Do you care?

raspberrytorte · Jan 31, 2023 at 01:22 PM

I'm on meds and no longer care. I'm diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder bipolar type and have been for the past seven years (and seeing the same pdoc, so he's witnessed my symptoms). I don't care about that either. It's such a relief!

I was wondering how you felt about your diagnosis and meds?

Do you care?

Do you no longer care?

Are you happy?

Are you sad?

Are you angry?

I'm just curious. Lol. Sorry. I feel social!

MuddyBoots · Jan 31, 2023 at 01:26 PM

I have the same diagnosis plus PTSD. Oddly, I don't care about the schizoaffective dx because that's just something biochemical that happened to come about in my brain, but PTSD feels different because it's a mess I feel I caused (that I really didn't, but you know how that goes...)

So I'm indifferent towards my sza dx but angry about my PTSD dx.

raspberrytorte · Jan 31, 2023 at 02:27 PM

Yeah. I can't imagine how PTSD must feel

Brentus · Jan 31, 2023 at 04:31 PM

My diagnoses and meds are in my signature, on top of Borderline Personality Disorder -- I wish I could say I didn't care, but part of me really does. I know it's been said a thousand times but people are not symptoms, but an accumulation of experiences and it adds a lot of depth to their suffering with disorders. Labels are more for insurance companies anyways -- mental health is more like a spectrum where you can fall on multiple points, at varying degrees -- in my humble opinion.

My meds? I don't care anymore. I've tried so many things and finally a cocktail that partially works better than others? Just be content with what I have. If it works, it works.

The stigma of both meds and my conditions are hard for me.

Victoria'smom · Jan 31, 2023 at 06:50 PM

I'm happy to know my DX. Meds are another story. I loathe medicine. Even when it helps me, even when I seek it out, I just hate it. The fact that I'm literally reliant on pills to survive kills me.

Nammu · Jan 31, 2023 at 09:23 PM

I’m diagnosed bipolar 1 and I’m indifferent to it.

I’m finally on the right medication I care very much that I continue to have insurance and coverage for this medication so my life can be average.

*Beth* · 12:29 AM

Great post, rt.

I am no longer attached to my diagnosis. I have learned not to be from a med prescriber who saw me as "bipolar disorder" not as "Beth." A very foolish mistake. It is unwise to put the diagnosis before the individual.

On the other side of the coin, my therapist is very good about understanding my bipolar disorder while treating my PTSD.

Meds. I hate that I need them. That I have them is a miracle to me.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jan 31, 2023 at 09:44 PM

I’m just thankful for meds and skills that keep me ok.

Soupe du jour · Feb 01, 2023 at 06:01 AM

Do I care that I have bipolar disorder and must take medications? Of course I do! I can't imagine any reasonable person not giving any damn that they have a mental illness. Or liking it. It's a crap thing to have, but then we must accept plenty of crap things in life. Initially, I had acceptance problems and some cold turkey off medications periods, and they were absolute disaster periods leading to a horrible "bottom"! I eventually learned to accept what I needed to do to find remission.

I try my best to be happy in life. I do have an interesting one. Being mindful of the present and making interesting plans for the future help me not think of stupid bipolar disorder all of the time. I am not the disorder, but know the vulnerability towards mood issues lurks in my brain, still potentially triggered into action, if I'm not careful. I don't cry about it or say "Whoa is me!" I see that as a waste of time and of no value. Sometimes I do still get a little angry, though. We're all entitled to some occasional "Booooooo Hissssses".

Aviza · Feb 01, 2023 at 06:58 PM

I hate being mentally ill, relying on meds to keep me sane and thus relying on insurance to pay for those meds. I have to work because that's the insurance I have through the county. Working disabled.

I have limits with SSDI I try very hard to stay within. Not always successful honestly and I will suffer for it. The joy of my job is it can turn full time if they kick me off disability, and I'm not sure but I think cause of work I have a ticking clock with SSDI.

I hoard meds cause I fear running out. I will lose everything I've tried to build if I suffer another break. At least my apt is subsidized so worse case I lose my job my rent goes down but I have debt that's another reason I'm still working. plan to cut up credit cards eventually. Just keep it to two.

Also, I get so bored I need to work. idle minds.

raspberrytorte · Feb 26, 2023 at 11:45 AM

I should restate myself. I care about being on meds because I'm so dependant o them! If I don't take them I start getting shaky and sweaty. But I'm grateful for them because they keep me out of the state mental hospital (been there for a month. Didn't like it).

Mountaindewed · Feb 26, 2023 at 12:02 PM

I don't mind my diagnosis now that I finally found a therapist whos comfortable working with a bipolar autistic trans man with an eating disorder and treats me as me and not my diagnosis. There are not many therapists like that out there. Although she could lay off about some things once in awhile. I'm glad I found a med combo that works and doesn't have any real side effects. I'd like to kick the valium habit though.

raspberrytorte · Feb 26, 2023 at 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I don't mind my diagnosis now that I finally found a therapist whos comfortable working with a bipolar autistic trans man with an eating disorder and treats me as me and not my diagnosis. There are not many therapists like that out there. Although she could lay off about some things once in awhile. I'm glad I found a med combo that works and doesn't have any real side effects. I'd like to kick the valium habit though.

I'd like to kick my Valium dependency too, but I can't handle benzo withdrawal! I want to stop it because I don't want to be on a controlled substance, and I was in the hospital last February for a psychotic episode and the asshole inpatient doctor just took me off it cold turkey.... it was awful! I don't want something like that to happen again.

raspberrytorte · Feb 26, 2023 at 03:24 PM

Oh, I should add, I wish I could hoard my meds, but I get them bubble packed so it's difficult

Mar 04, 2023 at 10:23 AM

to me, I would say I fear being " normal"

before my diagnoses I didn't really have a plan for my life. I got diagnosed with condition after condition, booted out of school, unable to work, lost friends and family, and I know now (or at least I reckon), if things went back to normal, and I woke up one day cured, I would not know what to do with myself

so much time has passed, that it wouldn't be easy to just, " start again"

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raspberrytorte Insert Smiley Face Member Since Mar 2015 Location: USA Posts: 5,544 9 4,878 hugs given	Jan 31, 2023 at 02:27 PM #3 Yeah. I can't imagine how PTSD must feel __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days.
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HALLIEBETH87 Legendary Member Since Oct 2004 Location: usa Posts: 11,197 19 2,742 hugs given	Jan 31, 2023 at 09:44 PM #8 I’m just thankful for meds and skills that keep me ok. __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin
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raspberrytorte Insert Smiley Face Member Since Mar 2015 Location: USA Posts: 5,544 9 4,878 hugs given	Feb 26, 2023 at 11:45 AM #11 I should restate myself. I care about being on meds because I'm so dependant o them! If I don't take them I start getting shaky and sweaty. But I'm grateful for them because they keep me out of the state mental hospital (been there for a month. Didn't like it). __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days.
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raspberrytorte Insert Smiley Face Member Since Mar 2015 Location: USA Posts: 5,544 9 4,878 hugs given	Feb 26, 2023 at 03:24 PM #14 Oh, I should add, I wish I could hoard my meds, but I get them bubble packed so it's difficult __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days.
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