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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 06:07 PM
  #821
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Originally Posted by Sunflower123 View Post
Hey, I like that idea. I do have a person in mind. He is an adult but he is not very tall or muscular. I think my odds are better than average were it to come to a confrontation. Even with S here last night there was a light blue polo type shirt left in my chair on the deck in the middle of the night. I’m having a hard time believing this is really serious and I am dragging my feet as a result. That has left me in hot water today with my loved ones. They believe I’m being recalcitrant. Maybe I am. I will at least request the police to come to the house with lights and sirens after dark when it would be very noticeable. That may be enough to stop it. I will hand over the latex glove, cigarette butts and now the shirt to the cops along with the pictures of everything else just in case. I will also go with all of the security items mentioned in my previous post.

About to message you.

Police presence may very well be enough to scare him off.

The scary person who did the vandalism so many years ago at my mom's house - and shot the arrow through my window - when I was a teen turned out to be a boy who lived around the corner from us. Decades later, at a high school reunion, he admitted to the "crimes." He sheepishly said that he'd had a crush on me, but was afraid to ask me out. !!!! Shooting an arrow through glass? I wondered if he ever truly owned the horrible danger of it. Really weird.

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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 06:09 PM
  #822
I was able to get a little sleep, which helped with the intrusive thoughts quite a bit. I was even able to muster enough energy to meet my mom at Sunday services (albeit in my sweatpants). Unfortunately, meeting my mom means I have to say hello to my dad.

I'll spare you the complete play by play, but he spent five minutes trashing my job (that I enjoy), telling me to quit and apply for his handpicked job for me as a trucker... or working for the trucking company. He went back and forth. Goes without saying, but I will not touch that job with a ten foot pole while my dad continues to push for it. I don't want to owe my livelihood to him. Principle.

Apart from a Zoom call with my PsychNP, my Monday is free. So, I'm going to the aquarium! Among other creatures, they have a Giant Pacific Octopus that I really want to see!

Tonight, I'll power up my PS4 and waste an evening playing video games. I managed to fix my broken controller, so I'm taking full advantage of the distraction.

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Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
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Help Oct 02, 2022 at 06:56 PM
  #823
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Something doesn't feel right with me. I'm light headed and dizzy and very tired. My arms and legs keep going warm and numb and my vision is kinda blurry. My blood pressure is a bit high and I have some chest pains. I have an off and on cough. I just feel exhausted mainly. I've put on Drag Race and I've been binge watching that since 5:30 this morning. When I binge watch reality TV, especially stuff I've already seen, I'm normally not feeling very well.
These symptoms at least warrant a call to your primary doctor if not the ER. Call your primary doctor's normal phone number tonight and ask to speak to whoever is on call and run your symptoms by them. They will be able to tell you if you need to go to the Emergency Department.In my opinion these could be serious symptoms. I'm worried about you.

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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 07:10 PM
  #824
I’m having trouble at my second job. I’m so slow. And my mind is not where it needs to be. I can’t count money very well anymore, which really only affects me when counting out my drawer at the end of my shift, but still. I guess I’m just having so many bad side effects from the haldol I’m getting upset. I still feel like I have that blank stare, and my tongue is still vibrating which I know could become permanent. I have bad tremors in the morning and I’m beginning to have sexual dysfunction which I’m sorry but it’s honestly a dealbreaker. All these side effects are, it makes me feel like soon I won’t be able to work full time anymore. I’m going to try to get through this school year month by month. It’s already October.

I think part of my anxiety is I didn’t expect a BD kid in the autism class. He’s so out of control and the teacher is in this power struggle with him that won’t help. I think I should say something to her but I don’t know how she’ll take it.

Like honestly I don’t care about being slapped by the nonverbal kid, I don’t care about being kicked at, I do care about being bit lol but I always wear a sweatshirt so though it would hurt it wouldn’t hurt as much. All those things I don’t care about. But the screaming and property destruction reminds me too much of my old school.

I think I’m going to try to get up early and maybe go to the gym in the AM to work out the anxiety a bit. It’s just annoying to put on workout clothes and then changing again. But it will probably be good. Then I can go again with RS after dinner. I’ll see if I can.

Today it was raining like crazy with high winds, remnants of hurricane Ian that made it up to NJ. Stupidly we decided to take my son to the arcade down at the shore. But he loves the arcade! He has so much fun and honestly I have fun watching him have fun. He is part of the VIP club at this arcade and he was so excited because he moved up a level to gold. They also have gift cards as prizes so we don’t have to go home with a bunch of stupid junk.

I don’t know when he’s gonna stop wanting to be with us. So I’m gonna soak up every minute of family time we’ve got left. He’ll be twelve in six weeks. CR is just growing up and it makes me a bit wistful.

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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 07:59 PM
  #825
Enjoy the aquarium @Aurelius! That sounds awesome! Will you be going by yourself?

Hey, if spending the evening playing video games is relaxing for you it isn't a waste of time.

