[raspberrytorte]

I'm DYING here people. I mean, does he REALLY have to stretch out like that and put his leg over my knee and just look so... APPEALING?! Ugh! And WHY only once a day?! He's driving me crazy!!!! I don't think he realizes the severity of my situation. I swear I've NEVER been like this before.

Anyone else gotten SUPER hypersexual while hypo/manic?

This is a first time for me. I'm going out of my mind!!!! All I can think about right now is stuff that is rated R for sexually explicit content. I'm sorry. I can't help it I'm married to the GOD of love. And he works literally ALL day Friday thru Sunday and then Monday our daughter is on summer break. I'm never going to get any love! I'm going to lose my fcking mind!!! I'm buying myself an early birthday present today and writing his name on it. The device is just going to have to become my best friend.

[MuddyBoots]

Dude, I am fking 27, have an extensive CSA history that I was praised for tolerating, and idealize (read: am turned on by) every person that shows any sort of appreciation for me. As baseline.

Add hypomania to the mix...it just turns incredibly hurtful, reckless, some may even say dangerous. I can't do the hypomania thing anymore. Cannot. I do not know what I'd do if any mood elevation I've been having actually crosses the line into "yes, for sure hypomania."

Enjoy your bob

[raspberrytorte]

I'm so upset. 😭

This morning he pretty much told me to stop it and go away and to leave him alone (I mean, he kinda said it nicer, but that's what he said). So now I'm afraid to even go near him or touch him because I don't want to make him mad. He said, "Not everything needs to be about sex!"

I can't control myself!!!! 😫 This is getting really bad. I feel TERRIBLE. I feel like a rejected woman.

😭 😭 😭

I've been rejected by the GOD OF LOVE ❤️.

And I'm for sure not getting any love today because our daughter left school early and there was that picnic, so we couldn't in the afternoon, and in the morning is when he got upset, and I KNOW tonight he'll say he's tired or start reading or something.

I also haven't been talking much around him because of my pressured speech and I don't want to sound too excited or he'll just ask if I've been taking my meds and lecture me about my sleep and be a real killjoy and it'll annoy me.

I guess I'm just a little frustrated and agitated. I took a Seroquel and am attempting a rest period. We'll see how it goes.

[bizi]

You sound like you are not taking your meds, are you?
bizi

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by bizi

You sound like you are not taking your meds, are you?
bizi

I am taking them.

[raspberrytorte]

I talked to him. He said he still finds me quite attractive and beautiful (aw 😍 ), but that he can't help it he doesn't have the libido of an 18 year old and that we don't need to do it every day.

Now it's we don't need to every DAY!!!! Like, there will be DAYS?!

He said in a week I'll look back and laugh at myself. He said usually I don't think about sex all the time either.

HE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!

[raspberrytorte]

I'm getting huffy. This isn't fair. I've put out for him dozens of times over the last 24 years we've been together when he's wanted to get off and I wasn't in the mood. In fact, our daughter's conception was such an incident and she was a surprise pregnancy (in fact, when I saw the stupid stick I shouted, "I'M ****ING PREGNANT!" and threw it. I was not happy). I threw up multiple times a day for nine months, squeezed something the size of a watermelon out of my vagina, developed schizoaffective disorder because of the stress of having a small child and working full-time and IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT BECAUSE HE GOT ME PREGNANT WHEN I WAS NICE AND LET HIM GET OFF. And he can't return the favor when I'm suffering the way I am?! WHAT THE FUKK.

[raspberrytorte]

Oh, and I'm in no way saying I don't want my daughter. I love her dearly and couldn't imagine life without her. She's smart and funny and beautiful. I couldn't ask for a better daughter ❤️. I'm just a little agitated right now.

[bizi]

Forgive me for asking you this....But have you told your therapist or psych
Doctor about your way too heightened sex drive classic symptom of mania.
I think your meds need to be adjusted.What antipsychotic are you taking?
sigh
bizi

[raspberrytorte]

400mg of seroquel and 50mg of loxapine.

