiny little meow, goes with the petiteness of the rest of her. So I hope she is okay alone. She should be.

Today we are having a get together for an early dinner- N3 won't make it I don't think.

I just feel super runned down today. I'm not nauseated or in pain since I haven't had nuts or eggs in awhile and I'm in the AC but I'm just tired and worn out. My weight is still lower then it was at my last therapy session and I am still not hungry and I have to figure something out before my session on Wednesday or she is going to get real pissed. I just want to lie in bed all day though. I don't know if I caught a slight bug on my trip or am just unwell in general. I'm not anxious either though which is good.

I bet Richard Simmons went into hiding because he became overweight due to his knee injury. Everyone here knows my Richard Simmons story.

I had a couple plant based fried eggs for breakfast and I had the same feeling l had last night of I'm going to go insane and I really weird. So I won't finish the eggs. Basically today I've just been eating out of a small 24oz container of apple sauce.

I went for a follow up with the doctor per his request Friday and I do have three deficiencies and three infections including one in my lungs. I felt chided for being sick and had to defend myself that I am eating well and resting (excessively here lately). I may like my alfredo pizza on occasion but I start each morning with a healthy smoothie chock full of nutrients and go on from there. I don’t know how I came to be in such poor condition aside from possibly years of stress and more recently grief. I think me feeling so poorly physically had a lot to do with me being so down the other night. I feel like **** right now. Not well enough to see M this weekend unfortunately even though she is in town. Not even close. I hate that. Ah well….another time.

Mom misplaced her car keys and I’ve searched as best I could considering. I don’t know how to resolve that for now until I’m feeling better. There’s a few things I need to get resolved soon. I MUST get back on my feet. At least we’ve had somebody come in to clean today. I’m locked in the den as I’m not up for socializing.

One thing I know….I WILL get back on my feet and be better and stronger for it. Never again. Thanks for listening. It’s helped me feel better.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Much love

Having a pretty good day! Therapy and psychiatrist appointments were yesterday and they both went well. In need of a haircut, maybe I'll get around to that next week. I think I'll spend today reading a bit or studying something .. I wanna enjoy the energy while I have it! haha.

Can you guys believe it's already September? I can't.

Hi Mountaindewed. I also saw that documentary and remember the horrible backlash he received for trying to teach children to be loving and accepting in this world.

I went to the theater to see it. Many people in the theater cried during it, including me. Not just because of a love for Mister Rogers' messages, but because he represented such a contrast to the ugly hate that's been boiling over in the country and world, and will surely intensify. It's become so stressful and dangerous...for all!

I also saw it in the theater and wanted to cry throughout the entire thing. The part where him and the mail man have their feet in the pool really got to me.

No I can’t believe it! I’m not ready for summer to end. I dread winter and the long dark nights. Already we have to close the curtains too soon. Winter coats and boots, ugh 😩

I don't recall your Richard Simmons story. What is it?

I'm with you! But what's worse than winter coats and boots is having to scrape snow and ice off my car. Hate hate hate that!!

I think there were two- a movie that I also saw in the theater and a documentary on DVD. I don't remember which is which but it made me cry to see Mr. Rogers talking to those kids- I felt I was a preschooler again and it just brought back memories.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunflower123 I went for a follow up with the doctor per his request Friday and I do have three deficiencies and three infections including one in my lungs. I felt chided for being sick and had to defend myself that I am eating well and resting (excessively here lately). I may like my alfredo pizza on occasion but I start each morning with a healthy smoothie chock full of nutrients and go on from there. I don’t know how I came to be in such poor condition aside from possibly years of stress and more recently grief. I think me feeling so poorly physically had a lot to do with me being so down the other night. I feel like **** right now. Not well enough to see M this weekend unfortunately even though she is in town. Not even close. I hate that. Ah well….another time. Mom misplaced her car keys and I’ve searched as best I could considering. I don’t know how to resolve that for now until I’m feeling better. There’s a few things I need to get resolved soon. I MUST get back on my feet. At least we’ve had somebody come in to clean today. I’m locked in the den as I’m not up for socializing. One thing I know….I WILL get back on my feet and be better and stronger for it. Never again. Thanks for listening. It’s helped me feel better. I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Much love

Oh, my gosh! Maybe the deficiencies and infections are part of what's been causing you to feel unwell.