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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 08:06 PM
  #826
Yesterday I had my family over for a bbq my daughter who has been great support after my wife kind of let me down. She volunteered to come over yesterday to help me clean the house before our guest arrived. She did absolutely nothing but play on her phone and I was kind of disappointed in her. I had a simple plan of action and her not helping threw my game off. I love her but it hurt my feelings.

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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 08:27 PM
  #827
Oh, @wildflowerchild25. I sense a lot of pain and even sadness in your post. And frustration. A heavy-hitter like Haldol is an intense burden to carry. In my mind Haldol is a med that is "SSDI" time. BUT it hardly sounds like it's giving you any benefit. Not only that - it sounds like it could cause TD that may be permanent. NO JOKE! The sexual side-effect is most definitely a deal-breaker. Again, very serious and nothing amusing about it.

I cannot imagine how on earth you're even walking into a second job when your first job is so exceedingly stressful. Being hit? Bitten? Slapped? Kicked? Abuse much???

I know what you mean about the clothes changing thing. It's annoying, for sure. For some reason, all the years I did ballet and modern dance changing clothes was...I don't know...grand, somehow. Elegant. But regular work-out clothes are, to me, a reminder of hard work ahead. That I don't necessarily want to push myself to do. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound discouraging. I'm just sharing my own feeling. Something excellent about skating is that in general, I don't have to change my clothes to skate. I do have to wear protective gear, though. Ah, well. Were it not for gaining weight from damned Seroquel I'd still be happily, peacefully, in the dance studio.

Yes. The time flies when children are growing up. I knew that when mine were I did cherish every moment with them. But it still flew by. My son will be 34 tomorrow. I live between the wonderful memories of "what was" and the "I hope I'll be here to see his 50th birthday...or more."

It sounds like CR had a terrific time on the shore! That's what counts - today. This moment. This breath.

I'm sending you love.

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Red face Oct 02, 2022 at 08:29 PM
  #828
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Yesterday I had my family over for a bbq my daughter who has been great support after my wife kind of let me down. She volunteered to come over yesterday to help me clean the house before our guest arrived. She did absolutely nothing but play on her phone and I was kind of disappointed in her. I had a simple plan of action and her not helping threw my game off. I love her but it hurt my feelings.

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Has she always been like that?
I am sorry that she did that to you.
Any way you can confront her about it now that the event is over?
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Red face Oct 02, 2022 at 08:48 PM
  #829
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Thanks, Nammu. My family will have additional info early this week.

I am so worried about you and your family. I hope you are able to finally get some sleep.
I am sorry for your struggles.
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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 09:54 PM
  #830
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Enjoy the aquarium @Aurelius! That sounds awesome! Will you be going by yourself?

Hey, if spending the evening playing video games is relaxing for you it isn't a waste of time.
Thanks. Yeah, it'll just be me at the aquarium. I don't mind keeping my own company and to be honest, I'm looking forward to a little "me" time. No family obligations. No work. No phone, save for maybe snapping a picture or two. I'm ready!

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And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 01:16 AM
  #831
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Yesterday I had my family over for a bbq my daughter who has been great support after my wife kind of let me down. She volunteered to come over yesterday to help me clean the house before our guest arrived. She did absolutely nothing but play on her phone and I was kind of disappointed in her. I had a simple plan of action and her not helping threw my game off. I love her but it hurt my feelings.

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I'm so sorry. Our kids, no matter how awesome, can sometimes be sh*theads.

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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 01:17 AM
  #832
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Thanks. Yeah, it'll just be me at the aquarium. I don't mind keeping my own company and to be honest, I'm looking forward to a little "me" time. No family obligations. No work. No phone, save for maybe snapping a picture or two. I'm ready!

Yes, once my children grew up I found that most of the time I am my own best friend. I really enjoy being with...me. Have a load of fun!

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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 05:01 AM
  #833
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I'm no "teen basher" @Sunflower, but what's happening around your house sounds like the antics of a teenager. I mean, basically it seems like there are two possibilities - a teen or a real creepster psycho. My guess, statistically speaking, is that it's a teen who is taunting you.

@Blue_Bird, thank you for sharing your pictures. I love to see your kitties. They make me smile, too.

@Soupe du jour, your situation sounds serious. If you want to/need to share specifics with us - we're here for you.
Thanks, Beth. I might share more, but I sometimes have a slight paranoia that someone in my life may be lurking around. Eventually information does eventually become more widely known, though. When it's not entirely my own info to share, I feel a bit reluctant. The situation is quite horrible, though, though nothing entirely different than some here have experienced.

I used to be an avid blogger, writing about bipolar disorder and some other personal things. Eventually it became known that too many people I know knew too private of business. It was mostly my dad who shared my blog, a surprising thing for him to do, yet I know he actually meant well. Proud of it. Sadly, I rarely write in it anymore and when I do, it's more just culinary-related stuff. I share more here on MSF than anywhere else, to be honest.

