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HALLIEBETH87
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Default May 03, 2023 at 07:33 PM
  #981
Last assignment of undergrad is done! Two days til
Graduation!

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Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type
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Default May 03, 2023 at 07:42 PM
  #982
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Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
Last assignment of undergrad is done! Two days til
Graduation!
Yay! Congratulations @HALLIEBETH87
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Default May 03, 2023 at 07:44 PM
  #983
Congratulations @HALLIEBETH87 ! You’ve come a long way and worked so hard through everything! Be proud of yourself!

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f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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Default May 03, 2023 at 08:01 PM
  #984
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Does anyone ever feel like their brain is especially slow moving when coming out/coming down from a manic episode? I feel like I have nothing to say half the time the past few days, like I can't think or my brain isn't moving fast enough since restarting my meds. I worry that I'm boring my boyfriend because I haven't been super talkative like I was when manic (among other things, impulsive, hypersexual, reckless etc) I'm just worried that my regular self is too boring.
I once said that to a pdoc I had and he told me the people around me were probably glad I was boring because it’s exhausting to keep up with mania.

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Default May 03, 2023 at 08:11 PM
  #985
It finally got fixed. So I didn't get my SSI check till today. I had been completely kicked out of the system. They didn't know how many months it would take to fix. Thankfully it wasn't that long.

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Default May 03, 2023 at 09:37 PM
  #986
Congratulations HallieBeth!

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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
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Default May 04, 2023 at 05:07 AM
  #987
Never fails. I haven't been able to sleep at all tonight, with an 8am doctor's appointment coming. This one's with an ENT to finally discuss the partial voice loss from January. 5 Hour Energy it is!

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"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
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Default May 04, 2023 at 06:15 AM
  #988
Yup. Totally wired. But happy today. I slept but woke up a couple of times for an hour each time.

I feel like I could run miles. I can’t run. I wanna take a walk but it’s quite cold and dreary out. Don’t have time for the gym. Work should be interesting.

I knew this would happen with an SSRI but no, don’t listen to the patient or anything. **** off.

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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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Default May 04, 2023 at 09:17 AM
  #989
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Anyway I’m back on my meds and am doing okay now.

Good to hear!

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Default May 04, 2023 at 09:20 AM
  #990
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Originally Posted by Scooter9 View Post
Yes, self harm. Thanks for your words of encouragement!

I managed to avoid SH again today. One step at a time.

Wonderful!

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Default May 04, 2023 at 09:22 AM
  #991
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Originally Posted by halliebeth87 View Post
last assignment of undergrad is done! Two days til
graduation!

Congrats!

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Default May 04, 2023 at 09:45 AM
  #992
The stress is extreme during my visit to the US to help my sister and soon attend our dad's and brother's funeral and reception. The vultures are already approaching us wanting some of their belongings and property for low cost (both) or even free (belongings). My sister is very acquiescent and naive. I will confess to also trying to influence her, but more as a counter to others' greed or clear bad advice. Her husband is the epitome of bossy, bellowing, and foolish with BPD outbursts. What he orders her to do, she often does against her own better judgement. He's manipulative and is often doing the "Don't leave me! Don't leave me! You're going to leave me." Then she has to constantly say, "No, no, no." He's also a verbal abuser. I can't stand his stuff! I hate that he is involving himself. I confess to partially blaming him for my youngest nephew's death. It's hard to even be civil around him, but I am. I've disliked him from the very start, even when I was 14 years old. I wish she would leave him, but she won't. Hubby and I assume Stockholm Syndrome on Sis' part. He always refuses any therapy. Sorry for the venting.

All throughout this, I've the feeling that my living abroad makes many people act like I don't exist. There are also people showing up asking for things who say they never knew I did. That doesn't hurt that much, other than some who know who I am. My greatest support, besides Sis, has only been my husband's closest family. I accept that since my family has mostly died off or is far away, rarely seen, that my home now really is in Czech Republic.

So stressful that even Hubby and I are having fights. We need to cool off. And I say "we". He's my only support here.

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Dx: Bipolar type 1

Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg


I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia.

Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 04, 2023 at 10:31 AM..
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Default May 04, 2023 at 09:54 AM
  #993
Wow, I really can’t go anywhere now without running into someone from the senior center. Today I had to get my blood labs for my doctor appointment tomorrow. Sure enough ran into someone. I feel nostalgic for the days when I was anonymous.

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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
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Default May 04, 2023 at 11:02 AM
  #994
Bipolar Check-in #74

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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
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Default May 04, 2023 at 12:08 PM
  #995
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Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
Last assignment of undergrad is done! Two days til
Graduation!
Congratulations!!!!
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Default May 04, 2023 at 12:13 PM
  #996
Feeling lonely and disconnected today. That’s rare for me and very painful when it happens. I have to be on guard when this happens because it’s easy for me to make unwise decisions and bad choices in that state.

Went to water aerobics today and back to sit by the stream in the sun. I think it’s supposed to rain over the next 7 days. I’ll enjoy it while I can.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day.
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Default May 04, 2023 at 12:15 PM
  #997
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
The stress is extreme during my visit to the US to help my sister and soon attend our dad's and brother's funeral and reception. The vultures are already approaching us wanting some of their belongings and property for low cost (both) or even free (belongings). My sister is very acquiescent and naive. I will confess to also trying to influence her, but more as a counter to others' greed or clear bad advice. Her husband is the epitome of bossy, bellowing, and foolish with BPD outbursts. What he orders her to do, she often does against her own better judgement. He's manipulative and is often doing the "Don't leave me! Don't leave me! You're going to leave me." Then she has to constantly say, "No, no, no." He's also a verbal abuser. I can't stand his stuff! I hate that he is involving himself. I confess to partially blaming him for my youngest nephew's death. It's hard to even be civil around him, but I am. I've disliked him from the very start, even when I was 14 years old. I wish she would leave him, but she won't. Hubby and I assume Stockholm Syndrome on Sis' part. He always refuses any therapy. Sorry for the venting.

All throughout this, I've the feeling that my living abroad makes many people act like I don't exist. There are also people showing up asking for things who say they never knew I did. That doesn't hurt that much, other than some who know who I am. My greatest support, besides Sis, has only been my husband's closest family. I accept that since my family has mostly died off or is far away, rarely seen, that my home now really is in Czech Republic.

So stressful that even Hubby and I are having fights. We need to cool off. And I say "we". He's my only support here.
I’ve thought of you often and prayed for your family and for you that you come through this in one piece. I send gentle hugs and supportive vibes.
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Default May 04, 2023 at 01:17 PM
  #998
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I once said that to a pdoc I had and he told me the people around me were probably glad I was boring because it’s exhausting to keep up with mania.
My husband has said that to me about mania too. He said I'm exhausting when I'm manic. Lol

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Default May 04, 2023 at 01:45 PM
  #999
The new thread is here: Bipolar Check-in #75
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