Bipolar check-in #69

I walked mum though the remote control to pick out a tv show for the night. she picked a western we’ve already seen. So now there’s a loud musical on for the next 2.5 hours. Yi yi yi. I’m glad I went to the library today, I just finished, When the Minihaha flowed with Whiskey. I’ll take my hearing aids out and enjoy a mystery.

I’m doing quite alright. Sleeping is muddling along more or less 5-7 hours a night.

I thought I was a goat????
bizi

I made an earlier appt with the new pdoc. She’ll see me Tuesday. I’m still a little doubtful about her ability to handle my case but we shall see. If I was able to see my old pdoc I definitely would have paid out of pocket but I don’t want to if I can help it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi I thought I was a goat???? bizi

Nope. February 5, 1962, to January 24, 1963 is the Water Tiger. This (2022) is our year.

btw, thank you for your compliment about my daughter. She has such a talent for style. It used to be such fun to shop with her when she lived here. I know she has to love shopping in NYC! The funny thing about that pic (the one on my profile) is that her hair is extremely thick and very dark brown. She's been bleaching it to blonde for many years. Well, there was one time when she left the bleach on too long and her ends broke off, which you can see in the photograph

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 I made an earlier appt with the new pdoc. She’ll see me Tuesday. I’m still a little doubtful about her ability to handle my case but we shall see. If I was able to see my old pdoc I definitely would have paid out of pocket but I don’t want to if I can help it.

I have lost most of my trust for med dude because he is so inexperienced with psych meds. I'm pretty sure I was literally one of his first few psychiatric patients. He was new to practicing when I had my first appointment with him.

What is your doubt about?

I hope your appointment goes smoothly and that it meets your needs.

I’m glad you’re doing alright. Nice being able to take your hearing aids out under those conditions.

I love your decorations Blue_Bird! Thanks for sharing.

We had a great time in the city we visited yesterday. We decided to stay the night in a hotel alongside one of the airport’s runways (the busiest in the nation). I can’t explain why but there is something about watching the larger planes and jumbo jets glide through the sky and land and take off that both fascinates and soothes me deeply. I usually watch for long periods of time. I don’t share that with many people. Really just M and now S. Toss the bar, limousines, fancy restaurant and dance floor. I’ll choose the planes each time. Yep - I’m risqué.

We’ll be traveling home in the next hour and a half or so where I will drop S off and travel on down the road to meet up with M. I’ll be home early to late evening. It will be good to see her. I’ve missed her. The last time she came to visit, I was sick with pneumonia and really wanted to be in bed and asleep. I don’t count that as a true visit. I was afraid I might infect her so I didn’t hug her (and I’m a big hugger if you couldn’t tell). I merely shook her hand from arm’s length and stroked her hair. Ha! She has no idea how many hugs, arms around the shoulder and hand holding is coming her way. Fortunately, both S and M are tactile people as well.

This is just what the doctor ordered. Quality time with the two most important people in my world away from everything and everyone else.

It’s been a long time since I put down my load of responsibilities and had genuine fun where you lose track of time without my being hyper vigilant about what needed my attention next. I’ll have more of that please. Ideas are being batted about. I have kept mom lovingly cared for in my absence btw. I would and could do nothing less.

I’m checking in to say things are really good and to check up on everybody’s news. I am happy and relaxed. I can see that I have several private messages that I have yet to read. I will soon. I’m going to spend the next hour and a half watching the jumbo jets come in from overseas along with my morning coffee and some fresh fruit.

I hope everybody has a peaceful Saturday. Much love

My husband's still away, but will return tonight. I'll be relieved. Last night I forgot my evening meds until late. I didn't get to sleep until 3 am and had an extra anxious feeling.

I've had intermittent GI issues for a while. From September 20 to 27 it was very severe and I never went to the GP. Then it eased, so again no follow-up on it. Some days (or parts of a day) I have it again. I'm assuming it's related to stress, but perhaps it could be something else or something else, too. I feel and think I look like I've lost weight. There is a scale here at our rental, but the batteries are dead. My scale is in a box 40 mins away. Maybe when we stay at my s-i-l's house I can use hers. Or find batteries. I feel I've eaten enough not to lose weight. Who knows. I often have a cognitive distortion with this.

I think I look awful. My hair has the graying roots and is scraggly and frizzy, put up in a pony tail and unwashed for ages. My husband said the shower downstairs doesn't drain right. Washing my hair there would cause a plumbing emergency. Upstairs is an awkward bathtub with no curtain or glass enclosure and only the typical European hand held shower head, which is especially awkward. When I had a WhatsApp with my family, my brother made a teasing remark about my hair. He didn't mean any harm, but I am self conscious about it. Afterwards I asked Hubby "Does my hair look THAT bad?" He responded that it doesn't, but I think he's being kind or sees me through rose-colored glasses. This should be a motivator for action, but it's not.

