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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 04:02 AM
  #241
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
Later today, my sister and I (and some other close family, like my dad's only remaining brother) will say goodbye to Dad for the last time. I've been thinking about what best to say on such a horrible horrible ocassion. And it will be over the phone, since I'm still in Czechia. It's not fully hit me, yet his deterioration has been a long process over the years. I want to only remember him as the dad we knew before my mother's early death. There are a lot of memories I much prefer before that time.

My brother is still in the hospital suffering. Sis was told that he's having auditory and visual hallucinations, and paranoia. They'll be testing why. We sure hope his cancer has not spread to his brain. If not, it would seem understandable having these reactions, given all the stress and misery. Perhaps my poor brother may not have a chance to say goodbye to Dad.

I am so sorry for you all! Take care of all the good memories from the time you father was was healthy. Hope for the best for your brother!

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 07:47 AM
  #242
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
Later today, my sister and I (and some other close family, like my dad's only remaining brother) will say goodbye to Dad for the last time. I've been thinking about what best to say on such a horrible horrible ocassion. And it will be over the phone, since I'm still in Czechia. It's not fully hit me, yet his deterioration has been a long process over the years. I want to only remember him as the dad we knew before my mother's early death. There are a lot of memories I much prefer before that time.

My brother is still in the hospital suffering. Sis was told that he's having auditory and visual hallucinations, and paranoia. They'll be testing why. We sure hope his cancer has not spread to his brain. If not, it would seem understandable having these reactions, given all the stress and misery. Perhaps my poor brother may not have a chance to say goodbye to Dad.
oh my, I’ll be a pocket rider. This is one of life’s harder moments. I’ll be there in spirit.

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 09:23 AM
  #243
Sorry for your loss!!! I’ll be thinking of you!

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 10:24 AM
  #244
Brrr 🥶 it’s still below freezing without the windchill but I went to aqua fitness all the same. Everyone was there today! The extra light must be getting people going in the mornings. There’s a couple people from aquatic life that also do the senior center stuff.

Got laundry to do today.

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 10:39 AM
  #245
@Soupe du jour:

My heart goes out to you on this sad occasion. I feel you are doing the right thing by remembering your dad when things were better. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 11:26 AM
  #246
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
Later today, my sister and I (and some other close family, like my dad's only remaining brother) will say goodbye to Dad for the last time. I've been thinking about what best to say on such a horrible horrible ocassion. And it will be over the phone, since I'm still in Czechia. It's not fully hit me, yet his deterioration has been a long process over the years. I want to only remember him as the dad we knew before my mother's early death. There are a lot of memories I much prefer before that time.

My brother is still in the hospital suffering. Sis was told that he's having auditory and visual hallucinations, and paranoia. They'll be testing why. We sure hope his cancer has not spread to his brain. If not, it would seem understandable having these reactions, given all the stress and misery. Perhaps my poor brother may not have a chance to say goodbye to Dad.
I’m so sorry to see this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sending gentle hugs and supportive vibes to you
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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 11:40 AM
  #247
I’ve had a rough few days. Called the crisis line 3 times in 3 days. Have called my NP for a first available. Texted back and forth with my therapist over the weekend. I have some difficult, painful things occurring in my life right now and that type of thinking does not help make anything better. I’m very thankful that I have supportive friends as my family is not.

I just had an outstanding session with my therapist and I’m about to head out to a 90 minute hot stone massage. After that I’ll buy myself flowers and come home and cook a healthy meal for mom and myself.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day and evening. Much love
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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 11:59 AM
  #248
I’m at work and so far the
Day has gone well!

I can’t believe graduation I’m 6 weeks away! Omg’!!!

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 12:26 PM
  #249
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Originally Posted by Sunflower123 View Post
I’ve had a rough few days. Called the crisis line 3 times in 3 days. Have called my NP for a first available. Texted back and forth with my therapist over the weekend. I have some difficult, painful things occurring in my life right now and that type of thinking does not help make anything better. I’m very thankful that I have supportive friends as my family is not.

I just had an outstanding session with my therapist and I’m about to head out to a 90 minute hot stone massage. After that I’ll buy myself flowers and come home and cook a healthy meal for mom and myself.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day and evening. Much love

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 12:29 PM
  #250
Soupe, I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 01:51 PM
  #251
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
Later today, my sister and I (and some other close family, like my dad's only remaining brother) will say goodbye to Dad for the last time. I've been thinking about what best to say on such a horrible horrible ocassion. And it will be over the phone, since I'm still in Czechia. It's not fully hit me, yet his deterioration has been a long process over the years. I want to only remember him as the dad we knew before my mother's early death. There are a lot of memories I much prefer before that time.

My brother is still in the hospital suffering. Sis was told that he's having auditory and visual hallucinations, and paranoia. They'll be testing why. We sure hope his cancer has not spread to his brain. If not, it would seem understandable having these reactions, given all the stress and misery. Perhaps my poor brother may not have a chance to say goodbye to Dad.
A year ago I had to say goodbye to my dad on the phone because he lived in America. It was sooo hard. It was a 5 minute conversation and whilst I don’t remember everything I said I remember telling him I love him and that I knew he loved me too (he couldn’t speak in his final hours). Man that was tough and I will remember it forever
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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 01:57 PM
  #252
I’m so pleased I slept until 5:00 today when my partner woke me up! I think my days of being up at 1:00am are finally over after months of not sleeping!

Yesterday I unpacked the laundry and the linen cupboard.

Today I want to do more clothes in my bedroom, the master ensuite bathroom and put together the bench for the new patio set outside.

Things are starting to come together nicely!
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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 02:10 PM
  #253
A school shooting in Nashville this morning. Was at a Christian school for K - 6th grade.

3 children and 3 adults killed. The shooter was identified as a 28 year old female who was shot and killed.

Another senseless tragedy.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 03:58 PM
  #254
@Soupe du jour:

Just after saying i would keep you in my thoughts, i turned the page in my puzzle book and found this!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Puzzle for Soupe.jpg (370.9 KB, 10 views)
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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 04:27 PM
  #255
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
Later today, my sister and I (and some other close family, like my dad's only remaining brother) will say goodbye to Dad for the last time. I've been thinking about what best to say on such a horrible horrible ocassion. And it will be over the phone, since I'm still in Czechia. It's not fully hit me, yet his deterioration has been a long process over the years. I want to only remember him as the dad we knew before my mother's early death. There are a lot of memories I much prefer before that time.


My brother is still in the hospital suffering. Sis was told that he's having auditory and visual hallucinations, and paranoia. They'll be testing why. We sure hope his cancer has not spread to his brain. If not, it would seem understandable having these reactions, given all the stress and misery. Perhaps my poor brother may not have a chance to say goodbye to Dad.
I'm so sorry, Soupe. In a way, it's good to be able to say farewell, you can say the things that you want to say and will remember this for a long time.

My sister's friend, also a friend to me, passed away a few years ago and I had a chance to speak to her before she passed. It gave me a sense of closure and I wasn't as hurt during the funeral because I had a chance to say goodbye. It was a difficult conversation and there were lots of tears during and after.

Stay strong, Soupe.

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 04:36 PM
  #256
I had a training session yesterday, it was tough. Then, believe it or not I went back today to work out again.

I'm so hungry because of all the exercise. I'm being careful and not overdoing it. I'll take a break tomorrow and back to training on Wednesday.

My sleep is better. Two 9 hour nights but I wake up multiple times, but I'm able to go back to sleep which is good.

I've transitioned to government support now that I've used up all my disability benefits at work. I'm getting enough to cover my mortgage which is good. Still have to dip into savings for my other expenses but the government support helps.

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 05:00 PM
  #257
Oh lord, insurance companies make zero sense. I got a letter today saying the generic latuda I just got was covered only for that one time and would not be covered again! Ohh, so scared. I called the number on the letter and talked to a very nice lady who called a pharmacy. It seems if I continue to get the name brand latuda it will be covered but the generic won’t be covered. It cost both them and me more but at least I’ll get it. It’s $6 dollars more for me but thousands for them. It makes zero sense. But for a couple of hours I was so scared I’d end up in the hospital if my meds weren’t available to me. For my daughter they quit covering the brand name but do cover the generic. She ended up in the hospital for a week before it was straightened out. What random hell is the USA medical industry?

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 05:54 PM
  #258
Oh Soupe, that is just terrible. I will keep you in my thoughts and send lots of good vibes your way.

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 07:10 PM
  #259
@soupe - sending best wishes and hugs

I didn't sleep well last night and had a stomach ache all night. I'm going to stick to not eating after 7pm. So tired of stomach issues - had them for years.

Will someone tell me how to reference a member so they will see a notification? I'm using the @ sign but it doesn't seem to work

Anyway.... 3 days until my friend's assisted death. She has terminal cancer. I really hate losing people. I really hope they are in a better place and I will see them again one day, yet I am unable to feel certainty or hold strong beliefs about this. I personally hope NOT to be reincarnated. Although I think if reincarnation is ever proven, and especially if it's proven to be RANDOM, I think all the billionaires would make pretty darned sure that every child worldwide has health care, education, and a chance at a good life!!!
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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 07:17 PM
  #260
Work went well today. I forgot the schedule and some of the ways we run things but I figured it out pretty quick. The kids were a little thrown off being as it is an autistic classroom and some of our kids are very rigid in routine. Me coming back disrupted the routine they had fallen into. But they adjusted with little issue. It was interesting to be around my kids again, I forgot how funny they are. One of the nonverbal girls broke into the bathroom and played in the toilet while I was fishing the nonverbal boy’s milk sippy cup out of the trash just another day in the life haha.

Tomorrow I am taking a half day to go to meet my new pdoc. Reviews online go either way on this guy. I’m going to bring up Emsam and maybe see if I can weasel some Xanax or Ativan out of him because every single day around 4pm I fall into an intense anxiety attack. My heart races above 100bpm and I feel like I can’t breathe. Idk why it’s always at 4pm but I’m getting tired of it. If he’s acceptable I’m going to keep him. Im not looking for amazing right now, I really don’t have the wherewithal to search high and low for a new pdoc. But if he treats me like **** from the off then I’ll have to find someone else.

We’re lucky we’re supposed to get our tax return this week. Gotta pay mortgage and electric and I’m pretty sure I owe one of my credit cards too. I’m not going to get paid until April 15 and I won’t get my money from the state until April 12.

I’m still quite low. I feel just awful about myself. I’m sure I can fix that myself but I don’t have the energy to deal with it right now.

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