Bipolar check-in #71

New post for a new thread. I'll post a link on the other thread and ask for it to be closed.

Thanks rainbow 🌈

So earlier the living dead fish was missing. I have no idea where he was. Then a bit ago I glanced at the tank and he started swimming all over at a rapid pace.

Think I can just avoid looking that way until Satuday night?

Lol. 😂

@Aurelius710
I’m sorry about your hours being cut. I know that’s a problem in customer service. I do hope you’re able to pick more up in January like your boss says!

@*Beth*
I know depression feels like a bottomless pit. It’s so dark down there, so completely black, you can’t see even an inch in front of your face. But there’s always a ladder, somewhere. Your mind just won’t see it until it’s ready. So hold on, sit down, and curl up, but don’t get comfortable. Look for that ladder on your skates, or with your kitties, or anywhere you might be able to reach it.

And I agree with beyond the rainbow, Emsam worked very well for me, and if you stay on 6mg you don’t have to worry about all the food restrictions. Just otc med/vitamin restrictions. It’s really just some cold medicines though. Worth a shot if it’s covered by insurance.

Good post to Beth about depression, wildflowerchild

I'm still behind in this thread.

Beyondtherainbow, I didn't know you had fish, what sort of fish (?) I'm missing the joke though, I must have missed a lot of posts

I wouldn't be allergic to fish.. I had thought of fish (not to eat). Papa bear isn't keen and I'm not sure though.

It's a long story but this summer I took care of my sister's cat while they were on vacation. The first night I had to clean a dead bird out of their pool. (And I'm squeamish about dead things). Every day after that the cat brought me a gift of a dead animal. It was funny because every day I got something bigger and less likely for a small cat to kill. One night I was almost asleep and heard her crying because she'd brought me a present at 1 AM. It was a joke on here to see what she'd bring me next. Every day I had to clean up a rather nasty mess. I was beginning to suspect her next kill would be a deer because it was getting larger daily, including a blue jay (a big bird if you don't have them).


Now I'm watching my mom's dog, fish and chickens and last night her betta fish appeared to be dead. I got ready to take care of it and just when I was prepared to open the tank he swam past my face. Moments before he was upside down, folded in half, seemingly completely lifeless. So now I'm just waiting to see if he'll do me the favor of dying when my mom is home or opt as is typical of pets I'm watching and die on me.


I don't know why people leave me in charge of their pets....

I was looking for an image of a little girl aged 4 with a boxer dog (I haven't found one yet. I did find a video) I have (or had?) a picture of me aged 4 with (our) boxer dog. If I find it I'll post it. We don't have too much junk here, except for in the loft. It will probably take me a long time to find it (if I ever do)

I did find this, she looks a little like our girl did.

Aquariums are fun. My mom has 2. One with the living dead betta (I think it's 2 gallons?) since bettas don't get along with other fish. The other is a 10 gallon and it's a little sad right now because there was a mean guppy who killed a few fish before dying himself. So there's just the survivor and the bottom cleaner. But she'll get more next time we're near the fish store.

For best results you have to test the water periodically and monitor the temperature and so it really does feel like caring for a pet. Plus they are fun to look at.

I was finally able to get the meds I've been waiting three days on. I've been trying to get them to the pharmacy I spend the most time near (as I split time between three different locations), but, to put it charitably, bureaucracy made sure nothing got done in the short term. The Klonopin is one thing (as it's a controlled substance), but the Wally World pharmacy wouldn't transfer the other two because the last refill was used (but not picked up) at another Wally World pharmacy and as far as they were concerned, that meant I had no prescriptions to transfer despite the fact I had the exact same prescriptions available to pick up at the other Wally World. You'd think this kind of thing would be easy for a company like that, but apparently not.

Speaking of meds, Klonopin. My first experience with the drug (during my first IP visit) left a lot to be desired, as

I must have a particular sensitivity to the drug, as I took the low dose prescribed by my PsychNP and I was asleep for a good nine hours. Being too sleepy to care is nice for evening time, but for working time, well, you get the idea.

An aside: I had a bizarre dream last night. All it was was spam. I was surfing through an email spam folder deleting stuff. The "spam emails," the few I remember, were related to issues in my life I could stand to cut out. Not a particularly subtle metaphor, but I had to give my subconscious points for creativity!

Work was particularly stressful. I had a few individuals who could not comprehend that I, as a third party, could not make "executive decisions" on their behalf. Basically, they wanted money back over an item they would not provide proof of purchase for and bristled when I asked them to verify it another way, annoyed that I wouldn't just trust them. I have a motto for situations like that: "In God We Trust, All Others Verify." Works for a lot of forward facing jobs. At any rate, they kept pushing me, the third party with no real power here, for an hour and a half. I was just holding it together by the end.

Today should be OK. I have some paperwork to make up and I'm in the other store, so it should be a breather.

Not really related to anything, but my Sophie hard at work watching the neighborhood and keeping the squirrels in line!

MD in response to your post in the last checkin thread about Pristiq - in my experience it was as hard to come off as Effexor which was pretty bad. The way I finally got off it was to switch to Prozac which had a long half life and took that for a short time (can’t remember how long - maybe a week?) and then came off that. Because Prozac has such a long half life it’s easy to come off (well some people might have problems but I never have).

I was feeling pretty crummy this morning and I just wanted to stay in bed forever, and I absolutely did NOT want to go for a run or do any HIIT. It didn't help that my case manager called instead of coming over and forcing me to do stuff. I managed to muster up the strength to go for a quick 20 minute run up my road and back (and showered after) and feel much better now. Exercise. Good stuff.

Sophie looks like she's taking her job very seriously! She's beautiful

Your cat is adorable Aurelius , she definitely does look very serious

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The community thanksgiving lunch is today in my apartment building (I live in a supportive housing place so they have events and stuff like this) so I’m heading down to that in about 30 minutes

I hope you all have a nice Friday , I will be back on later after I get back from the lunch so I’ll post and reply more then

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Christina, thanks for wishing me luck in the previous thread about the volunteering. I’m really hoping to hear from them. And your dogs are adorable

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So the thanksgiving lunch was great. We got to choose our drink, there was sodas, waters, and juices to choose from. I chose grape juice. We also got to chose a bag of chips (I chose honey bbq)

The meal was penna alla vodka, chicken parm, scalloped potatoes, vegetables and a choice of either apple pie or sweet potato pie. I chose sweet potato because I have never had sweet potato pie before and I really liked it. I ate all the penne and some of the chicken parm. I have a bunch of leftovers.

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Hope you feel better MuddyBoots, exercise helps my mental health too

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@bluebird the dinner sounds wonderful. So many choices! Oo the pie choice would be tough.

Took mum to her hair appointment. While she was there ran to the library and picked up my books. Both requests were waiting for me so now I need to read fast. Then a bit later took mum to her PT. While she was there I swung by hobby lobby to look for hooks. Instead I brought Christmas flowers. Then I buzzed though the fabric store and found a hook. I’m getting into the decorations this year!