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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
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#901
Oh, God. @Soupe du jour, I am so, so sorry to learn of such awful news for you and for your family. How cruel for your brother. For all of you, for everyone in your brother's life.
My precious sister had breast cancer when she was 52. She'd been an addict for many years before. After having to have her breasts removed she felt her cherished career was affected. She was obsessed with that and began using even more. When she was 68 she was found to have metastasized cancer. Our family was...there are no words...only the awful despair, vicious fear, severe anxiety, anticipatory grief, the tiniest flicker of hope for - at least more time, only please, just more time...and the terror that one will completely break down in front of the so sick sibling, letting them know that you know that the probable end is clearly in sight. God, that. That. My sister lived with it for a few months, opted not to have further treatment, then OD'ed herself at age 69. That was 5 years ago, this month. I am relating my story to you to say that I have been in that place. My heart goes out to you - and you are not alone in this. I am honored that you have trusted us enough to share your so-painful news and allow us to offer our support. I do believe that after a bit, you will feel the courage to look past the cruelty of the illness and see your brother as he truly is - the soul of a man you are profoundly connected to. When that time comes for you (it will!), will it be possible to visit your brother, and your family (especially your dad) in the States? Soupe, I want you to know that I am sending you loving support, and along with that my strong belief that you will find peace, somewhere, in all of the pain you've been presented with. __________________ |
bizi
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bizi, Nammu
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Boise
Posts: 701
10 |
#902
I was having major depression and bad suicidal ideations this las weekend and I did something I have never done before and that was I texted two buddies on Sunday asking for help. I am 49 and this is the first time I can remember asking anyone rather than my doctor for help I usually wait until it was to late. Well those two buddies I texted actually both of them called me and we talked for the longest time. It is nice to know if I reach out for help that others will help me as best as they can.
I have a problem opening up to males it has to do with my views on masculinity and the theory for me was/is I am man I show no emotion cause if I do I will look weak and I am not weak. But right now I am the most broken I have ever been in my life. It has been almost a year since my wife passed away and that honestly destroyed me when she died. Honestly if it was not for my kids and animals I probably would of ate a bullet the day she died. I also seen my new pdoc yesterday for the second time and I really like him. He actually knew my wife on the job and he has really gone out of his way to help me he gave me like 4months Latuda samples cause I can not afford them. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk |
*Beth*, bizi, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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bizi, ~Christina
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,154
8 13.4k hugs
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#903
Thanks for the kind words and support during this tough time for my family!
__________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
*Beth*, bizi, Sunflower123
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*Beth*, bizi, Sunflower123
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,233
(SuperPoster!)
9 9,387 hugs
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#904
Soupe, I'm so sorry about your brother's illness. We're always here to listen....
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
bizi, Soupe du jour
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bizi, Soupe du jour
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,228
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,783 hugs
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#905
I took muddyboots advice and got some ginger candy. They are actually ginger chews with some kinda medicine in them. They are called Dramamine ginger chews, and they relieve nausea and heartburn. I took 2 last night and it was instant relief. I was up for a bit last night but I felt fine besides being a bit hungry from not eating much yesterday. I got back to sleep fine.
I got up this morning and drank a hibisicious ginger beer soda. Which also helped me contiune to feel better. I ate some gross pumpkin ramen and a Lunchable. I got coffee from Starbucks and my anxiety and physical issues all remained fine. I did take another ginger chew before going to therapy. Therapy was very productive. I was focused the whole time because I wasn't nauseated or hungry. We talked about me returning to work. I talked about my fears but then I told her how I was fact checking at the same time. She asked me how my weight and eating was going. I told her I had been eating a lot of Lunchables. I told her I try to eat a lot of stuff for as little calories as possible. She didn't get mad but she did kinda straighten up in her chair and was just like "yeah that is for sure eating disorder behavior." I never knew it was? I've been doing that for years and never knew it was an issue. I told her I'd eat sugar free 50 calorie applesauces and she said "I bet you could list off the calories of any food I give you." She said knowing the calories of every food is also eating disorder behavior. I asked her if she thought I had one. She said based on what she knows she would put me in between the disordered eating and eating disorder categories. Idk. I never really thought what I was doing was an issue. At least I'm catching a break from my nausea which is then helping my anxiety. So thanks to everyone for your suggestions. __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
*Beth*, Aurelius710, bizi, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,205
5 80 hugs
given |
#906
I'm thinking of you @Soupe du jour.
__________________ * Dx: Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder * Rx: Remeron, Prozac, Klonopin, Vraylar My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
bizi, Soupe du jour
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Soupe du jour
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,405
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.7k hugs
given |
#907
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
bizi, Soupe du jour
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Soupe du jour
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,405
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.7k hugs
given |
#908
Well I think I’m losing it. Last night I was so worried about. The car loan and the payment that I couldn’t sleep. I finally gave up and went in the family room to try again to set up auto pay for the loan. Couldn’t do it. Sent the bank an email and went back to bed. Still couldn’t sleep. Finally just as the alarm went off I was drifting off. Got up opened the drapes, feed Sir and canceled aqua fitness. Went back to bed. When I canceled aqua class I couldn’t see my glasses but didn’t think much of it and used my reading glasses. But when I woke up discombobulated and addled I couldn’t find my glasses anywhere! I looked everywhere in the bedroom on the bed, in bed, on the floor under the bed, in the chair where I sat, everywhere. They are gone. Fortunately because I had money when I got my glasses last year I also ordered a fun pair online to see if the lenses were as good as regular too expensive glasses. So I had a spare pair. But I couldn’t find those either! After about a half hour of looking I found them the first place I looked!
All well and good? I read the instructions from the bank about setting up payments and realized I needed to join the bank as a member to set up a payment plan. I needed my check book to create the plan. Couldn’t find my check book! Finally I found my new checks. And got my car payment set up. But only for a month. Gotta do this again nest month! Then I remembered that my check book was in my purse which I used once last month! So found that but the glasses still elude me. I feel like I’m loosing it. Where oh where are my glasses? __________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
*Beth*, bizi, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
(SuperPoster!)
9 95k hugs
given |
#909
@Nammu oh, what a time you’ve had today. How terribly frustrating. I hope things even out for you.
I’d be interested in your thoughts on whether the fun pair of frames is as good as the expensive. I go 50-50 between contacts and glasses and it’s time to up the prescription. I’ve seen several fun pairs I would really like but didn’t know how they would hold up. |
bizi
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,405
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.7k hugs
given |
#910
Quote:
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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bizi, Soupe du jour
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Sunflower123, ~Christina
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,405
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.7k hugs
given |
#911
Oh! I did find my glasses! I looked again with my spare glasses on. They somehow fell onto the bottom shelf of the end table, in the middle! They were almost invisible
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
*Beth*, bizi, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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Sunflower123, ~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
(SuperPoster!)
9 95k hugs
given |
#912
I have made it home in time to sit in the sun. There’s a slight hint of chill with the breeze. It’s time to pull out my fall candles and fall/winter wardrobe.
I think tomorrow or Friday will be a good time to take mom to the apple orchard for some hot apple cider and hot apple cobbler as the weekends are packed. She’s most excited about going to the pumpkin patch to choose her own pumpkin. Go figure. She thinks she’s strong enough to cut the vine and put it in the wagon. Could be but I will still assist her. I caught somebody on our property in broad daylight as he was walking away. He had a gray hoodie on with the hood pulled up. He looked to be of medium build and stature. I ran outside and called to him hoping I could get a description but he continued casually out to and down the street. I wasn’t sure whether to pursue or stay. I stayed. It will get sorted out. At this point I don’t care about bringing charges. I only want him to stop. I hope everybody has a peaceful evening. Much love |
bizi, Moose72, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Soupe du jour
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~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#913
I’ve had wicked nausea the last few days. My cousin think it’s my
Blood sugar but who knows __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
*Beth*, bizi, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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~Christina
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#914
Quote:
It's great to know about the ginger Dramamine stuff. Ginger can be amazing for helping with nausea. Ginger tea is also very helpful usually. Nausea is the worst. __________________ |
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bizi, Mountaindewed
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Mountaindewed
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#915
Quote:
The apple orchard sounds so nice. I agree that you did the smart thing by not pursuing that person. Doing so could end up with a dangerous situation, you never know whether the person may have a weapon or whatever. __________________ |
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bizi
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#916
__________________ |
bizi
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#917
__________________ |
bizi
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Nammu
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#918
Quote:
It sounds like you have some good friends, there. Reaching out was so courageous of you. I understand about the masculinity belief, but honestly, I am a woman and reaching out to an IRL friend...I haven't done that since my high school years. I should take a lesson from you. __________________ |
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bizi
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otroo
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given |
#919
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
*Beth*, bizi
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#920
__________________ |
bizi
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