I told my therapist about my sex drive situation and she told me my hormones are probably out of whack and that I should call my GP and make an appointment which I'm not going to do because my GP is a moron.

[raspberrytorte]

I texted my husband at work and asked him if he still wanted me because my therapist was all talking about "boundaries" and made me feel really ashamed and bad and now I'm not even going to go near or touch my husband and he texted back and said that of course he did and I was overreacting. ❤️ 😍

I'm still not even going to go near him or touch him or go into his "boundary" or whatever though. I'm sure I'm just being slightly neurotic but whatever. It's how I feel. My therapist made me feel like a hormonal FREAK. LIKE SOME SORT OF HORMONAL SEX FREAK. I knew I should have canceled my stupid appointment.

[raspberrytorte]

He wants to be alone. But I'm so lonely. 🥺

[raspberrytorte]

I'm happy. 😊

We texted back and forth for a while and he pretty much told me that my therapist's whole "boundaries" (or whatever the fuk she was talking about) was stupid because we've been together for 24 years and there are pretty much no more "boundaries" between the two of us and that he loves me and I'm his best friend and I asked him if that meant it was okay if I snuggled with him in the morning (assuring him I wouldn't try getting on him) and he said of course. 😍 ❤️ And on Monday I get to spend the whole day with him while our daughter is with her friends. We're driving her up there and will be hanging out, but alone, and I'm hoping I'll be able to touch his leg or something (sorry! I can't help myself! I'm going crazy! All I want is HIM).

So I feel better and less neurotic but still hate my therapist now and think she's a twisted bytch cunnt and never want to see her again because I don't feel like getting lectured at about "hormones" and talking to my primary and boundaries and her making me feel all bad and confused and ashamed and bawling for like a day and two nights and a morning and thinking I can't even go near my husband.

[bizi]

Do you have a psych doctor?
They understand being hyper sexual and this is how to get really ffuucked up.
It is a serious symptom of mania.Do you think this is healthy behavior?

Can't you see how obvious this is and how serious if you flip out and have to be hospitalized.
I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel that you need to speak to your psych doc right away. Your therapist is an idiot.
bizi

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by bizi

Do you have a psych doctor?
They understand being hyper sexual and this is how to get really ffuucked up.
It is a serious symptom of mania.Do you think this is healthy behavior?

Can't you see how obvious this is and how serious if you flip out and have to be hospitalized.
I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel that you need to speak to your psych doc right away. Your therapist is an idiot.
bizi

My therapist WORKS with my psychiatrist. She went to my last appointment with him in fact! I don't know WHAT she's talking about but I researched what exactly my primary can do that my psychiatrist can't and it's pretty much the same thing with the exception of putting me on testosterone suppressing hormones and I don't want to go messing with my hormones like that and like I said my primary is a moron! She's clueless! She'd just look at my file and my med list and tell me to talk to my psychiatrist. I know she would. So my therapist was no help. She was actually quite hurtful. I think her and I are going to have a little chat.

Don't worry. You're not hurting my feelings.

I'm confused and don't understand what's wrong with me anymore.

But I'm calling my psychiatrist's office on Monday and talking to a nurse. I don't care what my therapist thinks about it. Hopefully a nurse there will be more understanding because this is just absolute anguish. I can't concentrate on anything except thoughts of my husband. I write about him. I look at pictures of him. I listen to the lyrics of love songs. It's AWFUL. I'm so hot and bothered I can't stand it!!!!

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

My therapist WORKS with my psychiatrist. She went to my last appointment with him in fact! I don't know WHAT she's talking about but I researched what exactly my primary can do that my psychiatrist can't and it's pretty much the same thing with the exception of putting me on testosterone suppressing hormones and I don't want to go messing with my hormones like that and like I said my primary is a moron! She's clueless! She'd just look at my file and my med list and tell me to talk to my psychiatrist. I know she would. So my therapist was no help. She was actually quite hurtful. I think her and I are going to have a little chat.

Don't worry. You're not hurting my feelings.

I'm confused and don't understand what's wrong with me anymore.

But I'm calling my psychiatrist's office on Monday and talking to a nurse. I don't care what my therapist thinks about it. Hopefully a nurse there will be more understanding because this is just absolute anguish. I can't concentrate on anything except thoughts of my husband. I write about him. I look at pictures of him. I listen to the lyrics of love songs. It's AWFUL. I'm so hot and bothered I can't stand it!!!!

Be sure to mention all your symptoms to the nurse, not just the hypersexuality. You should write out a list of all your symptoms and include them such as the hypersexuality, insomnia, pressured speech, etc. and have the list ready to read to the nurse. It's easy to forget to mention things during a conversation especially when you have hypomania. Frankly, I wouldn't worry about your hormones until you get the hypomania under control. The hypersexuality is a classic symptom of bipolar mania; I'm sure you realize that. Your therapist is an idiot. If she can't recognize hypomania when she sees it, really I'd look into finding a different T.

[MuddyBoots]

Have you tried any opposite actions? Such as not listening to love songs, looking at pictures of someone you refer as a "sex God" at an almost equal amount as "my husband," or writing about him (I'm willing to bet some, if not all, of that is "spicy")? Doing stuff that generally turns people off like cold showers or whatever your personal turn-offs are?

You could direct that sexual energy in a more creative way. Come up with some sort of project that won't make you focus on your husband and his dcck and immerse yourself in it.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Be sure to mention all your symptoms to the nurse, not just the hypersexuality. You should write out a list of all your symptoms and include them such as the hypersexuality, insomnia, pressured speech, etc. and have the list ready to read to the nurse. It's easy to forget to mention things during a conversation especially when you have hypomania. Frankly, I wouldn't worry about your hormones until you get the hypomania under control. The hypersexuality is a classic symptom of bipolar mania; I'm sure you realize that. Your therapist is an idiot. If she can't recognize hypomania when she sees it, really I'd look into finding a different T.

Thank you. Making a list of my symptoms is a good idea. I'll definitely do that! I have to talk to the nurse about my concerns regarding my new POS psychiatrist anyway, so I have an excuse to call if my therapist ever finds out so she can't get mad at me or anything.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

Have you tried any opposite actions? Such as not listening to love songs, looking at pictures of someone you refer as a "sex God" at an almost equal amount as "my husband," or writing about him (I'm willing to bet some, if not all, of that is "spicy")? Doing stuff that generally turns people off like cold showers or whatever your personal turn-offs are?

You could direct that sexual energy in a more creative way. Come up with some sort of project that won't make you focus on your husband and his dcck and immerse yourself in it.

Thank you for the suggestions. I'll try distracting myself today. I can't handle the thought of another long day of longing and unrelenting anguish, so I've been trying to drug myself to sleep with my prn seroquel (just taking 100mg at a time. Not a lot. This won't be another gabapentin situation.).

My friend was texting me pics of really gross looking people to try and turn me off. Lol! It was so funny. It didn't work because all I could STILL think of was my husband half naked when he got up this morning (looking fine!). And he let me touch his knee this morning (after I promised him I wasn't going to try getting on him). ❤️ 😍

I'm going to try looking at things that gross me out today and distracting myself by watching stupid shyt on YouTube or something. Hopefully it'll make the day bearable.

My stupid therapist asked me if I could, you know, myself, and I said no because it wouldn't be the same and I can't watch porn because it would be gross AND it would be disrespecting HIM. Only the GOD OF LOVE ❤️ can satisfy me. Hopefully Tuesday night. He decides.

[raspberrytorte]

Did he REALLY have to put his Sleep Token shirt on? I felt like I was going to swoon!!!