I understand about getting back on your feet, but resting is every bit as important.

I hope your day is peaceful, too.

In the 80's in an airport in LA my aunt was giving my 2 young cousins Twinkies and Richard Simmons came over to her and started yelling at her and basically harrasing her about how bad twinkies are. I mean first of all she was traveling alone with 2 kids under the age of 10 who were probably pretty tired. Second of all he should have been minding his own bussiness.

Oh yeah, even driving in that stuff! Last year a fed ex box was blowing across our yard in the snow. I got all dressed up but used my regular boots and I sunk down with each step I took getting more and more snow inside my boots. But I caught the package and secured it to the neighbors porch. But just ugh snow. I wish it only snowed on Christmas Eve and in the mountains for those who like to ski. I’m getting depressed just thinking about it. Long dark nights that are cold. I should go sit outside, it’s beautiful today. Mid 70’s sun and a bit of wind. Perfect holiday weather I hope people are out enjoying it.

Yeah…I’ve heard you and @Moose72 talk about snow before. Must be a real bear sometimes. Would love to have a little bit more here. Not as much as you get but more.

113 degrees predicted for Tuesday. Even the air conditioner turned down low and every fan blasting won't truly cool my apartment down. I'm tired of a/c, I'm tired of fans. I sure hope the power doesn't go out because I have Sidney's insulin in the refrigerator and the insulin has to stay cold.

I took a covid test and it came out negative. I don't know what the result would have been 3 weeks ago. I don't really feel like I've had covid. I think I caught some rotten virus. I'm definitely on the mend; the biggest problem I'm having at this point is my lower legs aching. It's painful and makes me feel like crawling into bed. I'm desperate to skate, but my legs just feel too shaky still.

Vali and Foxy

Cool pic. Very nice. I’m sorry about your lower legs. Hopefully you’ll be back to skating in no time. Fall and winter are a coming. Hang in there.

TRIGGER WARNING.













I just keep getting more and more depressed these last 2 or 3 weeks. I mean my sister died of bone cancer 01/04/2020 and my brother was murdered 06/24/202 then my wife died 111/18/2021. My depression just keeps getting worse. I have not suffered from suicidal ideations since 2015 after my last attempt. I am now suffering from suicidal ideations but I won't act on it. This might sound dumb but I have not ridden my motorcycle for over a month because it is broken. She finally went into the shop yesterday and I hope it is a quick fix and thank God for my 2 year warranty. I also have a clunking coming from the front end and I found out there is a recall for that problem.
I got my wife's Honda Rebel 300 started today just need to find the new license plate and stickers and I am off for a ride. I really miss my wife she was my best friend and my entire world revolved around her.

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The get together at my mom's was okay. I tried getting pix of N1 and N2 but N1 got annoyed and I really only got one good one of N2. I think last year's pictures will have to stay. *Sigh*

What is the story of vali and foxy?

I am shocked it is going to be that hot for you on tuesday.
I wonder if this is a sign of things to continue in this heat wave.
I am sorry @*Beth*
bizi

Every summer gets hotter and every winter there is less - almost no - rain. I don't know if you've seen the news lately, but we're breaking records like crazy out here. It's gone from weeks to almost months of every day over 100 degrees. Tuesday will be 113, I hope and pray the temperature won't stay that hot for days or weeks. But I know it will be November before we feel a real sense of cooling...hopefully. And now there's a wildfire north of here, so here we go with that.



Vali Myers was an artist who painted and hand-lettered the most spectacular art. She was Australian, but lived on a mountainside overlooking Positano, Italy. She had been a ballerina & was less than 5 feet tall. Vali had all sorts of pets, including a red fox called "Foxy." I don't know who did the image of her up there ^^^, but here's her own artwork. Look at that color and detail!:






and here, she is holding Foxy: