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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 02:52 PM
  #141
That's a lot of carrots Soupe, but that's a really wonderful idea to give them to the parrots , that's very kind

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 02:56 PM
  #142
I went to the store today and also the library. Then I went to the coffee social downstairs in the community room in the lobby which was nice.

I have a therapy appointment in an hour (it's over video chat)
Feeling really good. The dose increase in the thorazine has helped a lot

Got my free turkey yesterday and all the sides and stuff. I put it in the freezer because I want to save it to cook it for Christmas. Just not feeling ambitious enough to cook a turkey Thursday

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 03:01 PM
  #143
Christina, hope Steve improves soon

The egg rolls sound great

And yeah time really does fly. I remember when I was a kid it felt like it went so slowly and I just wanted the time to hurry up

Now I'm 28 years old and feel like time moves too fast

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 03:07 PM
  #144
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I went to the store today and also the library. Then I went to the coffee social downstairs in the community room in the lobby which was nice.

I have a therapy appointment in an hour (it's over video chat)
Feeling really good. The dose increase in the thorazine has helped a lot

Got my free turkey yesterday and all the sides and stuff. I put it in the freezer because I want to save it to cook it for Christmas. Just not feeling ambitious enough to cook a turkey Thursday

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Yay! That sounds all so wonderful, Birdie! How great that the dose increase is helping. I wish I could have been at your coffee social. What a good way to get out and see people, but not be overwhelmed.

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 03:09 PM
  #145
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Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post


Yay! That sounds all so wonderful, Birdie! How great that the dose increase is helping. I wish I could have been at your coffee social. What a good way to get out and see people, but not be overwhelmed.
Yeah it would be cool to have a coffee social with you and everyone here

It is good because it helps me get more comfortable with being around people more. I have a hard time being around 1 or 2 people let alone several people. I'm working on it though

How are you today?

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 03:10 PM
  #146
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I’ve actually always been allowed to try what I wanted to try except for once when I wanted to try amitriptyline and the psychiatrist thought I was too high a suicide risk at that particular time for that particular med. But every other time - in hospital and in community mental health and in private mental health I’ve always been allowed to make suggestions and try them. I guess they figure you’re more likely to stick to taking them if you choose them. Maybe it’s a difference between countries too. My GPs have been the same with most meds too - if there are options they give you the choice as long as you can make an informed decision,

That, my friend, is wise medicine! Yes - we are most likely to do well with, and remain taking, medications we choose and believe will help us. A power struggle is guaranteed to result in failure for both doctor and patient.

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 03:25 PM
  #147
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...
Beth… I’m sorry you have a ongoing situation with your med dude. I think sometimes they kind of run into a corner and not sure what to do to be honest. Not that it’s fair for you at all.
...
Yes, I agree. Problem is, med dude ran into a corner and wasn't sure what to do from day #1. He's inexperienced and he is treating a diagnosis. He is not treating me as an individual. Example:

ME: "I have had some benefit with Lamictal at 350mg."

HIM (hurriedly scrolling through a medical text on his phone): "Ahhh...yeaaahhhh...but, nooo...Lamictal's ceiling dose for bipolar disorder is 200mg."

I DON'T GIVE AN EFF WHAT YOUR BOOK SAYS I WAS IN TREATMENT WITH A PDOC WHO HAD DECADES OF EXPERIENCE ON YOU & SHE PRESCRIBED 350MG OF LAMICTAL WHICH HELPED MY SEASONAL DEPRESSION WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU CHILD WHO IS MY SON'S AGE YOU WEREN'T EVEN BORN WHEN I STARTED TAKING PSYCH MEDS

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 03:52 PM
  #148
I ran out of valium last night. It wasn't a big deal. I had planned on this. The fill day was tommorow and they always fill it a day or so early. So I just went in at 9 and they filled it with no problem and I took my 1st one a couple hours late. I'm having an issue though with my Geodon 20 and I get its the holidays and stuff. I have 2 left I'm saving for when I'm gone this week. Being out of the 20mil Geodon isn't as big a deal as the valium so I'm not too worried.

Besides that I got some grocery shopping done this morning. There was an old lady in front of us who wasn't even making a scene and just said something, I think about the other store being less expensive. Then when she left the cashier started complaning to the bagger about how the lady should shop there then and be grateful because "its the holidays and ****." I get they are probably pretty overworked but I don't think swearing in front of customers is ok. The bagger just ignored her. I always find retail and grocery employees to be the most unpleasent around the holidays and I can understand why, but this cashier just seemed annoyed for no reason.

I'm just at home now not doing much. Pain wise I'm ok but I did take tylenol and a zofran earlier. Anxiety wise I'm doing decently.

I just got a call saying my Geodon was ready. So I took one of the ones I had left and I'll pick it up in the morning. I hope my pdoc doesn't find out I'm 5 short. But I mean he wasn't helping me out at all so I kinda just did my own thing. I can always say I was going out of town and needed them when I got back. Which isn't techinally a complete lie.

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 04:01 PM
  #149
I managed Walmart today. Snagged a parking spot right up front. Was gonna grap a tiny ity bitty mini string light for the Christmas flowers I bought from hobby lobby but that area was closed. But got everything else on my list. A wine opener cause that disappeared. ( mum has a habit of going though cupboards and drawers and putting things in boxes for my sister to give away. We try to make sure nothing we need is in them, but….) a funnel to put the wine back in the bottle so I can transport it. Hooks and a level cause mum got rid of all my dads tools. And a zillion batteries, which is part of my gift to the grandkids.

Mum had a foot doctor appointment for her nails. Thanks to info from Bizi, I looked up foot doctors and found one that will do mum’s feet. The lady nurse at the senior center won’t do them cause she has an ingrown nail. So now we’re on a 3 month cycle. She did mum’s hands too. No foot rub or lotion unfortunately but she did check her pulse and for other foot problems. Be nice if bizi was in this area!

Despite the early darkness I’m doing well. Excited to start decorating after thanksgiving. Especially since we found all my angels. I have Christmas angels from around the world. I thought they were lost in the move but they were back in with the clothes and bedroom stuff. So yay!

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 04:06 PM
  #150
I'm not sure how I feel. I know I don't feel very good...I feel fragile, yet I also see myself as strong for coping through this. I'm so afraid of feeling very depressed/anxious that I'm telling myself not to feel depressed/anxious because nothing can be done, so I'd better not feel it.

So, helpless,I guess? Afraid? Trapped? A victim?

My therapist and I talked, yesterday, about me not feeling like I'm a victim now. That I have choices and options. Traditionally, I have been good about making use of choices and options. I haven't been one to hesitate.

I've also never been this isolated (in a town with so few options for connecting with others). I've never been this flat broke, with zero access to any money of my own, except the $250 SSDI I receive once/month. The situation in this country has never, in my life, been so strange...wild at heart and weird on top (and to think I thought the Reagan years were odd!).

I'm struggling to figure out how to make something positive happen, in this place and time.

Anyway, to bring it to today, I have an appointment with med dude later this afternoon. I already feel like everything I say to him, he'll shoot down. I feel like he just wants me to say status quo so he can slide off easy and get out of there (he's there for a whole hour today). I'd like to tell him I feel he's minimizing my depression and treating me as a disorder, not as a me. But I fear doing that because if I do he may pull the personality disorder card - which they are known to do when you come right out and challenge them - then all bets are off and you are tossed aside as having incurable, terminal cancer of the psyche. A lost cause, untreatable. "DBT skills. Practice those, they might help. Make an appointment for a month out."

Bipolar check-in #71

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 04:11 PM
  #151
You are a holiday inspiration @Nammu!

And a big hurrah for @bizi

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 05:20 PM
  #152
Sorry Beth, I hope things improve with your med person or you find someone that can help you I hope you feel better

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 05:24 PM
  #153
….and the picture is hung! ✅ anyone want a level? I’m sure we won’t be using it again.

Plus my solid perfume came today. Two stone containers, one amber and one jasmine.

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 05:32 PM
  #154
I had a good appointment with my therapist

Working on my impulsive spending. I did well with it for awhile but when I was hypomanic recently I started again. Otherwise I’m doing really well

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 05:54 PM
  #155
I’m glad you had a good appointment, that can be a real game changer. A good therapist is an excellent help.

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 07:07 PM
  #156
Thanks Nammu, yes she is wonderful. I have been seeing both her and my psychiatrist for 6 years. They're both great

Decorating is so much fun, I hope you have a fun time with it

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 07:21 PM
  #157
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...There was an old lady in front of us who wasn't even making a scene and just said something, I think about the other store being less expensive. Then when she left the cashier started complaning to the bagger about how the lady should shop there then and be grateful because "its the holidays and ****."
....

That is messed up.

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 07:28 PM
  #158
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….and the picture is hung! ✅ anyone want a level? I’m sure we won’t be using it again.

Plus my solid perfume came today. Two stone containers, one amber and one jasmine.

Ooh! Enjoy those scents - nice ones! 2 of my favorites, for sure. I used solid perfume in high school. I bought it at a head shop called Anapurna in Berkeley. The scents stayed so much better than oils did, for me.

Haha, my parents were interior designers and having to sit on a chair very still while they measured, leveled, re-measured, re-level, repeat, pictures was a very early memory of mine. Nope, I don't want your level, lol.

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 07:32 PM
  #159
Thank you @Blue_Bird I appreciate your kindness. Yay for the good therapy appointment! What a difference that does make. I, too, had a helpful one yesterday and it is giving me a feeling of...I think the word is empowerment...today.

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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 07:36 PM
  #160
Do your perfumes look like this @Nammu?

Bipolar check-in #71

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