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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 05:14 AM
  #834
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Yes, once my children grew up I found that most of the time I am my own best friend. I really enjoy being with...me. Have a load of fun!
I obviously never had children, but do have a very close relationship with my husband...as you likely guessed. However, though I'm not a shy person, I do fit the description of introvert. How that is is that I am very happy to entertain myself well, not relying on others for my personal enjoyment of life. I think it can be a good thing, as you wrote. I do need at least a little support in life, but to me a couple close people is fine. I don't need 10 or more friends, like others do. Never did.

Perhaps a negative about me is that I tend to be a bit guarded when meeting new people, and with many people. I am nice, but don't always open up that much to people. However, when I'm very close to a person, I've very close and dedicated. And again, just a few people in my life, and they tend to be people capable of unconditional love with reasonable expectations from me.

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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 08:48 AM
  #835
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I’m still creeped out and discombobulated by last nights dream. It was an intense vivid dream of ending up in a hospital. I knew the events leading up to it but had amnesia on how exactly I ended up in there and was terrified. They told me my injection was due and I was like no one has talked to me, told me what medication I’m getting. The girl then said come with me then and set out to go across a lake. I said I can’t do that. I can’t walk that far. Then she led me into a locked hospital where I couldn’t talk. I just wondered lost. Finally one lady saw me, held out her hand and said she would help me. I woke up, it was only 4 am! Still feeling mute and vulnerable.
I’m so sorry you had such a troubling dream. I hope you are feeling better now.
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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 08:51 AM
  #836
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I was able to get a little sleep, which helped with the intrusive thoughts quite a bit. I was even able to muster enough energy to meet my mom at Sunday services (albeit in my sweatpants). Unfortunately, meeting my mom means I have to say hello to my dad.

I'll spare you the complete play by play, but he spent five minutes trashing my job (that I enjoy), telling me to quit and apply for his handpicked job for me as a trucker... or working for the trucking company. He went back and forth. Goes without saying, but I will not touch that job with a ten foot pole while my dad continues to push for it. I don't want to owe my livelihood to him. Principle.

Apart from a Zoom call with my PsychNP, my Monday is free. So, I'm going to the aquarium! Among other creatures, they have a Giant Pacific Octopus that I really want to see!

Tonight, I'll power up my PS4 and waste an evening playing video games. I managed to fix my broken controller, so I'm taking full advantage of the distraction.
I hope you enjoy the aquarium and your video games!

Last edited by FooZe; Oct 03, 2022 at 10:57 PM.. Reason: Preparing post to be restored to orig. thread
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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 04:16 PM
  #837
Thread has once again been re-opened for check-ins related to living with bipolar disorder.

If you have an issue with another member, please take it out of the public forums and into PM. Interpersonal differences should be resolved privately. Else use the Ignore list self-care that we make available for just such issues. Thank you.

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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 04:56 PM
  #838
I’m in such an irritated mood today. I forgot to set my alarm this morning so slept right though aqua fitness. The sleep was probably needed tho. But I needed aqua fitness too. It really perks me up.

Had an intense dream. Was with mum at a renaissance festival and then planed to meet her and my sister in Scranton. Why Scranton? Have no idea and why was a walking there? Was very anxious to get there. No idea what dreams mean but hoo boy they can be interesting 🤔.

As I said I’m quite irritated today. Mum’s been on my last nerve all day. Bugging me to go water dead plants. It’s October plants die here this time of year, so I finally said some choice words and went and watered them. Greatly relieved mum. Then we talked about how the trees are all changing colors and falling. She admitted the plants are dead. Oh well. I’ll throw the two worse one out Thursday when the garbage goes out. Not having to look at the vines might relieve mum’s anxiety.

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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 05:01 PM
  #839
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I’m in such an irritated mood today. I forgot to set my alarm this morning so slept right though aqua fitness. The sleep was probably needed tho. But I needed aqua fitness too. It really perks me up.

Had an intense dream. Was with mum at a renaissance festival and then planed to meet her and my sister in Scranton. Why Scranton? Have no idea and why was a walking there? Was very anxious to get there. No idea what dreams mean but hoo boy they can be interesting 🤔.

As I said I’m quite irritated today. Mum’s been on my last nerve all day. Bugging me to go water dead plants. It’s October plants die here this time of year, so I finally said some choice words and went and watered them. Greatly relieved mum. Then we talked about how the trees are all changing colors and falling. She admitted the plants are dead. Oh well. I’ll throw the two worse one out Thursday when the garbage goes out. Not having to look at the vines might relieve mum’s anxiety.
Ah Nammu - I’m sorry you are irritated today but the thought of you grumbling as you watered dead plants gave me a deep belly laugh. Thank you for that my friend. I hope things get better for you.
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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 05:13 PM
  #840
Today is my N2's (Noah's) 34th birthday! He's in NYC, working, so I called him between a meeting and dinner. We had a wonderful chat. He's so easy to talk to.

N1 (my daughter) is not doing well, physically. She had her gall bladder removed this summer and has a stomach ulcer that is giving her a lot of pain. I'm very concerned about her, especially because she's on the opposite coast and without any family. Actually, I still do have family in New York, but they don't really know my daughter.

Bipolar check-in #69

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My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.