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AmIbp1
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Default Dec 11, 2022 at 09:00 AM
  #41
Hi all, from the male viewpoint on the OP. Disclosure: diagnosed Bipolar 1 12 months ago at age 51; current coctail: lamotrogine, risperidol, and escitalopram.

First, thank you Beth for the OP. This is exactly the topic I was hoping to explore (like @Teachnbipola1991 I am coming here instead of feeding the problem). I'm like Beth and teachnbipolar, hypersexual. When I get (hypo)manic I can lose control. It has led to a disastrously sad life without real fulfillment, an inner struggle that I often lose leading to full on Catholic guilt, and a recent separation from my wife of 22 years (whom I fell immediately in love with 15 years before our marriage and spent my life trying to convnince her I was the one).

I actually considered the hypersexuality (or at least my inability to control it) as one of my symptoms and thought it was a fairly commonplace symptom of bipolar. I am surprised to hear many of you do not suffer the same fate. It has led to delusions of jealousy and some erotomania (never with a famous person, just most non-celebrity people I meet).
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Default Dec 13, 2022 at 09:36 PM
  #42
I have a really high sex drive when manic but outside of those episodes I have zero sex drive. I'm 28 years old and female

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Default Dec 13, 2022 at 09:48 PM
  #43
I've had every diagnosis in the books. But my recent hospitalization was bipolar disorder (very bad racing thoughts). I was diagnosed bipolar with mixed states in 2003 (and acute anxiety disorder). I don't get manic, I get agitated with racing thoughts and I can be agitated and depressed at the same time. It's horrible, been on SSA disability for 20 yrs and been hospitalized over 25 times. I always had a high sex drive (not sure if it was hypersexual or not) but I'm 58 now and it has decreased. Paxil and SSRI's gave me sexual side effects (retrograde ejaculation) and Cymbalta (inability of erection), Not sure if I was hypersexual but my Dr. 30 yrs ago told me he had a patient who masturbated 10 times a day! That's crazy! My sex drive when I was young kept me going-it's what I lived for. Madonna said little while ago that sex had kept her going.

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Default Dec 13, 2022 at 10:16 PM
  #44
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Originally Posted by AmIbp1 View Post
Hi all, from the male viewpoint on the OP. Disclosure: diagnosed Bipolar 1 12 months ago at age 51; current coctail: lamotrogine, risperidol, and escitalopram.

First, thank you Beth for the OP. This is exactly the topic I was hoping to explore (like @Teachnbipola1991 I am coming here instead of feeding the problem). I'm like Beth and teachnbipolar, hypersexual. When I get (hypo)manic I can lose control. It has led to a disastrously sad life without real fulfillment, an inner struggle that I often lose leading to full on Catholic guilt, and a recent separation from my wife of 22 years (whom I fell immediately in love with 15 years before our marriage and spent my life trying to convnince her I was the one).

I actually considered the hypersexuality (or at least my inability to control it) as one of my symptoms and thought it was a fairly commonplace symptom of bipolar. I am surprised to hear many of you do not suffer the same fate. It has led to delusions of jealousy and some erotomania (never with a famous person, just most non-celebrity people I meet).

Welcome, welcome, AmIbp1. It is a delight to meet you. I am so sorry to learn that you and your wife have separated. How are you doing these days?

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Default Dec 13, 2022 at 10:17 PM
  #45
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I have a really high sex drive when manic but outside of those episodes I have zero sex drive. I'm 28 years old and female

That truly is bi-polar. Do you find it difficult?

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Default Dec 13, 2022 at 10:27 PM
  #46
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I've had every diagnosis in the books. But my recent hospitalization was bipolar disorder (very bad racing thoughts). I was diagnosed bipolar with mixed states in 2003 (and acute anxiety disorder). I don't get manic, I get agitated with racing thoughts and I can be agitated and depressed at the same time. It's horrible, been on SSA disability for 20 yrs and been hospitalized over 25 times. I always had a high sex drive (not sure if it was hypersexual or not) but I'm 58 now and it has decreased. Paxil and SSRI's gave me sexual side effects (retrograde ejaculation) and Cymbalta (inability of erection), Not sure if I was hypersexual but my Dr. 30 yrs ago told me he had a patient who masturbated 10 times a day! That's crazy! My sex drive when I was young kept me going-it's what I lived for. Madonna said little while ago that sex had kept her going.

Agitated with racing thoughts...I've experienced similar states and yes, they are quite hellish. You've been through so much, cool. Good for you for making it, for surviving, and for keeping on keeping on. I feel really proud of you for you!

Yeah, I've heard about and read about people who compulsively masturbate almost constantly. It can sound amusing, but way back, back in history before there was medication for such disorders, I doubt such a compulsion was much fun, at all.

I believe Madonna, but then she probably meant sex within reason, and in a variety of ways. Sexy fashion, flirting, sexy dancing, sexy singing...I mean, there are a lot of ways to be sexy besides actual sex. Marilyn Monroe could be sexy just by the way she blinked her eyes.

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Default Dec 13, 2022 at 10:27 PM
  #47
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That truly is bi-polar. Do you find it difficult?

It can be , it used to lead to me ending up in some risky not so great situations due to being reckless during the episodes but it’s not a huge issue for me now since I got on meds that help me a lot

I feel very lucky though to have found a good combo finally that helps me a lot

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Default Dec 15, 2022 at 01:47 AM
  #48
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I'm so glad you've checked in @Tart Cherry Jam. Great news that you like your son's GF, but oh, ouch...the agony of having to be cheery when you feel depressed.

I had a very similar situation in August. My son and dear DIL took my husband and I to lunch; we all had an absolutely lovely time. But I was having issues with my Gabapentin dose, wasn't feeling at all well (physically), but was determined to put on a happy face. (God forbid they should know I'm taking all these psych meds.) So, I pulled it off. But by the time I got home I was drained so badly that I felt terribly unwell and ended up (sorry) puking for hours.

Yeah, this illness is a blast What is your next step with medication?
I can easily see how you would be drained badly after pulling it off. Easily.

My next step with medication is increasing Latuda to see where it leads up. I have started today, upped from 40 mg to 60 mg. Yesterday I could not fall asleep and even Zyprexa did not cut it. It was the second time when Zyprexa did not cut it. Scary, as in the past Zyprexa always caused sleep. Yes it is a blast, this illness.
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Default Dec 15, 2022 at 04:19 PM
  #49
There are so many ways to play around with meds when it comes to sleep, because Latuda can be such a helpful med if the Zyprexa isn't helping with sleep. Have you ever used melatonin?

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Default Dec 15, 2022 at 08:22 PM
  #50
So being off meds for awhile has increased my sex drive. But it may because I need that closeness to feel we (as a couple) are okay. 2-3x a day is the only time I feel like I'm not ****ing up. And that's with him being insight reassuring me. I can't imagine if he had to leave for hours at a time.

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Default Dec 16, 2022 at 10:22 AM
  #51
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So being off meds for awhile has increased my sex drive. But it may because I need that closeness to feel we (as a couple) are okay. 2-3x a day is the only time I feel like I'm not ****ing up. And that's with him being insight reassuring me. I can't imagine if he had to leave for hours at a time.

Security sex.

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Default Dec 17, 2022 at 11:58 PM
  #52
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There are so many ways to play around with meds when it comes to sleep, because Latuda can be such a helpful med if the Zyprexa isn't helping with sleep. Have you ever used melatonin?
Yes and I stopped it since it was not doing anything. A lot of things are not doing anything for my sleep whereas they normally help others.

Latuda seems to be working now. Afraid to jinx it! Just have had three days on the increased dose.
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Default Jan 27, 2023 at 12:44 PM
  #53
Yeah I go through boughts of hypersexuality it has been awhile since the last time but when it hits it hits hard. Good luck to you.

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Default Jan 27, 2023 at 02:45 PM
  #54
Honestly at this point I'm definte leaning towards being assexual. I knew there was a chance my surgery would destroy my sex drive. But saving my mental health was a lot more important.

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Default Feb 08, 2023 at 11:45 AM
  #55
Greetigns all, new here. Thanks everyone for sharing about such a vulnerable topic.

I have definitely gone through phases of hypersexuality, and now that I have learned more about this condition, it's easy to see when I must have been experiencing some mania in my younger days. I'm sure all the alcohol I was consuming didn't help! Thankfully I don't do that anymore. I am now on lexapro. I definitely have periods where my libido is higher than other times. I just had an episode last weekend and I have essentially zero sex drive right now. But the week before that my wife and I had (really great) sex once a day for a couple of weeks. Sex is something that helps us feel connected so we try to do it at least every other day regardless of what is going on in our lives, if not every day. If we go more than a few days we both start to feel disconnected and weirdly off.

I have had my share of infidelities and affairs, in basically every relationship I have ever been in. My first marriage was full of them - I think I had 4 affairs total, one of them lasting for over a year somehow. Not necessarily proud of that fact. One of them (the longest one) was with someone that I came to care deeply for, and we had a lengthy romantic relationship with lots of feelings. We talked about me leaving my wife for her but that never materialized. She is now married to someone else and is an excellent stepmom! We are still facebook friends and there are no hard feelings. Can't say the same about my other past partners.
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