We started looking for a GP and psychiatrist for me. Ain't easy! I'm on the waiting list at one place (pdoc) and we'll call a couple others on Monday. I may need to travel all the way to the city, but even there they are scarce. Obviously the GP would be good to get. As well as a dentist, a gynecologist, and a nephrologist. Ugh! Right now I feel like crying, but I'm in my usual "tight fist" state, which I know is unhealthy. I have kept the house neat and tidy. That's one good thing.

@wildflowerchild25, all the best with your appointment. I hope you end up pleasantly surprised by the doctor, for a change.

@Nammu, it's good to have some form of escape.

@Sunflower123, I'm so glad you had a nice time. As for planes and airports, I know two people who are passionate about them...to a very extreme degree. My husband's good friend (that's he visiting today) and my s-i-l's boyfriend. The latter's house has airplane photos and artwork in every single room of his house, creates airplane calendars from his photography, and goes to every air show there is. He dragged s-i-l to one last month. A couple week's back we were in a Bauhaus (like Home Depot) and jokingly photographed a cheesy piece of artwork featuring a plane in relief. We sent it to s-i-l who showed it to the boyfriend as a joke. He begged us to buy it for him. Oh my! S-i-l said she would never move in with him. No room for her amongst the planes. By the way, have you ever heard of the TWA Hotel within JFK Airport in NY City? This is literally a hotel within the airport grounds. Views of planes the best of any airport. And it's really cool, like a museum. Hubby and I stayed there once. It wasn't even that expensive. Hubby swam in the hotel pool with a perfect view of a runway. You can learn about it at Photos | TWA Hotel at JFK Airport

Oh soupe

Thanks, Nammu! You know what? Writing what I did actually motivated me to finally wash my hair. It was a pain in the butt, but it's done. My left ear is a little more clogged than usual, though. It had seemed to have been getting a little better. Oh well! Hubby has been wanting me to go to an ENT for a while, but it hasn't happened. He says I talk too loudly a lot. Frequently in my life I have to go because of very clogged ear(s). When I do, it's an instant relief. I have always procrastinated, but here in CZ I feel bad having to ask Hubby for help to make so many appointments. I still think my sinusitis is part of the reason, but an ENT said no.

Sorry. I'm so irritable.

Yay 😀 for washed hair. Now to tackle ent issue! Just one step at a time! When does hubby get home?

He said around 6 pm or so. So 1 1/2 hours from when I'm typing this. There'll be a grocery delivery before then, so dinner will be ready lickity split. He originally planned to be home by 3 pm, but his friend wanted more time with him. Kinda important as that friend helped us a bit with the property buy.

So, my competition is getting seedier and more underhanded by the day. Made my sales, but that was not for lack of trying on their part. Their marching orders are apparently to take my customers by any means necessary. Now I get that they're the competition and we've got different goals, but my bosses want me to play a reciprocal, almost "gentlemanly" game (You scratch my back. I scratch yours. I'll route appropriate customers your way, if you send them my way.) that they don't seem interested in playing.

I mean, forget me for a moment. One rep admitted to lies by omission when selling his product to customers after hounding these people to listen to him. He was proud of that. Talked with my boss about it. I have no intention of being a doormat, but my boss also gave me leave to cut them out of the "gentlemanly" game. Leave them high and dry if they keep it up.

On a fun note, I got to go see a movie finally! Amsterdam (With quite the ensemble cast!) was a fictionalized account of the very real Business Plot, which involved American industrialists and newspapermen with ties to Fascist Germany and Fascist Italy trying to engineer a coup against FDR using a popular Marine Corps General and disaffected WWI vets as a catalyst. It very nearly succeeded. On second thought, maybe not so fun a note.

I've been delaying it, but I think I'll pick up my tramadol scrip. If it will work...

Ooo yeah, very important to keep good friends close. Then you have the weekend to relax and enjoy each other. But nice to have time apart too.

Glad you're doing well Nammu, I need to go to the library at some point to return some books

I hope your appointment goes well!

I went and got my 4th Covid booster shot and my flu shot today, also stopped in at a local independent bookstore and bought a couple things (pictured below, a drawing guide book, a novel, and a Van Gogh metal bookmark). They have so many awesome things in that bookstore. It's a nice cold autumn day, and I am about to have a coffee with some pumpkin spice creamer Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend